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Some Random Tuesday Think Fasts

If you put coconuts, Hopelessness, and Hitler Mustache into a google image search, you get this rabbit. Oooookay!

So Scott and I were flopping around this afternoon while I had mental illness and as a distraction he asked me to say three things I hated really fast without thinking. I said, IS THIS A MEME. And he said, NO BUT IT COULD BE. I said,

1) Coconuts
3) Hitler

What are yours? DO NOT THINK, JUST GO.

The dog ate all the Halloween candy out of my daughter’s bucket and I feel awful because I am the one who left her door open so he could get it plus the chocolate might have poisoned him. It didn’t. Still. It could have. I am so disgruntled by the whole experience that today when someone asked me to finish the following poem:

Roses are red, violets are blue

My immediate closing line was: I am tired of sitting in the yard watching my dog poop wrappers.

Which doesn’t rhyme or have any noticeable rhythm, either. But it is true.


I have been watching Glee via Netflix. Just finished season one. Died of love for Kurt as Mama Rose. Britney is my favorite. “I didn’t realize that dolphins were just gay sharks…yeah. It’s true though.” I worry that if I were Olivia Newton John, I too would have voted for Vocal Adrenaline’s gonzo rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody, dazzled by the dance routine and entirely blind to the motley crew of heart having darlings pouring their guts out and not stopping believing. If you weren’t watching Glee, the show, but just showed up as a celebrity judge, would you have picked t win? New Directions, Vocal Adrenalin or Aural Intensity who would be singing a song you wrote to pander to you? JUST VOTE, NO THINKING!

But if you have never seen Glee, then, alternately, there is this: My new favorite TV line ever spoken not in a Joss Whedon show is when Sue begins describing the deformed pink monkey butt she wants to put William’s face into, and she describes it quitequitequite vividly, and then just when you think it is over she adds, in a casual, almost insouciant tone, that the money butt will be, “Weeping lymph.”

What is your best line from a play/movie/show ever. DO NOT THINK JUST SAY.

Lastly, a moral dilemma. Do you think that it is wrong that unless the songs are from a Broadway show I like or have complicated dance routines (Preferably featuring Britney and Mike Chang) I get bored and fast forward through them? YES OR NO?

And that’s all.

32 comments to Some Random Tuesday Think Fasts

  • I don’t know, really, anything at all, but a random fellow just sat down next to me at Starbucks (which is fine, because I am totally hogging the comfy chairs and sitting here all by myself and I only need one chair after all) and Simon and Garfunkel’s “Feelin’ Groovy” just came on the PA and it makes me smile. As do you, with all your randomness and high MI # that very nearly rivals my own. I wish I were so creative that coconuts, helplessness and Hitler immediately came to mind, and I just thought, coffee and music and comfy chairs, and how pathetically uncreative is THAT?!

  • Haley

    That is exactly how I watch Glee. The fast forward button gets a workout. I resisted watching for a long time because I don’t really like music, but my sister kept nagging me. If I am watching with others I zone out during the songs, but if I am alone, there is much fast-forwardage.

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic and so am I.
    Wish I could claim it, but I saw it in a locker in high school many, many years ago.

  • jeanette

    WOW, only the 4th comment, but already mine was used!! So, here is my modification:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I’m schizophrenic
    And Sandi is too

  • Lizzy

    “Hitler, Troll, Lampshade” the first image is of a dude in a lucha libre mask, drinking a soda….. and then some lolcats with unfortunate ‘staches.

    Roses are red
    violets are blue
    I hate you,
    you smell like poo. (charming child, I was

    I don’t watch Glee….. (please don’t disown me)

    and my brain went in two directions. Movie line: I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?”
    play: How now spirit, whither wander you?

  • Holiday seasons coming too soon, sunny days when I’m working, drats I’m out of chocolate.

    Rose are red
    and violets are blue
    but the creep through your yard
    and kill the roses. (no rhyme but true – it’s like little kudzu.)

    From Robin Hood Prince of thieves – Alan Rickman – “I will carve your heart out with a spoon,” which sounds totally terrible, but it’s Alan Rickman so I will watch the first time.

  • Jennifer in NC

    I hate: 1) rudeness 2) raisins 3) fake boobs

    Roses are red, violets are blue
    you look like a monkey and you smell like one too. (yes, I am 12)

    From Steel Magnolias “If you can’t say anything nice about anybody, come sit by me!”

    You may fast forward through Glee, but you might miss something fabulous!! If you are a Mike Chang (Harry Shum, Jr) fan check out his dance crew “The League of Extraordinary Dancers”. They are beyond belief.

  • Brigitte

    Oh, I luuurved Alan Rickman in that. Well, in anything.

    I freeze up when I’m told “GO!”, although my current favorite TV show line is “I’ll be in my bunk.”

    Yes, I’m a few years behind on the whole Joss Whedon thing.

  • Mir

    1) Calls from school, okra, not having change for the parking meter.
    2) Roses are red, violets are blue, it’s raining too hard for the dog to go out and poo.
    3) That word, I do not think it means what you think it means.

  • Erika

    Movie line: “I like to think you killed a man. It’s the romantic in me.” (Actually, there are SEVERAL lines from that movie I could claim as my favorite.)

    Things I hate: 1.)Unnecessary Rudeness. 2.)Willful Ignorance 3.)Realizing I’m wrong about something halfway through my argument.

    Roses are Red, Kudzu is Green. You’re the purtiest girl I ever done seen. (I think that one came from one of those “you might be a redneck” routines, but I don’t remember for sure.)

  • Em

    1) Dementia, Money, Pecan Almond Wheat Thins

    2) Roses are red, Violets are Blue, My pants hurt but candy tastes good (mine doesn’t rhyme either. You said just go!)

    3) Don’t be sorry, just be Wally (a Brady sequel line. I can’t remember which one, possibly the Christmas one where Mike gets caught in a mine or a well or some collapsed building or something).

    I answered these because I MUST comment about Glee – my very favorite is the relationship between Kurt and his dad. I love how they love each other and are figuring out their relationship around Kurt being gay without a mom to soften it all. I can’t really say I’ve ever seen that played out before and I think it is so sweet.

    My favorite line from Glee: Sue Sylvester to Will Shuester, “I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark cold night I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face.”

  • sillyme

    3 Things I hate:
    1. When I write a reply and my computer hiccoughs and dissapears it.
    2. When people are late or don’t show up
    3. dog pee in my house

    Best movie line evah: (Quest for the Holy Grail)
    “Now we see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I’m being repressed!”

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    If I don’t clean up soon the cleaners will know how messy we are and charge more.

    The Glee thing:
    Umm, the last one? ok, yeah that one.

  • Kathy

    1) Widespread loss of common sense, big fat creepy spiders, helplessness
    2) Roses are red, violets are blue, life is a miracle, & so are you.
    3) I agree I’d have to vote for vocal adrenaline. Love love love me some Glee but the kids are still learning and evolving.
    4) No, not wrong to the fast forwarding. Some people just don’t “get” music, they have other talents.
    And PS: the Alan Rickman line is one of my favorites too! I use it at work alot. Heh.

  • Jill W.

    Em stole my favorite Glee line!

    Here’s another favorite from the Holy Grail in the same scene as quoted above: Oh, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

  • I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!


  • 1. Tomatos, meatloaf, and inconsideration. (To be clear, I dislike visible tomatoes. If you make them small enough or in a sauce, that’s fine. Big chunks, no. Odd that it was my first hate thought, though.)

    2. Roses are red, violets are blue, God I hate this place.

    3. New Directions because I love Journey (their songs remind me of senior prom and THAT boy) and I can’t hear Bohemian Rhapsody without thinking of Wayne’s World, which is not a winner.

    4. Best line is perhaps not a line in that I can type it out, but that moment in The Money Pit where the bathtub falls through the second floor and smashes all over the first floor. Tom Hanks stands over the hole and does this laugh “HAAAAAA! Ha! Ha! Haaaaaaahhhhaaaa!…” It is a laugh of pure insanity borne of aggravation and frustration and it is sacred to me.

  • Jujube

    1. Winter.
    2. Winter.
    3. Winter. sigh.

    Roses are red, violets are blue, why aren’t there ever enough hours in the day?

    Not a big Glee fan, but I do love Jane Lynch to death. She steals every scene she’s in.

    Pretty much every single line from Raising Arizona, but especially “Anyway, we’re approaching the wreck, and there’s this spherical object a restin’ in the highway. And it’s not a piece of the car.”

