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A Winner Is History. Or Cigarette. Or Lindsey and a Duck. I Don’t Know. Someone Somewhere Won or Will Win Something. Yay.

The RNG has spoken, Congrats to Lindsey who, on February 7th, 2011 at 8:18 pm said “Wow! The story behind the two of you and this book is so amazing. I remember when Marianne Mancusi’s house burnt down, and it was so neat to see everyone pitch in for her. Congrats on the book!”

Lindsey wins the signed copy of Evenfall.

May I just say, very very soon, I will be giving away start-of-book crits (one to help raise money for Vermont College of Fine Arts??) I will tell you when that happens.

Sorry, I forgot to do the drawing until NOW. I tell you what, spiritual upheaval is time consuming. But if this is my personal The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul, then I am sipping the bitters at the bottom of the cup, I think. My introspection cake plate holds naught but crumbs; I choked the dry slice down, and I have a plan. Yay.

This probably means I shall experience gale force good intentions, then flollop helplessly in the plan’s general direction, feel moderately better for a brief window, get distracted, wander off, forget, stop working at it, become enraged with myself and God without realizing it, fester, and have this exact same puling crisis again in two years.

Or perhaps I will systematically act now and consistently going forward and eventually become a better human being.

One of those will happen anyway. History is making sex-eyes at choice A, but HOPE is all about believing in B—so much so Hope is slow dancing with choice B to a Journey song.

“DON’T STOP BELIEVING,” warbles Hope, that putz, and upon being called a putz asks me to recall exactly how many times I SWORE I would reallyfortrue quit smoking only to Epic FAIL.

About 170.

“And how many years have you now been 99.9% Camel Special Light free, not counting the occasional lapsing pull off someone’s cigar at a party?” Hope asks, a little smug.

More than a decade now.

I get the point, Hope. But History is not changing his bet. He knows becoming a better human is even harder than stopping smoking, and I SWEAR to you some days I would kill Hope’s own delightful sainted granny for a single drag. So. We’ll see.

History's grandmother is probably this duck.


I am sitting in the office, furiously typing this, and Scott is at his desk doing bills.

Me to Scott, out of the blue: Who is Hope’s Grandmother?

Scott: What? Hope who? Do we know a Hope?

Me: Hope, you know, Hope the CONCEPT. Like, if HOPE was a person, then who is the generator of HOPE if you go back two emotional, conceptual generations?

Scott: *think think think* Patience.

Me: GAH! I HATE patience. If that’s the case, I would be happy kill Hope’s grandmother ANYWAY, whether I got a cigarette out of it or NOT.

Scott: ….OKAY!

7 comments to A Winner Is History. Or Cigarette. Or Lindsey and a Duck. I Don’t Know. Someone Somewhere Won or Will Win Something. Yay.

  • Lindsey

    Thank you SO MUCH! I am so excited to read this book, and I can’t believe that I won!

    I can hear Hope warbling the song in my ears, and I hope you can, too. If Patience is a grandmother, I feel as if she would be a strict one, with a bun, tiny spectacles, and a handkerchief in her sleeve.

  • JulieB

    Hee! I love the ending.

    I was thinking about you today (fortrues) in church. Probably I should be embracing the fact that they are going to change some of the words in the Mass to better reflect what everyone else in the world was saying, but I just got all pissy, just like the priest told me I shouldn’t be doing.

    Anyway, I was thinking about being mad a God, and you (not mad at you, though), and how I was really glad, afterall, that Lent is still a couple of weeks away. Because I think it’s like a marathon, and I’m not ready yet. I need some spring. It starts on my birthday this year, so another year of not giving up chocolate, since I am always screwed on my birthday when I do. That is off-topic though.

    Anyway, just showing up helped, I saw people who have some bigger concerns and worries and reasons to be mad at God. And I realized I’m really just mad at the church, and then I decided I was OK with that afterall.

    I wish you a beautiful spring.

  • Patience does piss me off no end, too.

  • You might appreciate this quote from a recent post on Brene Brown’s Ordinary Courage blog (the rest of the post is well worth the time, too):

    As a lover of all things certain, I wanted faith to work like an epidural; to numb the pain of vulnerability. As it turned out, my faith ended up being more like a midwife – a nurturing partner who leans into the discomfort with me and whispers “push” and “breathe.”

  • “Or perhaps I will systematically act now and consistently going forward and eventually become a better human being.”

    I think the KEY words in this EXCELLENT sentence that so succinctly lays out the life plan of humanity are “systematically, consistently, eventually.” We will ALSO systematically fail. . .and consistently see something shiny. . .and eventually get BACK ON TRACK. Which is where you are now. So. I’m sayin’ you’ve ALREADY moved forward on the “becoming a better human being” track.

    However, sexy eyes are ALWAYS out there. . .but Journey songs tug at your soul even when you can’t SEE sexy eyes.

    With Patience, I will systematically, consistently, and eventually I will JOIN you as a better human being. I Hope.

  • liz

    Nothing pithy here. I just really like the duck. : )

  • LaurieB

    I think Hope’s grandmother is Endurance, from whence came Patience, etc.,etc…