March 24, 2004

Not feeding the least of these

GAH I was working like MAD til the DOORBELL interrupted me. A little pink-cheeked couple with that freshly-scrubbed-down-with-bleach look were at the door. They really wanted to come in my house and tell me about Jesus. They were Yankees, and bless their hearts they did NOT speak Southern.

What I said: Aw thanks how sweet of ya'll, but I work from home, so you have caught me at work! Oh really? How nice of you to invite me, but I have a home church and I am very happy there. Thanks! Have you got a tract or something you would like to leave me? No? Okay, well you can get nice tracts off the internet! Okay well, thanks! Thanks Ya'll! Thanks! Oh that's so interesting. Thanks. Oh, you don't say. Thanks. ETC

What I meant: "GOOD GRIEF YOU CRACK SMOKERS, THIS IS GEORGIA! WE PUT JESUS IN THE WATER HERE AS IF HE WAS FLOURIDE. I AM CHOCK FULL OF JESUS, AND HE WISHES I HAD BETTER MANNERS AND WOULD TREAT YOU WITH RESPECT AND KINDNESS BUT THIS IS ME DISAPPOINTING HIM. GET OFF MY LAND BEFORE I BEGIN SHOOTING."

What they apparently heard: I want to stand out here on the porch with you and defend my religion, and hear why yours is better, and learn all about why I am probably going to hell for being a Methodist.

I REALLY prefer the Jehovah's witnesses. They just give you the Watchtower and go away.

Posted by joshilyn at March 24, 2004 11:32 AM
Comments

The zealots you folks export up here are no better. *wink*

Posted by: Shawn B at March 24, 2004 1:07 PM

Dear Joshilyn,

Do you like me? Check one.

___ Yes. ____ No.

Love,
YOUR SEKRIT FRINED!!

Posted by: Snarkadelic at March 29, 2004 5:54 PM

Oh yes, now you can get upgraded to first class on the 747 to hell.

Posted by: Dark Lord Fancy Pants at March 30, 2004 5:47 PM