A CONTEST IN A SECOND OKAY???? But first…THE BOGGART UPDATE: Yesterday I took him to the vet to see if to see if his unrequited buttholery has a physical cause. In comments, folks have been asking for an update.
Well. There is no Boggart update yet. I expect to get his test results back this week. His teeth are great; he is strong and hale—- forget NINE years, the vet says he is likely to live a HUNDRED YEARS, assuming we allow him to keep feeding on the blood of infants in the night…
Calloo Callay, oh frabjous day.
Also? That weird little freakazoidal animal purred and fawned over the vet like the vet was PEELING HIM GRAPES even as the vet jabbed a huge needle into his neck and pulled out what looked like half his vital fluids.
Best thing the vet said: “If his tests are clean, let’s try him on anti-anxiety meds. They can work wonders in cats like this.”
Worst thing the vet said: “Well, it could be a brain tumor, but let’s rule out everything else first. Brain tumors in cats are extremely expensive to diagnose.”
WARNING! SUPER GROSS. If you are SQUEAMISH skip this paragraph. When the vet tech took him off to be weighed, I saw the tech was trailing a streamer of red and yellow ribbon from his armpit, which seemed weird. Then the tech came back and set Boggart down and we both realized the streamer was not coming from the vet tech’s armpit. Or Boggart’s armpit. It was 10 inches long and trailing out from quite a different Boggartly source.
So … I guess his Pica is not limited to WIRE.And now, a contest. If you win, I will send you a secret prize that is secret because I don’t; know what it is yet. Probably soemthign really crappy! That I find in my shelves/drawers next to my desk. Maybe a plastic panda Maybe candy! Maybe a pen! Who knows. To win a non-fabulous not very specific something all you have to do is…
Name my new phone. Yeah, I have a new phone. I loved DJ Cracky B very very very much.
I had two problems with it. One is, I couldn’t work TWITTER on the DJ. It rarely properly loaded Twitter, and when it DID it took eons, and then half the time I would get error messages and my tweets wouldn’t go. And it never loaded other people’s tweets and the screen was too little for good tweet-reading ANYWAY…But this is not a deal breaker. I just gave up on using twitter and kept the phone.
The second problem was slightly more insurmountable: I dropped DJ Cracky B in a toilet.
A NEW YORK toilet.
A PUBLIC NEW YORK TOILET IN NEW YORK CITY.
SO that was that.
I got a Smart Phone, but DJ SMARTY SMART PHONE is dumb . (I hear someone in the peanut gallery saying. “Yes but DJ CRACKY B is a MENSA level phone name…” and to that someone I say, earnestly, I KNOW, RIGHT?)
Downside: I STILL do not understand twitter. The smart phone seems to understand it, so maybe the smart phone is smarter than me.
SO What can I name it????
Yes, I am bribing you with prizes.
RULES: One name per person, so give it your BEST SHOT—- no scattershotting 20 names in a comment.
SLEPT ON IT CLAUSE: If you leave a name, and come up with a BETTER name later, you can come back and add that one. You can do that up to TWICE.
I posted a pic, and here is what I know about this phone, to help you find his proper name:
It is male. (all my machines are male…car, computer. I tend to assign things a gender in this weird way. Like… all squirrels are hims to me. All birds are hers, except parrots, which are clearly boys.)
It is smart.
Google makes it.
It has a secret keypad that pops out from under because I hate touchpad typing.
It is a 4G droid.
It wears a pink rubbery suit.