We SO TOTALLY OWN this now! And by “SO TOTALLY OWN” I mean, “We own 37.5% of it.”
The rest a bank owns and we have to hurl large scoops of money toward them at regular intervals for about thirty years, and THEN we will even more totally own it except for property taxes which we have to pay forever or lose the place, so technically I should have said, EVENTUALLY WE WILL BEEN IN AN OWNERSHIP LIKE RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS HOUSE. But whatever.
The upshot is as follows: YAY.
We don’t take possession until tomorrow, but the sellers gave us the keys at the closing ANYWAY because, 1) they are very nice and 2) as Mr. Seller said, “It doesn’t feel like a closing without keys.”
Me, last night, after ONE glass of wine, but okay, to be fair, it was a generous pour: We should drive over and sneak inside all quiet like and then leap their bed and spray them with shaving cream and yell PANTY RAID!!!!! It will be like a nice DÉJÀ VU! From when they went to sleep away camp in 6th Grade.
Me: But then we could—
Scott: No, no. No.
SO! I am SORRY Mr and Mrs Seller, while you have wisely given your delightful house to ONE person who wants only to make a fun surprise for you, you have also deeded it over to one pooper, of the party variety.
On the upside, no one got shot.
I am extremely pleased with MBMC. You may keep your STD addled hookers and your crashable red sports cars and your face lifts that make you look CONSTANTLY like you have just been ever so slightly surprised. This is the best mid-life crisis EVER.
DISCLAIMER: I meant YOU in the general, Beloveds, not the YOU-yous, my most especially pet beloved and SPECIFIC yous. I am quite certain that the typical best Best Beloved, when mid-life-crisising, does not go after even the CLEANEST hookers.
Perhaps you buy ORANGE sports cars, because that would be awesome.Perhaps a few of you have daringly taken a few fat cells from your backside and moved it front and center, injecting it directly into your lips, not because you NEED it, particularly, but because it makes you so happy to Europe-kiss your most viperous enemies on their cool and powdered cheeks and feel that they have, in some small way, been kissed by your butt.
I don’t know, but I DO feel YOUR personal and specific mid-life crises are > the average bears clichéd old tired things. If you had a good one, SHARE IT. And if you have not yet reached your mid-point, what do you have in the works? It’s better to PLAN these things, I think and a truly AWESOME midlife crisis. Share ideas.
PS The comments have been so AWESOME recently I should start doing a COMMENT OF THE DAY thing. I am checkign every ten minutes on my phone to see the new ones and then cackling in public like a LOON. If you aren’t reading them….you should.