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This is NOT the Cabin Where I Will Be Murdered by Sex Cannibals

Greyowls cabin ajawaan lake

This is not the cabin where I will be murdered by sex cannibals.This is just a picture of a cabin by a lake that I found on Wikimedia Commons. However, it does look an awful lot LIKE the actual cabin where I will be murdered by sex cannibals. More on that in a minute.

First, I want to say that you guys are the best. THE BEST. That’s just a true fact of science.

Let me clarify, on the skunk thing. I am not SAD. I am not drooping. I am ridiculously blessed. My ears are still up and I am very…interested. Interested in the narrative.

But yeah, as lot of you pointed out, my kids are becoming fully realized adult humans, and they own a lot of the stories that are happening in my family now.

Also, I think my voice has changed because—well, I am in the second half. Things change in the second half. One key change is, people start dying. Not “shockingly dying way too young,” not dying in tragic accidents as anomalies and aberrations, but just dying in their due course. Dying as a regular part of The Big What Happens.

In the first half, it was all rushing about meadows, making babies, building careers, accumulating goods. It was a good part. This half is all about launching things, releasing things. This is a different part, but all the parts are good.

The main thing making me sad today is that I am going to die in a lakeside cabin, probably by Tuesday, which will make this a VERY short second half.

Lydia Netzer and I are going on writing retreat, and I chose a VERY VERY small, very very WELL RESEARCHED Alabama town.

I wanted to go to a place that had a population of less than 3,000, but more than a dozen churches. A real, small Alabama town, not near city center, not secretly a suburb. The small town south has changed from when I was growing up in the 80’s and 90’s. Back then, the “real” Possett felt like it was still in 1965. I just need to get the smell of it back in my nose for this book I am writing. I wonder mainly about what the internet has done. What parts will now be like 2014, homogenized, regular American, and what parts are Old South? There are some wonderful parts to the old south, and some absolutely horrifying parts. What’s still alive? I am going to find out.

I did a BUTT TON of research. I started with about twenty towns and narrowed down and narrowed down, and finally CHOSE one, picked a nearby rental and PAID for it. Non-refundable.
Then yesterday I stumbled across a MIND BOGGLING statistic, buried on an obscure website. This particular town? THE ONE I CHOSE? Has one of the highest PERCENTAGES of REGISTERED SEX OFFENDERS IN THE WORLD. The ratio is crazy. Practically every other person we see is BOUND to be a sex offender. And as Lydia pointed out—THOSE ARE JUST THE REGISTERED ONES. So.

My CHEERFUL theory is that there is a peaceful gentle hippie-dippie nudist colony nearby and a nudist-hating judge is in a war with them—kind of like FOOTLOOSE with wieners instead of dancing. My LESS CHEERFUL theory is that Lydia and I are going to a place populated wholly by murderous sex cannibals who specialize in The Dismemberment and Cooking of Ladies of a Certain Age.

I’ll let you know how it turns out, assuming I am not baked into some kind of Saucy 50 Shades of Casserole.

8 comments to This is NOT the Cabin Where I Will Be Murdered by Sex Cannibals

  • Klint Demetrio

    \o/ Yay statistics and logic! D: .. :/ 😀 I hope it does turn out to be mostly if not all a Footloose (the one with Bacon) kind of thing. Cuz that had a good beat. And anyhoo I hope it goes productively well with socio-geographic-amnesiac-laced bits of marvelous. 🙂 And if not.. both you and Lydia have been a blessing on this world both as people and writers, and I thank you both for that. <3 Stay safe and drive within the speed limit. 🙂

  • kathy

    Forewarned is forearmed or something right?? Take your crazy strange people precautions and you’ll be fine. (And that saying really doesn’t make much sense. You always have your forearms right? And what use are they in an emergency against the basic crazy sociopath? Unless you are fourarmed which might be handy… Aaaanyhoo, shutting up now.)

  • I have faith. Faith in the people of that small town. Faith that they won’t rise up and sex-cannibalize you one night in your cabin. Faith that even the registered sex offenders are in a non-offending phase at the moment. Faith that the nudists are friendly and will invite you over for a clothing-optional dance.

    And faith that your wonderful blogging voice will continue to evolve as life evolves. I totally get you on this second-half-of-life thing; my own online writing has changed a lot as my kids have become young adults and I feel less free to post about how cute and funny they are online (they are still VERY cute and funny, but much more concerned about privacy). AND THE DEATH THING!!! You are so right! What is with that????

    But I hope you never give up blogging, even if the voice and subject matter evolve a bit. I was on a panel about writers and social media for a conference last year and I pointed out that for most writers, a social media presence is mainly useful for people who have already read and loved their books and want to hear more, and that it’s rare that anyone will find a writer’s blog first and THEN want to read their book. But then I had to tell everyone that Joshilyn Jackson is one of the exceptions to that rule, and that I’ve read all your books but it was your blog I fell in love with first.

  • Debra

    Certainly as I hail from a small town in Alabama much like you describe I can most assuredly ascertain that the majority of those sex offenders are probably teenage boys who dared to unbutton more than the top two buttons on the blouse of Momma’s precious little flower at the high school prom. Once on the list always on the list.

  • Brigitte

    Strains of “Deliverance” banjos dancing in my head . . .

  • Shirley

    You are in my top 5 all time favorite authors list, and now…I have discovered we may be kindred spirits! I have had this exact photo on my writing laptop, like, forever!! *delighted squeal”. Who knew?

    No matter the location, keep writing. PLEASE keep writing! Book and blog!

  • Jessica (the celt)

    I can’t even begin to describe the mental images of sex cannibals, so I’m going to leave that to everyone else’s imagination. Where do you even find per capita sex offender statistics? I know you can see the offenders and where they are (supposedly) currently living in some states on the actual register, which is publicly available, but I’ve never looked for the per capita information. Huh.

    TrudyJ is correct, by the way. I discovered your blog and your personal voice before I read your books, and I dove headfirst into your book and was ever so glad I discovered you all of those years ago with each subsequent book. You rock my pink-less socks.

  • Aubrey

    “kind of like FOOTLOOSE with wieners instead of dancing”.

    That may be my very favorite sentence ever and is the reason I beg you to keep writing this blog.