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Gangnam-Good Intentions

SO. I owed you a dance. Yes? If you check your yellowed dance card from 20 years ago, you might see my name is there, by Gangnam.

I had such good intentions! I got deep into the campaign for Good Reads, and my friend Alison came up with the video idea. I said no, even though it was a bril idea, because I had lost my flip phone fpor several years in a row, and when I found it, it wouldn’t hold a charge. PLUS flip ohones are no longer made, and the software to edit flip phone footage was on the computer that melted.

I tried to make a rueful face while showing you my eye make-up and my blow-out, but I just look like One Angry Lady. Still, nice job Kriss at GROW, DECATUR did on the HAIR, eh???

But Alison is a MAC chick, and she said she could help. She has an iPad and all that sweet MAC simple-monkey video editing app stuff that even I could probably learn to work. It sounded fun, in a I-will-definitely-break-my-neck-and-die way, so I said OKAY! LET’S DO THIS THAAAANG.

Then… Dad got sick, and I just couldn’t care. You know how it is. When one of the little core folks in the clot of humans you love most on this blue ball is threatened, EVERYTHING goes to the roadside, and you do what has to be done.

But now, Dad is truly, finally on the real mend, and I am trying to catch up.

MY INTENTIONS??? SO GOOD!

Did you see me finish the pink sock’ed organizing essay series? I did that, and YESTERDAY, I had a date to shoot all the footage with Alison. I had an amusing-ish scriptlike outline of what scenes had to be shot, and I was TOTALLY COMMITTED to committing dance-crime, even though I had NO DOUBT it would end with me breaking something and going to the emergency room.

Since I was likely to die during the attempt, I wanted to leave a chic corpse. We went and got my hair cut and blown out, and I put on REALLY a lot of eye-make-up.

We went upstairs for wardrobe. We decided against the etsy-bought mini-skirt, and instead picked black skinny jeans, boots, black tank, and a whacked out quasi-trench coat thing I ordered off THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK for this exact occasion.

I went the bathroom to change so I could attempt the dance and break something, and Alison went to get the camera. On the way, Alison…fell down my stairs and broke her foot.

WE ALL WERE SO SURE IT WOULD BE ME!

I iced her swelling foot and fed her Motrin (did you know it is an anti-inflammatory?) I wanted to take her to the hospital, but Alison wasn’t having it.

Alison: Maisy will be home soon. You have to be here—I will just go home.

Me: You can’t even drive yourself home!

Her: It isn’t my DRIVING foot.

Me: *heavy sarcasm* Oh, well if it isn’t your DRIVING foot.

Her: It’s my left foot.

Me; Okay, Daniel Day Lewis. We are going to the hospital.

Her: HA! Shut up. I don’t WANT to go to the emergency room.

Me: No one does. You catch diseases there. Is there a doc in the box we could go to?

Her: No. I’m going to go home. *She stands up and a few tears spurt out of her eyes.*

Me: UH that is TERRIBLE! Pain scale one to ten?

Her: Seven

Me: You need an X-Ray! You can’t go home with a pain scale of seven. It may even be an eight—you JUST CRIED TEARS.

Her: No, that was because you mentioned Daniel Day Lewis…and that was such a sad movie.

That made me laugh. She DID agree to go to a doc in the box, eventually, though the independent little cuss drove herself. The Doc said she borked up her ankle pretty good, and sent her home with crutches and a fist full of vicodin.

MOSTLY I feel sorry for Alison, but I am starting to feel like the UNIVERSE is protecting itself, breaking the bodies of people I love to STOP from this dance from happening. Should I try again, I kinda expect an alien attack, or for the sun to explode.

18 comments to Gangnam-Good Intentions

  • Oh no! On the other hand, your hair looks awesome.

  • The road to an exploding sun is paved with good intentions. (Does that even make sense?) I’d really love to see this dance, and it WOULD be a good excuse for another sexy hair blowout, but I just don’t want anyone to get hurt. Dance slowly.

  • Brian

    I’ll just hold on to this dance card. I can wait. 🙂

  • Dude. You’re depriving your fans of the G style, Joshilyn-style. On the other foot, the Universe does seem to be smacking you upside the hairdo. Yeah. Better listen to the Universe. It’s bigger than we are.

  • Fran

    Can you just repost the original Gangam style video with your head superimposed? I bet that’s copyright infringement in a big way, but it would still work for me.

    I hope Alison recuperates well, and you look totally sassy and stylin’ with that hair and makeup!

  • My cousin, God rest his dumb-hick soul, once shot himself in the foot at an illegal firing range and had to drive hisself to the doctor because everyone else there jumped in their trucks and peeled out. So you know, it could be worse.

  • Elizabeth

    So… maybe if you make it your intent to do the dance in slow motion, then speed it up, the universe will sense the decreased danger, and allow you and the rest of your world safe passage.

    PS Nice hair!!!

  • Brigitte

    Ha, Rachel, that’s too funny (ya know, now that the injury’s healed and all).

    I second Fran’s idea, and do it now while the awesome hair is still fresh!

  • There are worse things than invoking Daniel Day Lewis whilst attempting to film. I say persist. But you know that video where you were going to try to juggle knives and swallow swords? Take that off the menu.

  • So sorry about our friends ankle. Those HURT. ut ou hair looks awesome. Dance or dont dance–just don’t die. Or bork your own ankle out of sympathy.

  • So sorry about our friends ankle. Those HURT. ut ou hair looks awesome. Dance or don’t dance–just don’t die. Or bork your own ankle out of sympathy.

  • Jessica (the celt)

    Oh, ouch. As my grandma used to say, “You can win fer losin’.” I think it’s apt, and this isn’t the first time this week that I’ve used it — nor the first time this month, and that’s saying something, as the month just started.

    I hope Alison makes a quick recovery, but if you talk about doing the video again and someone else gets hurt, just stop attempting it, okay? We understand that there is apparently some bad ju-ju between you and the dancing. I’d rather have you and everyone around you healthy and whole. ;~)

    Very stern librarian look going on in that pic, though. As I’m currently working toward my MLIS, I approve. 😀

  • Jessica (the celt)

    Er, rather, my grandma said, “You CAN’T win fer losin’.” There is definitely a difference there.

  • Leslie Noon

    You look so good in the picture that I almost can’t remember that someone got hurt. Oh, wait, Alison. Yes. I do feel for poor Alison. But I bet she is still on board for that filming. Would you deprive her of the fun of filming and editing after she has already taken one for the team? Of course not! Beware the gangnam-style pink sock!

  • Martha Witt

    Sandy (this is just a wild guess) is a tress artisan?

  • I say you get a pass. Of course, that could be because I think there’s footage of me dancing a celebratory Gangnam Style out there somewhere. Lord willing, it’s lost in the ether.

  • Jennifer G

    Oh, poor Alison! My sister works in an ER and sometimes uses the “zero” to “knelt on a LEGO” pain scale.

    Seriously, GREAT hair. I applaud your intentions, but maybe you need to pink sock this one.

  • edj

    You are making this up! No way she fell down your stairs and broke her ankle! Are you serious???

    Also your hair looks awesome.