All will win copies of WEDDING CAKE FOR BREAKFAST. It is an anthology. I am in it. Inside, I may or may not be waxing romantical about how I snagged the most excellent Mr. Husband in my husband trap and made him be my very own FOREVERRRRRRRRRR.
I am trying to figure out the RULES OF THE GAME, so it will be tomorrow. I love games though.
As a kid I always wanted to go on TIC TAC DOUGH with WINK MARTINDALE.
Also, I want to see the word Vivisectionalsofa as an answer for BEFORE AND AFTER on Wheel of Fortune. No one would get it. Except me. I would go on Wheel of Fortune and I would WIN that one because no one else would guess Vivisectionalsofa and I would.
Possiby because I made the word up.
Maybe not, because there is a company in New York City that exists to vivisect sofas, true facts. Because of all the walk ups, and people not being able to get the sofas up them.This company will CUT YOUR $30,000 sofa into HUNKS and then reassemble it in your new apartment
DIGRESSION: Yes, I think about 30K is what a low end crappy kind of sofa costs in Manhattan, since one time I got a coffee there and it was EIGHT FREAKIN DOLLARS. Not a latte, even. A COFFEE. That’s more than a coffee costs at the MOVIES. SO if we apply MOVIE POPCORN prices to SOFA COSTS, then a 30K sofa is just math + logic, and THAT = win. I rest my case.
I have always wanted to be on WHEEL OF FORTUNE, or really ANY game how, but I am so competitive I think it would be ugly. It being me. So ugly.
I think I would show my butt on TV. Not my REAL butt —-I don’t want to be a contestant on GAME OF THRONES, which is not actually a game, in spite of title, and which hardly needs my ancient naked butt running across it as it already easily fills its 50 naked butts per episode quota by having whole crowds of 19 year old butt models dash in and out of Peter Dinklage’s tent, pretending to be prostitutes.
I mean I would show my Spiritual Butt. (Showing your butt was what my Grandmother used to say to mean someone had behaved in awful ways in a VERY public setting.) MY WHOLE POINT BEING:
I am not pleasant to play games with, she said prepositional-ending-with-ly.
HI I AM MOVING IN LESS THAN THREE WEEKS. I AM INSANE WITH HOPE AND TERROR.Change, even good change, is stressful. My head might pop off before we complete this move. *beaming good natured cheery smile*
SO TOMORROW we will play a game and you will have 4 ways to enter, and 2 ways to win, and in this case the 4 + 2 will = 3 winners, because I was an English major. I am about to go make myself a salad and use valium in lieu of croutons, because I am trying not eat carbs and valium is emphatically not a carb. See? VIRTUE!
Any less pharmaceutically drastic moving survival tips????