  • Dog, floor, sprite brings up an oddly shaped green tent on the image search for reasons that are totally vague.

    I’ve been using “What have the Romans ever done for us?” in response to whining lately. It is from Monty Python’s Life of Brian. If you don’t know the scene it is way too hard to explain.

  • DebR

    1. Spiders, Destitution, Black Licorice
    2. Roses are red, violets are blue, actually violets are purple, so this poem is stupid.
    3. What Becca said. (Did you know that Joss Whedon said that Britney is his fave Gleek too?)
    4. “You GUYS, you KNOW how picky I am about my SHOES and they only go on my FEET.” (Cher, from “Clueless” explaining to her friends why she is still a virgin at the oh-so-advanced age of sixteen…made perfect sense to me! LOL!)
    5. Yes. 🙂

  • Insomnia, spambots, onions.

    I’d nap, baby, if I were you! (Can’t get baby to nap for anything. Am now trying to shush her crying while typing this.)

    As for not liking songs, I think sometimes listening to music is a habit.

  • I just realized my “I’d nap, baby, if I were you!” comment sounds like a threat. Nope. It’s just that the people who need naps never get them, and the ones who *can* take naps during the day (and, in fact, are supposed to) never seem to want to.

  • Aimee

    1. the Tea Party, ignorance and lima beans

    2. Roses are red/violets are blue/I hate teh stupid/how about you?

    3. “Are my eyes really brown?” – Casablanca

    4. NO. I do the same thing.

  • Aimee

    Oops — and Vocal Adrenaline, duh. Their version of Bohemian Rhapsody was perfect.

  • Pamela L

    3 things I hate:

    Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My Baby’s in Texas, I miss you!!

    One of my Favorite Lines from Steel Magnolias: “I don’t like Tomates. I just grow them; I don’t know why. I’m Southern, that’s what we do!!”

    Love Glee completely – Totally would have voted for Vocal Adrenaline for that Bohemian Rhapsody –

  • stephanie

    coffee without milk

    I keep hearing all manner of wonderfulness about Glee and I still haven’t caught one episode. What am I busy doing? What could be more important?? It may be time to netflix.

  • Michelle M.

    winter, coconut, politicians
    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Poverty sucks
    and so do you (not you personally, but ‘you’ in general)

    You can’t handle the truth

    have never seen an episode of Glee. I’m one of those people who won’t watch a show because everyone tells me I must!

  • Shelley

    Hate: Mean people, mushrooms, monotony
    Roses are red, violets are blue, I don’t know what to do
    No quotes come to mind
    Fast forward would help Glee a lot. I only like the show in a medium way because of the rather repetitive sophomoric subject matter so I might be more likely to watch the music numbers and fast forward through the talking. Jane Lynch is awesome in a Mean People sort of way.

  • Shelley

    Remembered a quote for Roger Rabbit’s Jessica: “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”

  • Joshilyn,

    I have some of my favorite sweeter movies memorized like Lilies of the Field and A Christmas Story. The line that always freezes in my brain is from the flick Bad Girls where the main star has a shoot out with her old lover who runs out of bullets during the scene – she takes one out of her gun, tosses it to him and says – – “Pick it up, put it in, and die like a man.”

  • Mice, Narcissism, Headaches

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue(purple)
    Show me the way to you

    One of my Favorite Lines from The Notebook
    “It is the possibility that keeps me going … and though you may call me a dreamer or a fool or any other thing, I believe that anything is possible!

    What Glee? exultation! (Smiles)

  • Michelle-who-is-Shelley

    First movie line to pop into my head was also one from the Holy Grail :
    “She turned me into a newt.
    “You don’t look like a newt”
    “I got better.”

    I love GLEE too but also often fast forward through songs that aren’t my kind of song. But I will listen to ANY song if Mike Chang is dancing in it. And Miss Brittany S. Peares. “I thought Dr. Pepper was a real doctor.”

  • Mr. Husband

    Ok, I’ll play…

    Things I hate: matching socks from the laundry, pettiness, and people who can’t get to the point.

    Roses are red, violets are blue,
    I like my dog, til I step in his poo.

    Best movie line ever:
    “Into the mud, scum queen!”