Here is the crappy thing about having insomnia: You have a twenty hour day, so you are generally much tired-er than people who sleep.
Here is the SUPER thing about insomnia: YOU HAVE A TWENTY HOUR DAY.
So you are a little DROWSY, so WHAT. Do you KNOW how much you can get DONE in a twenty hour day? SO FREAKIN’ MUCH.
In a twenty hour day, you can bring home bacon, cook it, feed some of it to your kids, eat some of it, go to yoga in a fruitless attempt to keep the bacon off your buttocks, take the kids to their various kid-tivities, blog, make out with your husband, make out with the dogs, reread WISE BLOOD, read Lainey Gossip, feel guilty for reading Lainey Gossip, check in with your friends, do a book club call, suit up and kill the alive mold threatening to become sentient in the upstairs toilet, and still, you know, WRITE A FREAKING BOOK.
All hail the twenty hour day. I like it best when I fall asleep around 11 or 11 and a half, and then am awake before 4 am and downstairs writing in the quiet, quiet dark with the dogs asleep behind me on the futon, kids and husbands tucked up clean and also sleeping in their beds.
All those quiet heartbeats going along safe inside the sleeping bodies of everyone that I love best of all. No one awake but me and Boggart, me drinking coffee, and both of us plotting. I plot novels, he plots the destruction of the earth and all its denizens. To each their own.
This is AWESOME-nia.
But for the last 2 nights I am having instead a STUPID impossible kind of insomnia that does NO ONE ANY GOOD.
I am waking up for spans of 1 or 2 fitful grumpy hours IN THE MIDDLE. I need my 3 – 5 hours to happen ALL AT ONCE. Sleeping my four hours in one hour chunks with an hour of being grumpily awake between each hour means it takes as MUCH TIME as SLEEPING for eight hours would take, but without, you know, the actual #&_@&*_$&$ing sleeping.
The scattered night hours I am awake are not PRODUCTIVE. I can’t take my daughter to Junior Yoga at midnight. I can’t write from 1:30 to 2:25. And I am as drowsy all day as if I had gotten up at 4 and BEEN USEFUL.
THIS IS A DUMB KIND OF INSOMNIA THAT NO ONE LIKES. How can this be STOPPED?