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In Which We Break From the Feral, Pajama-ed, Maniacal Drafting

The black bottom ones are better, but any sugary port in a draft-induced profanity storm, I always say.

I was beginning to feel I would never leave my room… I have been contemplating exciting blog posts about my action packed days of sitting with a computer in my lap, but what’s to tell? All I do is type when it is going well, stare at the cursor and release strings of foul curses when I falter, and play Spider Solitaire when it goes Very Badly Indeed.

There were days when blogging recent events would have led to exciting posts like, “Who Farted? Cat or Dog?” or “What Can I Eat in Bed Next?” (Hint: Candy Corn is always an excellent bed safe food. Virtually crumless. And FAT FREE!!! So it can be deemed nutritious if you follow Romy and Michelle’s Become Hypoglycemic in Four Easy Steps Diet)

As I type this, I am in the beautiful Twin Cities, staring over my monitor at a hotel panoramic window that showing me a gorgeous view of what I suspect is the Mississippi River. I am upright and wearing actual pants, which is very exciting. I have gotten out only just in time. I was mere hours from circling the room on my knees, trying to decode the mysteries of the yellow wallpaper.

I am here for Opus and Olives which is going to be fantastic, I think, but nothing has happened yet except a plane ride in which an EXTREMELY cheerful boatload of people going on vacation taped each other with a Flip Phone as we boarded. Each person Flip Phoned would very earnestly say to the camera that they had JUST eaten a BOATLOAD of Mexican food (and I suspect washed it down with a tanker barge full of tequila) and then they would smile sly, drunketty smiles and express their pity for whoever was seated next to them. So really it was the airplane version of “Who Farted, Cat or Dog?” with burrito and margarita stuffed tourists playing the roll of the pack of worthless animals who loll on my bed while I type and cuss and play Spider Solitaire.

Since no Opusing or Oliving has happened yet, let’s do some Monday More Q! (You Thought I had forgotten, didn’t you?)

Kathy said, My question: Does Mr. Husband have a totally available twin brother????

No, Alas. When I was pregnant the first time, I DESPERATELY wanted a boy, because I strongly believed (and still do, actually) that the world needs more Scotts. They are so excellent and fine. But Sam surprised me. He LOOKS just like Scott, but of you were to prick his finger? Pure, red Jackson would well up. I wouldn’t change Sam for the world—he is perfectly himself—but I do wish there was a cloney machine so I could stick Scott in there and make a passel of him. Everyone should have one.

Trish asked, do you ever put secret messages in your writing (blog and books)? Some “thing” especially for Mr. Husband or your best girlfriend?


Psst. Between you and me? It MAY have happened. Once or twice. In gamer parlance, little hiddeny message shout outs are called Easter Eggs. I’ll tell you one…I have a friend I think should marry his girlfriend. Because she is super and loves him. So on the cars in Backseat Saints, one of the bits of graffiti is a proposal. “Marry me, Lia!” Guess what her name is? Right. So. Guess what else—-they are now engaged. HEE. Life imitates fiction, sometimes, not the other way around. Mazol Tov!

A plastic legged mystery wrapped in a woolly pink enigma

Bridget: Okay-Will you please finish the Pink Sock story?

Yes! Absolutely! Just as soon I put up the FAQ page I have been promising to make for…three years now? *grin* In other words NO, but not to be irascible, but REALLY because I forgot whatever it was that made me think it was worth telling. SOMETHING must have happened….I have no idea what at this point.

Dani: I know you’ve got a strong theatre background, and your books seem like they could be made into wonderful scripts. (I’ve actually used some passages in audition pieces and monologues before! And PS: My dream role would be Thalia!) …Do you have a favorite monologue?

Me: Yes. Sonja in Uncle Vanya, has two I adore. One about being in love with the doctor, and the women she hears talking about her. And of course the powerhouse one that closes the play. I say those lines ALL the time, about how we shall rest and see the whole sky all diamonds, when one of my girls is on deadline and despairing and asks if she is going to kill the book or the book is going to kill her. Or if I am despairing and one of my girls says to me she believes that I will kill the book instead of letting the book kill me. In those situations, I always say those lines and then we cackle like shrews and bend to the work. I have said those words a LOT—a LOT—recently. I say it because essentially it means “We will rest and be happy…WHEN ARE FREAKING DEAD.” It makes me laugh EVERY time to say that, because its So Chekhov and Russianly despairing and bleakly hilarious.

Dani again: And please answer Bridget’s question – if you everrrr remember the rest of the Pink Sock story, that’s something I’d love to hear, too!

Me: GAHHHHH Maybe I should repost the beginning of that story, and have a contest where people have to MAKE UP THE ENDING. With prizes! I will get right on that, when I get home and this book is done and as soon as I write the FAQ page…

No no, I think it is such a potentially FUN idea. I will try to remember to make it happen next week.

11 comments to In Which We Break From the Feral, Pajama-ed, Maniacal Drafting

  • Kitty

    Enjoy the Twin Cities!! You are a mere hour and a half away from me (closer if I drive the way I normally do). Wish I had known about that event, I might’ve actually attended. Although, it sounds like one of those kind of events where I’d be forced to put on fancy clothes (y’know, and dress like a girl) and that’s asking a lot. I do hope you come back to MN again sometime! We are having some fabulous unseasonably warm weather – you’re welcome.

  • Brian

    That could be the Mississippi… or the Minnesota… or the St. Croix, depending. See, we have three rivers here in case one goes dry.

    ‘Prolly a good think I didn’t know you were in town until now else I’d have called Sarah and we’d be forcing you to be going out and having fun. And who wants that?! Crazy talk! You betcha.

  • Kacie

    Where did that photo of those fabulous pink socks originate from? I’m thinking I may need to adopt a pair since they look super comfy. Please tell me it’s from a place they can be purchased.

  • jessica

    Wait, what?! You’re in Minnesota? How did I not know this in time to be down in the Cities to meet you? And why am I asking so many questions?

    I really wish we had known, because my husband and I would have been down there in a minute (well, really three hours, but still…)

  • Carrie

    Damn It. How did I not know you were going to be at Opus and Olives? I have been to that event other years and would have sogone again to see you even though it does indeed involve dressing up.

  • Brigitte

    If you ever DID remember the Pink Socks Story at this point, it would probably be so anticlimactic, so the made-up ones would probably be better than the real thing!

  • Peggy Spence Fry

    I saw a comic in the Sunday paper in which a cat (or cat-like personage) plays happily with his Little Pink Sock…. I thought this had gone viral and become a meme. (If indeed I understand even vaguely what a “meme” is…..)

  • Les in AZ

    Too bad that window was not overlooking the AMAZINGLY beautful Grand Canyon (hint hint) 🙂

    I’m with Brigitte on the Pink Socks Story. 🙂 Can’t wait!

  • Jennifer in NC

    Hope your transition from pajamas to actual pants was a smooth one! That can be a rude awakening sometimes (especially after eating lots of candy corn!!). I speak from personal experience of course…. hey, who shrunk my pants in the dryer????

  • I think that the pink sox story should stay an enigma. . .but that you should drop little pink droplets of sock lint on us every so often just to remind us of why we hang out here and love you so.

    I’m just glad you DID finish the “boobs stuck under the bed in Paris” story, ’cause that one could NOT have gone untold.

    Just sayin’.

  • DebR

    I think I should get some kind of early adopter prize because I made up my own version of the Pink Socks Story and sent it to you YEARS ago! 🙂