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Where the Red Fern Does Not Grow

I need to re-invigorate my soil.

I hate gardening, so I fervently wish this was a metaphor. It is not.

Here you see a pretty picture of the loamy dirt bed outside my office. It is rife with azaleas. I show you this to make it less humiliating to show you the NEXT […]

Vermont Part Three: What Got Eaten (including My Dignity, Some Other Wayward Travelers, and My Sacred Paper Calendar)

Can someone get this monkey on a milk carton? STAT!

I am HOME, at last, at last, only to find that my Sacred Paper Calendar has been EATEN by Boggarts. Not my awful cat, although I would not put it past him, but by real actual Irish house Boggarts.

Do you understand that […]

Book Beasted

Hey, California, I could sure use a hand, here…

Dear You,

If you 1) live in the California Bay area, particularly Oakland (especially Piedmont and Montclair) San Leandro, Alameda, Albany, or El Cerrito and if you 2) Feel like doing me a solid, then I could REALLY use your help. Please email me at […]

Robert Pattinson is Kind of a Douche

Dear Twihards, please do not stomp me with your feet until I die. I don’t mean YOUR RP. I mean the one who left the below comment on my blog, along with a few thousand links to truly creepy goods and services:

“lol i ponder whether commenters truly read the stories before writing or if […]