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I Suppose There’s Nothing Left but Some Weird Form of Sexism at Big K-Mart

Maisy Jane's dream wedding cake....

Beautiful Maisy who is about to be barely nine was sitting in my office playing this Disney Princess game on my computer. You take a little girl virtual paper doll, make it look like you, dress it up, and then put in on backgrounds to interact with Disney Princesses (and assorted other characters) that you ALSO dress up. I transcribed the following conversation that Maisy had among herselves as she put her character onto a beach with The Little Mermaid.

Maisy: Oh! Ariel! Why must I look so…human?

Ariel: Because you are human, Maisy. Do not fear, for I will become human and walk with you. On my feet! AHHHH AHHH OW OW OW….There. Here I am with feet.

Maisy: Wonderful, and look, our princes are coming. *Two Prince Eric figures appear on the beach* Oh wait, I just noticed. My prince looks JUST LIKE YOURS.

Ariel: That’s okay.

Random Identical Prince Eric: I have something to tell you, honeycakes. I just want to say, oh honeycakes. We both of us princes, we all just want to say… *bursts into song* FELIZ NAVIDAD! FELIZ NAVIDAD!

The song choice is not surprising. When the actual Prince Eric whom Maisy will marry finally appears (many MANY years from now, say, after college, please Lord and Amen), he is bound to be some flavor of Latino. She informed me of this, quite loudly, in fact, in Target, while picking out the latest in her series of olive skinned, glossy black haired and dark eyed dollies.

Hello, my name is Siegfried

“I picked this one because I want it to look like my REAL babies will look. It’s like how me and Sam look like you and daddy put together. And I am going to marry a Mexico boy, and he will be a MUCH BROWNER boy than me. I don’t like pale skin as much. I like BROWN boys. MY babies will be BROWNER THAN ME BUT NOT AS BROWN AS HIM,” she trumpeted in her high, carrying voice.

I immediately felt SUFFUSED with that inexplicable middle class white American girl guilt, like, wondering if I was somehow raising my child to be a singular reverse racist? Is there such a thing? Is it wrong that at age eight she has pre-rejected white, black and Asian suitors? And if there IS such a thing and singular reverse racism, must
my 8 year old come out as one at top volume in the Hiram Super Target?

Considering this is the child who, at the tender age of two, pioneered Quasi-reverse gay bashing in the Walmart, I suppose this was inevitable…

20 comments to I Suppose There’s Nothing Left but Some Weird Form of Sexism at Big K-Mart

  • Beth R

    Why do I keep thinking that someone’s mother is sitting there giggling to herself thinking, “payback, my dear!”

  • Here’s a character you can have for free: my uncle refused to watch T’V (that’s how you pronounce it; accent aigue on the T) so he would sit on the porch so he could hear it and make fun of the commercials, out loud. He especially liked to mock one (commercial) about biscuits (maybe) that were made with “pure creamery butter”.

  • Oh, my bad: I was supposed to comment on the K-Mart story, to wit: what does the K in K-Mart stand for?

  • Jody

    Many years ago, after a third grade field trip, I was teasing my daughter about the boys in her class. “Do you like Brendon? Steven? Travis?” Naming a lot of the boys in her class. She stopped me and said “why didn’t you ask me about Joseph?” Joseph was one of the African American students in her class. I answered honestly by saying that it had not occurred to me say Joseph and that all though she was free to love whomever she wanted it would make her life more difficult and would not be my choice for her. She promptly replied “What if it is my choice for me?” “I’m right behind you no matter what!”
    I have the most beautiful brown grand daughter! LOL
    Might want to brush up on your Spanish….

  • jeanette

    I just read the link about Sigfried/Faggot/Dyker. HA! Love it!! When my daughter was about 3, she announced VERY LOUDLY in a very crowded public restroom “I LOVE YOUR RED PANTIES, MOM!” Only a little embarrassing.
    Now for a much better, MUCH more embarrassing story that thank God is not my story, but the sad story of a friend that I most fortunately got to be witness to.
    Many years ago I worked in a daycare center with an open floor plan. At nap time, us poor frazzled teachers would gather together and visit quietly while our kids were asleep. One teacher, whom I will allow to remain un-named (for reasons you will soon understand), was also the mother of one of quite vocal and slightly unruly 4 year old. One quiet afternoon, as all of the other children slept peacefully, said 4 year old sat up on her cot (for probably the 100th time that WEEK alone, in her refusal to nap with the other children) and informed all of us in the most matter of fact voice a 4 year old has ever used “MY MOM HAS A PINK WEENIE IN THE CLOSET.”
    So let me just say, that embarrassment at the hands (or mouth) of your child in public in front of strangers may be awful, but in front of all of your co-workers……….well, you can imagine.
    I still see this poor woman around town on occassion, and that is the first thing I think of every time I see her.

  • Shelley

    If Maisy’s only objection to white people is that they are pale, perhaps she will eventually broaden her pool of acceptable suitors to include other less melanin challenged types. Until then it at least limits the boyfriend pool.

  • Isn’t it nice that Maisie is demonstrating some knowledge of genetics.

  • I remembered reading that post, and since it’s been nearly seven years, I laughed just as much now as I did then. And I cannot WAIT for my husband to get home so I can read it to HIM again so that HE can laugh again too. Thank you for sharing. You people are HILARIOUS!!!!

    When my daughter was two, she began saying “DON-DOM-IT” when something would go wrong. . .dropped her sippy cup, broke her animal cracker, etc. It sound very nearly like gd, and we DON’T say that EVER (seriously). So I was a bit puzzled as to where she’d learned it. Turned out, she learned it from me. “Dadgummit” from the mouth of babes is NOT a pretty word.

  • I do adore Miss Maisie.

  • OMG She’s in love with one of Kira’s, isn’t she?

  • I remember vividly my slight jolt when my 14-year-old son came up to me and said, “You’ve gotta watch this movie, Mom! It stars Angela Bassett and I think she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!”. No objections, just didn’t see it coming, although I should have, since his favorite X-Man was Storm.

    And Lillian’s son, Ryan, managed to turn heads with his first girlfriend out here in Washington, who introduced herself by saying, “Hi, I’m Lily and I’m from the Sudan”. They were a striking couple.

    I have to agree with RandomRanter, though, that it’s way seriously cool that Maisy has such a firm grasp of genetics!

  • Em

    I remember being at Target with my children in the next aisle with my husband. They saw a cleaner that Billy Mays was selling at the time. The tag line was “BAM! The dirt is gone!” but my son came running to me to tell me “DAMN! (Unintelligible)” and the more he repeated it, the surer I was that nothing was going to come out that didn’t sound like him cursing at me to other shoppers, and excitedly!

  • Brigitte

    Hee, you’ve probably made fun of your own whiteness so often, that Maisy doesn’t want any of her own children to suffer the same terrible fate! :-D

  • sillyme

    My son had a stage where he loved to point out Monkeys. He would yell out over and over “Look, there’s a honkey!” at top volume until I acknowledged that there was indeed a monkey there where he was pointing. It was a bit embarrassing, but at least he was over his obsession with trucks. That one was bad.

  • Aimee

    *snort* Okay, I love anything that gives you an excuse to link back to the tiger story. Truly one of my all-time FTK favorites.

  • Maisy is welcome to one of my brown Mexico boys! Although I think Max is destined to have a deeply complex and intense relationship with Mir’s Chickadee. And although I think Tre would be very Scott-like to Maisy’s you-like flightiness, somehow I see her with Raphael. They would have a grand time. Although they might need to hire someone to balance their checkbook.
    What? Too much thinking about it?
    Fine.

  • Andreia

    My half-Brasilian, brownly 14 yr old son has a love of all things Asian. It started in the 4th grade with a girl who played the cello and was almost as smart as he. He’s all on-board now with the whole shebang of anime and he even drinks green tea. I imagine some day my 6ft 3 boy with the widely curly locks and full lips will give in fully and marry a girl that weighs 87 pounds and has beautiful straight hair that is so unlike mine. Oh well, what can you do?

  • edj

    I love Maisy Jane and her extremely loud vocals! That tiger story was awesome. I can relate–my children are loud and embarrassing too. You can count on them!
    Random funny story of mine: we have just moved to the Sahara desert and we see a man praying by the side of road. Elliot, age 5: MOM!!! THAT MAN IS WORSHIPPING HIS CAR!! LOOK!!

  • jenn k

    Loved, loved this story… and then clicked through and read the Siegfried tiger story. Must now go change pants, have wet self.

  • Les in AZ

    Just so you know I decided to marry an Indian (feathers not dots) when I was a kid, and… I did :) And my kids are a pretty color since I’m a fish belly white redhead. Tell miss Maisy that she has a good plan :)

    PS – my 6yr old told us she will NEVER date a boy with curly hair because she HATES it.

    Kids…gotta love their entertainment value.