It is time! It is time! It is time for the virtual book tour! I will be all over the country in June, but if I am not coming to a bookstore near you, then first, ALAS! And second, this is how you can be a part of the launch of Backseat Saints ANYWAY, in spite of the stupid country being too dern big for me to get to all of it. At any moment, up to and including June 15th, 2010, you can press that button and preorder (via a secure server) a signed (and personalized, if that’s how you roll) first edition, first printing copy of Backseat Saints. Any moment at all. I will keep the button right here until June 15th, and we will count down and everything. But the best moment to presspresspress that button is right now, yes, now, indeed, this very moment. Here is why:
1) Excuse me for saying so, but it is a good book. If you liked my other books, then I REALLY think you will like it. If you have not read my other books, I am violently, disgustingly, shamelessly proud of this one, and I think it is a great place to start. Since I spent a couple of years of my life writing it, perhaps I should say I am not the only one who says it is good—Booklist just gave it a starred review, calling it “absorbing and rewarding,” and saying, “Rose’s salvation, when it comes, is positively breathtaking.”
2) If you like my books and want Hachette to publish more of them, then you’ll be supporting my writing in the best and most high impact way: By ordering a book in hardback for a sale that registers in Saint’s first weeks of release. That brief, key time decides a book’s fate, and each book’s fate decides the writer’s.
4) You’ll be supporting a truly amazing bookstore that I love, one that is a champion for all kinds of lesser known voices in AMAZING and committed ways, out of the sheer love of reading and good books. No one becomes a bookseller for the cars and the babes and the money. Handselling books is a labor of love. The Alabama Booksmith gang epitomizes that passion. These guys helped launch my career, and the careers of countless other new voices. The Booksmith is a part of Indie Bound, too, and if you have spent any time here you KNOW how fanatically I believe the Indies are worth supporting.
5) AH! But perhaps you don’t actually read novels. Maybe you mostly read non-fiction, like those fascinating warning pages that come with prescription medications that tell you you should eat this even though it may cause bloating or premature death. If you are here, then probably you like the blog and would like to support my writing, but perhaps my books are not your thing. THAT’S OKAY! I bet you know (and love) someone who DOES enjoy a good novel. Your parents or a sibling or a close friend or a teacher or your therapist or your karate instructor—a signed first ed of Backseat Saints is an excellent gift. You can even have me inscribe it in a Birthday or Anniversary or Christmas or other gift giving holiday appropriate manner. I do not care that it is June—I will write whatever you like in it.There is a box where you can tell me what to say, and I will obediently say it. Then the shopping for that person’s special is done, and tra la la you can prance off feeling happy, and I will, too.
6) If you do not read novels AND you live in a windowless, doorless cube slowly eating your mountainous stash of food pellets and shunning all human contact, and therefore you know no one who reads novels, you should STILL press the button. Because, good LORD, this book is So. Freakin. Gorgeous. The cover is a photo by the brilliant Cig Harvey. There is another equally gorgeous Cig Harvey shot on the back. It will brighten the cube up and make you happy. Or, if you do have human contact, just not with READERS, the book would make an excellent conversation piece. You can set it on your coffee table and talk about how you had to buy this one as a non-reading person who contains a soul and loves ART. (And, just between us, it will look hella better on your mantle than that ugly vase you have been flirting with at Target. Nodnodnod.)7) Because I could die at ANY second. I am sorry to play this card, but I am pulling out all the stops here. Recently, as you may recall, one of my formerly favorite internal organs tried to murder me. I have named that internal organ Mellisa, and we are all glad she is gone to burn eternally in a medical waste disposal facility. That said, my spleen (henceforth to be called Hortense) has been giving me the fish eye and could malevolently explode at any living second. Or one of my recalcitrant kidneys (Jilly and Lilly) could shoot up into my throat and asphyxiate me from the inside. With internal organs as mal-intentioned and crafty as mine, it could absolutely happen. And the second I am dead, you KNOW that signed first ed will sky rocket in value. Just think, you could then ebay it and buy yourself both the paperback edition and a faux-fur pimp coat!
Okay, that’s all I got. Really, after threatening one’s own death, there isn’t a lot of wiggle room for further convince-ification…I even LIED to you, OH THE SHAME, because that’s not an X-ray. That’s actually a cookie made by some genius I found on the internet named Jeannie. You should go look at all her amazing cookies (I like the beheaded guy), and forgive me for lying—just take it as a clear indication of how sincerely I think you should press the button.
Some of you, I know, prefer audio and e-book editions to old fashioned paper, and a lot of you have already pre-ordered in your chosen format, and THANKS! THANKS! YOU ARE SEXY BEASTS. If you want to do me a further solid you can tell OTHER people about this virtual book tour, though. You can facebook, tweet, or even old fashioned tell-with-your-mouth all your reading friends and relations about this. Would you? Please? I’ll let you eat the evil spleen cookie…