UPDATE: I just found out that SOMEONE ELSE’S LOVE STORY is the NOOK FIND. which means that TODAY only, it is 1.99 on Nook. Update 2—I just heard Amazon is price matching that.
SO Atlanta schools shut down for two days because…it was cold. *blink.*
It was gorgeous and sunny, and the sky was blue and the clouds were puffy white. It looked like JUNE out there. It was a little disconcerting, therefore, when I took the dogs out to pee and made the mistake of inhaling. The air BIT my lungs when I tried to breathe it.
IT WAS REALLY SUPER COLD, ya’ll.
And I say this as a person who did 6 or 7 Chicago winters and taught in Vermont in January. I know from cold.
You have never seen dogs pee so fast. Had we been at the Olympic Speed Pee Team tryouts, there would have been a couple of true contenders from the great state of Georgia. Meanwhile, they were staring at me with terrified eyeballs, and I could HEAR them thinking, Please do not leave us out here in the tundra! WE WILL DIE WE WILL DIE!
They spent the rest of the day in a heap on the dog futon, swearing up and down that they could hold it when I asked if they wanted to maybe pee again. They NEVER needed to pee again, thanks. They were all done peeing. Forever. I asked, Maybe in spring? After a brief confab, they allowed that they might pee again in spring.
So our schools closed. MAN, we got a lot of Yankee mockery and push back on the Facebook. Yes, yes, North-of-Mason-Dixoners, I know ya’ll walked backward in the snow up hill both ways twenty miles in air so cold it makes our current air look like the sulfurous, parboiled breath of the steaming devil himself. I am sure that as a school child you REGULARLY had to gut your tauntaun and wait for the bus tucked inside his steaming abdominal cavity.
You know what else? You own gloves.
My kids do not own gloves. Each owns a winter coat, true — DIGRESSION: I might as well have BURNED the cash I laid out on those coats. The kids would have gotten more cumulative warmth toasting marshmallows by the heat of that small green bonfire then they have gotten from the coats. Because in order to get warmth from a coat you have to PUT IT ON YOUR BODY.
Honestly. Ever tried to wrap a strong-willed cat in a towel to give it a pill it does not wish to be given? Getting a southern tween or worse, a full-on MALE teenager to put on a winter coat is the spiritual equivalent. *end digression*
But my kids HAVE winter coats. A lot of Atlanta kids do not have actual puffy, wind resistant, thermally responsible, good coats. They make do with hoodies or windbreakers, because a for true coat is pretty dern expensive considering the amount of wear they are likely to get out of it. SO, yeah, we closed the schools.FINE. GOOD CALL OR WHATEVER, but after this long long long long holiday I was REALLY counting on getting back to REAL WORK which is very hard to do with a LOUD and SEEMINGLY endless free ranging argument going audibly on and on all over the house about whether Charlie IS so cool like or NOT so cool like and who was the best Doctor Who and if a “cheat code” is actually a cheat if the game developers put it in ON PURPOSE and PS KIDS IT WAS CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON, DERRR.
Although you could absolutely make a case for Tom Baker.
Anyway, we decided 100% of the children of Atlanta would go uneducated to be extra sure 1% didn’t lose some fingers to frostbite.
CLEARLY NO ONE TOLD THE ADMINISTRATION I NEEDED IT TO BE QUIET SO I COULD DO SOME _)@*!^@#^()@&_) WRITING.
How is YOUR week going?