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Named Phone is Named

OH OH OH I HEART YOU ALL SO MANY. You are the best of all of possible beloveds, living in the best of all possible blog-comments. I was screaming with hysteria reading the phone names. In case you skipped, here are a few dishonorable mentions that made me giggle:

Dani: Pink suit on your boy phone? “Metrotextual.” (LOVED IT. But it is too hard to SAY.)

Karen: Fawkes Phone (after the Phoenix in Harry Potter)

I mostly loved this one for rationale number 2—she said, “Should you ever drop it in a public toilet, you can hold out hope that it will turn into a pile of ashes and come back sanitized and working.” But ALAS my pun-loving husband and son would drive me crazy calling it a Phone-ix.

Aimee’s 4GPO is BRIL, and I loved when Lulu said, “He sounds like a Neo Go4pi. (although, on second thought, that sounds like a new rodent in pastry…)” And I liked Elizabeth’s second suggestion, that I name him “DO NOT SEND ME THAT CAT.” But DO NOT SEND ME THAT CAT is too long. And loud. And fervent.

There were five or six more that spoke to me as good, possible names….but none could overcome the flush of my own true very first love. I read the name, and it clicked in my head, and that was it. The phone was named then and there, immovably, no matter how good the entries got later. Sorry—love is love.

Get in Mah Pocket!

Roxanne! Of course, OF COURSE he has to be called Pocket Spock. POCKET SPOCK! I will call him Leonard when we are alone. *lovelorn sigh*
Roxanne, send me a snail addy and I will send you not-a-cat.

And speaking of that cat I am not sending you. TOMORROW I will post the final word on my travails with Boggart. Yes. The final word. NO MORE BOGGART. EVER. I promise! This has turned into The Crazy Cat Lady Blog.I would get it out of the way NOW but… It got long and I need to think it out more.

ASIDE: A brief note to Heather et al. I am not ignoring the GET A YOUNG CAT suggestions. I would like 5 or 6 more cats, And a small auxiliary pug-mutt dog to go with our large main dog, Bagel. And Guinea pigs. And three goats (goats are herd animals, and that means they are like potato chips—You can’t have just ONE!) And a boa and a fish pond with turtles in. And chickens.


One of my favorite things to do is surf the pet pr0n on Petfinder.com. RIGHT NOW I am crushing hard on a cat named Wonder. See him? He looks a little bit…undead. But who cares. His main selling point in my book is, he drools with pleasure when his borkendy ears are scratched. I HEART HIM AND WISH HE WERE MINE.

It’s just that if I got another cat, I would also have to get another husband. And I find I cannot do without the One True Scott. Sometimes, when an extreme animal person marries a “Meh, pets are fine. But not in bulk,” person, compromises must be made. HE makes plenty. After all, he would love nothing more than a nice, crated-at-night dog, and yet he puts up with 60 pounds of Bagel in the bed every night. As long as he stays on my side.

The other night he came up to join me in bed; Bagel was on my right, Schubert was on my left, and Boggart was lounged in a long string at the foot, staring balefully at the snuggle-pile and wondering how to make a pipe bomb. There was NO BED SLICE for Scott. We had to re-arrange and disgruntle a bunch of animals to wedge the man in, and they all whined and made a big deal of it until Scott said, “Should you and I just go sleep in the guest room?”

SO, we must not torment Scott with MORE cats.

11 comments to Named Phone is Named

  • Dani

    I am content with just being a dishonorable mention! And I hope Pocket Spock stays out of the potty!

  • Nancy

    Well, another young cat could make Boggart a lot more pleasant, if Scott has problems with him, but I understand about the extreme animal person meets the animals are okay person. There are five cats here and anymore put me in serious danger of becoming even crazier of a cat lady.

  • *giggle* @ The One True Scott. I may have to co-opt that when I find my own One True ______. 😉

  • I’m with Heather. I have The One True Steve (mine’s a Stephen, so if someone else has a Steven, the can be Only True, too).

  • gilly

    I was just wondering, when the One True Scott said, “Should you and I just go sleep in the guest room?”, with whom was he conversing?
    The thought just popped into my head, being that there were 4 other beings in the room. ( it might just be that it is 4am and I am a little confused ……..)

  • Lia

    Maybe you could make a trade, a perfectly healthy Boggart for a mangled looking Wonder? It could work?!!? Miss your face.

  • Leslie Noon

    The image of Boggart wondering how to make a pipe bomb is today’s reason for reading your blog. And now I know what my Houdini has been thinking while glaring balefully at the dog.

  • Oh, I am SO GLAD you liked the name suggestion!!! Conan’s muscles are a little more ripped, but I think Spock has him beat in the brains dept. A Conan phone would just ring REALLY LOUDLY.

    I am wishing with all of my heart that the thing you send is an ARC of your new book. HOWEVER, I will gladly accept whatever arrives and just be grateful it’s NOT Boggart. He’d have to move outside with our other kitties, and I don’t think he’d like the coons that live out there in the woods.

  • Laura

    Oh, no, this is very ominous! If Boggart is going to take a Long Walk in Concrete Overshoes somewhere, you should keep telling occasional Boggart stories so we do not suspect!

  • Brigitte

    I love Pocket Spock as well! I TRIED to think of something Spock-ly, but my mind just wasn’t up to it . .

  • Aimee

    I’m happy with my dishonorable mention! Truthfully, as soon as I saw “Pocket Spock” I had a feeling you would not be able to resist the lure of Leonard. 😉

    I love the word “borkendy.” I have a cat whose ears are NOT borkendy, but she does indeed drool mightily with pleasure when they are scratched. I understand the appeal.