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Flash

TOMORROW the paperback of A GROWN-UP KIND OF PRETTY officially launches, and I will be DOING THINGS all over the web and even in the world to help remind people who like my books to go and buy copies and throw them from floats to booklovers who will no doubt line the streets of New Orleans in GROWN-UP celebration, hoping to get something nicer than beads.

Erm. Did I just imply that buying my books will make people show you their boobs? I kinda did. Perhaps I am looking for a larger male readership? RIMSHOT!

No, no! GO buy the book. Do not be afraid. Very few booksellers will show you their boobs if you do, I can almost promise. Probably. Booksellers can be a pretty wild crowd, so I can’t say for certain. You might get boobed. *shrug*

You can always order online, you know. Although, from what I hear, the internet is RIFE with boobs…

STOPSTOPSTOP.

Blerg, I am not sure HOW we got here? It was just I got wound around in a veritable yarn ball of an extended metaphor. That thing looped and swooped like intestines and ALSO like intestines it got a little poo-filled and then it TURNED on me. Like a worm.

I KNOW WHY THIS IS HAPPENING. I am currently revising the chapters in SOMEONE ELSE’S LOVE STORY that are narrated by William, who seldom if EVER indulges in figurative language. William is a SCIENTIST, and he does not do the verbal McFlorals, THANKS MUCH.

Writing him, I have apparently a built up a HUGE BACKLOG of personified, pushy similes, all jostling and stamping on each other’s insteps in their Laboutins, trying to get onto the blog in these terrible ways that involve worms and poop and boobs and…yarn.

Imma try to reign it in.

Todays GROWN-UP link is to a fun PODCAST I did with Alison Law from Southern Spines, and she is a friend of mine. We may have gotten slightly rowdy. Come have a listen as you do the dishes or while you are supposed to be working. *angelic smile*

6 comments to Flash

  • Having an Asperger’s child, “Not literally” is a phrase used often in my household.

  • I think I might flash a boob for a JJ book. Just sayin’.

  • I’m with Sandy, and also OMG I NEED THOSE SHOES IN MY CLOSET SO BAD.

  • I, too, have an Aspie in my household but instead of saying “not literally” to him, he will say, “you are just being sarcastic” or “you are just joking” before he attempts to explain the joke. Such good fun!

    Also? I love you, Mrs. Jackson. Rabidly.

    Also, also? Thunder.

  • The intestines filled with poop just about lost me, but not as badly as my husband and son wanting to watch an episode of “Dirty Jobs” where Mike Rowe (yum) kept saying “frozen cod sperm.” I need to go back and add that to your big list of awful word phrases, because it turns my stomach just to think it. Your mental illness number is SO LONG that it reached me WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY over her in Texas and poinked at me until I actually typed what Mike Rowe (yum) SAID. I made them watch something else. It was “Hogs Gone Wild” but that was better than the alternative. I really, really like your book and am so ready for the next.

  • BTW, what’s up with the new feline? Is there a story coming soon to a blog near us?