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Q and A

Q: Who won the audiobooks already, you tardy slag?

A: See the image for numbers, and the winners ( Jess of the formerly blue hair, Margi Borck, Jerri Hernandez, Terri, and Deonna so NOT a stalker) will be emailed.

Q: Why did you roll for 81 when there are only 80 comments now?

A) There were 81. One was SPAM, and I removed it, because it was left by a guy named CANANDIAN FARMACY HUGE WANG FOR LE$$. Not that he won but I felt he was insincere in his desire for an audiobook. I wish I had noticed Mr. Wang BEFORE I rolled, but since I did not, it seemed wronger to reroll than to go with the numbers I got the first time. If you think I made the wrong call, you may complain to the management. Be warned: The management is Schubert.

Q: How do you know when your SPAM has reached critical mass?

A: Well, last week I almost deleted a blog interview request unread because it the title was “Blog Schlog.” My HUGE WANG FOR LE$$ Spam infested eyes read it as “Big Schlong.” *sigh*

Q: What do you do when your AVATAR on PROJECT RUNWAY gets her silly self AUF’ed in the first three weeks and Lydia and Karen have already sucked um the PRIME avatars (MONDO and VALERIE, respectively)?
A: Pick to be Gretchen, except rename her Gretched. Because it is more fun to SAY Gretched, and ALSO because you firmly believe Gretched got your avatar auf’ed in the first place by coming over and telling her to paint all the leaves blue when Tim Gunn (and you) were already SOLIDLY behind her color palette. Also, you can SECRETLY hope she will come BACK, ala Chris March, because Ivy is a FAINTER and may have to leave the show and they always bring the last one auf’ed back. RIGHT? RIGHT, HEIDI??? I CAN HAS SARAH?

I would feel bad for Ivy if she has to leave for fainting related reasons, except 1) she referred to herself in the third person in ep 1, and 2) she made pants out of pants. I have still not forgiven her.

Also, on what PLANET do we lose SARAH and still have Casanova allowed to stamp about vomiting up butt ruffles and nudie scarf dresses with mad abandon?

Q: You seem really stompy aroundy and grumpy today. Is this really about Pro-Ro? I know you are trying to draft chapter 10. How is that coming?

A: Shut up. NEXT QUESTION.

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Oh, it’s a really special and unique number. I doubt you’ve ever heard of it.

Q: Say a made up word that you wish you had made up.

A: That’s not a question.

A: CAN YOU say a made up word that you wish you had made up, you snotbucket?

A: Puddenpadded. It’s such a great word because it is exactly what it sounds like it is. I want to name a cat that word.

Q: Okay. That’s pretty great. Who made that up?

A: James Joyce. If I show you a picture of Sara meeting one of the stars of the movie version of Water for Elephants, will you stop asking me stuff and let me go SULK MORE over the EXTREME CRAPULANCE I am experiencing as I try to draft Chapter 10? Yes? Awesome. Thank you.

10 comments to Q and A

  • Puddenpadded sounds like my waist. Alas.

    That is an awesome picture. I would love to get picked up by an elephant. How does Sara feel about the sparkly vampire being cast in her movie?

  • Terri

    Oooohhhhh! Did I hallucinate my name in the winners list? Hard to tell since everyone else had a last name or something else attached to their name, and clearly I only need one name. 🙂 But if I DID win, this would SO make my week! And, it would make a wonderful belated Anniverary gift for my best beloved since he loves audiobooks.

  • Ruth

    LOVE the hipster joke. Am stealing it to tell at the local hipster-infested coffeehouse.

  • Jo

    My favorite made up word came in an email at work, so no one to credit it to. But I did add a definition and am ready for it to sweep the nation.

    Bumfuzzled: Definition, I am so confused, my but hurts.

  • I am ashamed to admit it, but I just finished “Backseat Saints.” (I ashamed because I just NOW finished, not ashamed to have finished.) I got it all signed and lovely from you back in June, but it’s been a crazy, busy summer, and I wanted to wait until I could read it without having to say, “Would you please leave Mommy alone and go make your own breakfast!?! I AM TRYING TO READ HERE!”

    Lucky for me I got to go to Northern CA with my husband for a few days. I read on the plane and then finished today while he worked. It was lovely, and I’m so glad I waited until I could enjoy every word and not rush. You’ve outdone yourself, again. Now while I’m out here, I might just have to take a stroll through Berkeley to see the crazies who haven’t yet marched themselves into the sea…

  • So. . .that is SUCH an awesome photo. Love the elephant. . .love the trains in the back. . .love the hills. . .love the sky. . .and she is one BRAVE lady as she looks like she is about to be ingested as a snack.

  • buffi

    The very best quote ever on ProRo was this week from Michael Kors (of course) when he said of Casanova’s dress “She looks like a transvestite flamenco dancer going to a funeral.” I really think you should write a book based on that premise alone. Just imagine the possibilities. ENDLESS.

    Also, I love the name “Gretched” because she is already on my last nerve. I adore you, Joss.

  • I suggest you have a look at these dogs! They’re crazy! Go here: Funny Dog

  • L.K.

    I now want desperately to be lifted by a gentle elephant … my trusting head inches from his maw …

    And Gretched the Knowitall is giving Portland a bad name.

  • Aimee

    Heh… Gretched. I’m totally calling her that from now on.

    Love that picture!