April 17, 2004

Enter LaRoux

So my friend Jan came over to help me put in some Impatiens because I don’t know anything about plants except how to cause them to die. (Forget they exist until they dry up into sticks--works every time.)

I had my friend Julie’s kids over, and Jan has a peck of her own, so we had about 14 million kids between us. We put the little girls down for naps threw the monstrous herd of boys into the backyard. I have a VERY rural Georgia backyard. I have a shed! Heck, I have a CRICK! Here – take a look.

mybackyard.jpg

So we are putting in the impatiens and Jan goes to make sure no one is on fire or spurting arterial blood, and then I hear her, screaming my name from all the way on the other side of the house and my heart stops because I imagine some boy or another with snapped shards of bone jutting through his skin, so I go tearing through the house and as I come out on the back deck I can see all the boys are fine, swarming around the fort, but Jan is coming up the stairs, panting in horror, and she has snake face.

So I say, “Is it a snake?” Because I know that face, the eyes opened so wide that the whites show all the way around with the eyebrows going up up up as if they intend to rocket off the face altogether and establish orbit.

And Jan says “YES YES YES IT IS A SNAKE A HUGE GIANT SLAVERING EVIL DEVIL SNAKE.”

SO I trot on down with her to make sure it isn’t a water moccasin – we get those passing through once in a blue moon. They like the crick, and I like to have my husband remove their heads with a garden hoe. This snake is nice though, just a crabby black and yellow regulation Georgia yard snake. He’s a bit over three feet long and a little irked with all the fuss. We call the boys over to look at him and he gets even crabbier and slithers off into the ivy to sulk and hopefully eat any mice that might be considering coming in the house. Because, BY THE WAY, my cat is worthless.

And here is what I like about my life: I can drive 23 minutes and be smack in the middle of downtown Atlanta with giant buildings and public transportation and restaurants that know what buffalo mozzarella is and some decent theatre INCLUDING right now that play about the guy who falls in love with a goat. And yet I have a crick in my backyard, and a snake that we christened LaRoux McMouser.

By the way, if you are curious about what flavor snake he was, I looked him up online. He turned out to be a southern water snake.

Posted by joshilyn at April 17, 2004 7:00 AM