Remember when I was sick? Not me. Not much. It is kind of a mucus-y, eye-juice coated blurry-lensed blur of blurredness, as if I lived 3 days filmed through cheesecloth. During that time, I flat did not show up for a book event, which is not like me. So I went back Thursday to make up the event and I brought an apology cookie with little birds on it for the Staff and any readers who came back. Here is the cookie — it says SORRY I SUCK. And yeah, I think it is important to take responsibility for ones bigger screw ups and apologize, but the truth is, you should probably supply sugary carbs if you REALLY mean it.
ALSO I got the BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT maybe EVER from William Morrow, my publishing house. It is SO SO SO COOL. I can’t hardly stand it. It is my book, bound in LEATHER with gold leafletty pages, like what books USED to look like when they were all lovingly crafted by elves or whatever they did before mass production. HOW COOL IS THIS?
I love to get presents. I KNOW THIS IS NOT WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT OR WHATEVER But I love them. Doesn;t have to be anythign expensive—and I have a SMALL HOUSE so I really like little luxury consumables I won’t buy myself—like luxe lotions or lipsticks or Nail Polish and plush socks or delicious toffee enrobed in dark chocolate. I love to rend paper and SEE WHAT IS IN THERE. I got some awesome presents from YOU guys on tour, including quilted cosies and pink airplane socks and a creativity spell jar and some very KIND handwritten notes and wine and a stress cat, which is a little stuffed cat whose head has been velcroed on with GORY RED VELCRO. You can RIP HIS HEAD OFF and FLING it if you need to.
I kinda need to. Often.
My fellow Christmas celebrators, let me ask you, What are you hoping to find in YOUR stocking? And have you been nice or naughty?