The other week, the weather turned here in Georgia. It made the worms, turn, too.
Scott and I decided to take the dogs out and found ourselves walking into a worm-abattoir of horror. The cool rainy October night before had fooled a bunch of earthworms into meandering out onto the asphalt and sidewalk and the gravel driveways. Come morning, they had all baked and died.
It was just awful. Literally thousands upon thousands of suicided earthworms, each in a squirmful rictus, each making its own singular, unhappy, final shape. For the first ten minutes I stopped to peel up all the alivish ones and toss them back onto damp grass, but eventually I gave up. There were too many, and some of the ones that looked alivish turned out to be decidedly dead, which, ugh.
Scott: So that’s your line for gross, huh? Mostly dead earthworms, not too gross. Fully dead?
Me: Too gross.
Gross, and such a waste, on every level. Decatur is a town rife with birdhouses. Our full-bellied spoiled birds wouldn’t even EAT them to give their deaths purpose.
Me: Look at this guy. He is just like the letter J. He died in perfect J shape.
Scott: How nice for him.
Me: Look, this one is an S, and this one is almost a number 4! Maybe it isn’t pointless! Maybe they are trying to tell us something!
Scott: … I think they were just writhing.
Me: Maybe the left the grass to try and be something other than worms!
Scott: Like what? Dead worms?
Me: No, more like…a font. SCOTT! THEY ARE TRYING TO BE A FONT!
I handed Ansley’s leash to him and started creeping around with my phone camera, hunting all the letters of my name in worm font, and once I had done that, trying to get the rest of the alphabet. Scott made helpful suggestions about the kinds of medications I might need, and both dogs flopped down and dozed in the street. Eventually he resigned himself and got into it.
Scott: Okay, say you find the whole alphabet. What do you think they would spell out, all these earthworms who are literally dying to be font? What could they possibly want to say to us?
Baby, I have your answer: