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Whatever Happened to Five Full Plates?

I would like to play life-swap with this fellow for a day or two.

So we were all supposed to start this FASHION CHALLENGE over on Five Full Plates but then all five of us got a whole enormous rubbery elephant carcass dumped on our respective plates and we are too busy trying to CHOKE THOSE BOOGERS DOWN to blog there. We are changing the name to Five Overfull Plates Who Have Nothing To Say About That.

I am sure many of you currently have an elephant on your plate too. SO, you might ask, How do you eat the elephant?

One bite at a time. And you have to forget about stuffing in the green beans or the corn pudding. If you want to eat the elephant, you can’t have room for the things that are NOT the elephant. Five Full Plates? Is not The Elephant. Not for any of us.

You can find us whining about our elephants (and hopefully stuffing them down and digesting them) on our own individual blogs (links in the sidebar of 5FP). My elephant is made up of 50% parts FINISHING THIS *@^_%#$(@&_#&_*@+ novel, 40% WIFE-n-MOMing (which currently seems to mean blowing kisses at my husband on my way to take my kids to ballet-crosscountry-youthgroup-jazzdancing-school-choir-playdates), and 20% part prepping to teach, 10% being a friend and an active member of a community, and 10% worrying. Yes, I know that equals 130%. That’s kind of the problem.

Yes, I am going to be teaching in the spring. I will be visiting faculty for one semester—details to come. For now I will say, I am wildly excited as I love teaching but never have time for it and my CV was falling so far out of date it was as if it followed Dina down the rabbithole and was currently making out with the Mock Turtle and reminiscing about all the drugs it took in the 60’s.

I finally decided the only way to have time for it was to commit to do it and be all Psycho-Costner and cue the whispery voices to say “If you commit to it, the time will come.” I hope they are truthful voices. OR maybe I will be so overwhelmed my head will pop off and roll off merrily down the street like that bouncy ball at the bottom of the TV who squashes the lyrics.

Dear Sir, Please continue to stuff those cheeks until your mouth is SO full you have to STHU. Love, Joshilyn

If B? I hope it bounces on the RELENTLESS CHIPMUNK who is even now chirruping endlessly away right outside my office window, and I hope his voice box is permanently smashed and he lives out the rest of his tiny overly cute stripey-butted flip-tailed life making nothing but huffy breath noise that only the ants next door can hear.

As for Five Full Plates? We are not taking it down, in the spirit of HOPE. We plan to LEAVE IT THERE sitting quietly and assume our lives will calm down. Three of us are finishing novels, two of us are entering new phases in their lives, two of us have health issues, five of us are neurotic, one of us is swamped with travel, all of us have thousands of little and large and even grown-up children in our houses, needing things, all of us are in love and hope to make out with our husbands again before we die.

The irksome thing is I did all this FASHIONY CRAP in prep to actually NOT FAILING an 5FP challenge. I failed every one of them, spectacularly,so far, But this one, I had set my knob to TOTAL TRIUMPH. Perhaps I will blog that here, in a feature we call Fashion Friday and that I will post on randomly every week or two on any day except Friday. Because that’s how me and my single threadbare moth-suck-covered hole infested organizational skill roll…

8 comments to Whatever Happened to Five Full Plates?

  • Beth R

    This is what is known as “life getting in the way of… well, life!” It happens and we all know it well. And I suspect I’m not the only person who’s not panicked about it.

    Good for you for jumping right in to the teaching whether or not you’re “ready” for it! I bet that will be a fun class 🙂

  • Em

    I am actually thrilled to hear this. Five Full Plates is in my sage reader thingy (that tells you when blogs are updated.) FFP has been BOLD for so long. I know I must have missed a few and I love it so I didn’t want to go read it until I could commit the time to go back to where I left off. But that BOLD. It mocks me. It puts its thumbs in its ears and wags its fingers and says that the BOLD means there are too many posts to ever catch up on. I don’t want to click it to find out for sure because then the bold will go away and I will have no reminder of this enjoyable task (but a task nonetheless) before me. Yes. Please. Take a break. But only until I catch up, please.

  • Shelley

    Sorry to hear FFP is on hiatus, I was excited to see what clever ideas y’all had. Not that your ideas alone aren’t sufficient. Elephants are hard to eat without lots of indigestion or at least carving off large portions for others to eat. Good luck to you. Can you share where and what you’ll be teaching?

  • You’ll be an awesome teacher, and if something had to go — besides your sanity — sounds like you made the best decision. I certainly wouldn’t want you to give up your novels or FTK, and methinks the kids and Scott have opinions about your availability, too. And yo, try to find a little time for fun.

  • Brigitte

    I did kinda wonder about FFP, but knew better than to ask, figuring you all were berating yourselves and full of self-loathing and everything already. No need for any of us to berate you! 😉

  • I would kill (not literally) AND commute from Tennesee (absolutely and literally) to take a class from you!!! Even if you were teaching MATH or about DAMS…I trust neither of these is the case…but even then! If you teach it, I will come!!!

  • Aimee

    “Perhaps I will blog that here, in a feature we call Fashion Friday and that I will post on randomly every week or two on any day except Friday.”

    Now that you have said this, I assume that you will post ONLY on Fridays. 😉

    As for the elephant… yeah, I’ve got one too. Most days it seems more like a wooly mammoth, and I am heartily sick of the flavor of wooly mammoth. It’s… gamey. It requires a lot of chewing. I want noodles.

  • Julie

    You spent a little time last week with LIBRARIANS; that had to give you many, many negative examples in the fashion arena! Seriously, thank you so much for joining us. I had hoped to introduce myself, but had to fly out to present my own session. Not on fashion, of course. But one day, fashion for librarians, I promise!