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Three Good Reasons Not to Walk into the Sun Like a Sun Lemming

Not that I was planning to. Really. But you know, some days you think, “Well if I DID walk in the sun like a sun lemming, at least I wouldn’t have to clean up this enthusiastic spray of dog sick I have just discovered in my guest room.”

One: My book is sitting by Stephen King’s book on the bus. THEY MIGHT SHARE LUNCH. THEY MIGHT MAKE OUT.

Translation: A Grown-Up Kind of Pretty has made the Audible All-Stars List. This is a list of Audible’s highest rated listens for the last three months.

As Maisy Jane says, Super-Teh-Coolz. (The slang of nine year olds. SO. Freakin. Weird.) I love getting to read my own audio books, and stuff like this helps it keep happening.

I am going to shoot 2 fingers of bourbon (I can’t actually shoot two of the cupcakes we are going to reverently discuss in just a moment because it is LENT…) and then climb up on top of the roof and yell THANK YOU to all the people who listened to the audio, liked it, and took the time to say so on the interwebz.

It. Matters. Word of mouth MATTERS. I am not sure much else does!

But the sun-lemmign bit is how secretly tickled in the giblets I am to be on same list as Stephen King. There are little King shout outs in most of my novels. I fell in love with Salem’s Lot and the Stand when I was a kid, and he has had me in his reader-pocket every since.

Two: Known Smartipants and Talented Novelist Sarah McCoy discovered that a The Shoppe Bakery in Denver invented Cocktail cupcakes in honor of Saint Patrick’s Day.

Now all I have to do is grab my cupcake-n-cocktail obsessed friend Karen Abbott and GET TO COLORADO…

Three: All those week, I am in the studio reading the audio version of a book I did not write.

It is Lydia’s book.


It’s an amazing and ambitious tale about robots, true love, motherhood, and what it means to be human.

So, for my fellow Sun Lemming Wannabes, you best of all possible best beloveds who have woken to find your own metaphorical spray of dog sick splashed across the guest room of your life, a question:

What are YOUR silly, or small, or personal, or dear, or secret reasons for staying uncrispyfied? NO CLAIMING “THE LOVE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN” or “MY FAITH IN THE MAN’S ESSENTIAL GOODNESS.” Let’s just put those huge ones up as gimmes. Share please…. Quite frankly, I could use a few more reasons.

32 comments to Three Good Reasons Not to Walk into the Sun Like a Sun Lemming

  • I stay uncripified because I don’t like the heat. I’d follow the lemmings part way, then they would become annoyed at my constant whining and complaining about the heat, the sweat and the heat rash, and they would ship me back to the air conditioning.

  • Sarah Y.

    Wine and good books. That’s all I can think of right now.

  • The dogs always need to be walked. Or let out. Or let in. Or let out. Or let in. Or let…

    By the way, I enjoyed the heck out of A Grown-up Kind of Pretty. Thank you for writing it.

  • Shelley S

    Inertia? Responsibility. The desire to see the remodel finally finished. See what cool gift my sister has reportedly gotten me for my birthday. The next Joshilyn Jackson novel…

  • Aimee

    I am uncrispified because:

    My black cat comes to me when I’m sitting down reading at night and curls on my lap and purrs vigorously and drools on my leg.

    I saw a Cuban zombie movie Saturday night, Juan de los Muertos, and the zombies in the movie were called dissidents. Dissidents! How do you not love that?

    Sockeye salmon. So good.

  • Aimee

    Ooh, and one more — it’s only 4 days, 12 hours and 16 minutes until the West Coast premier of Mad Men.

  • Julie

    I am learning all about Mental Illness Numbers! Despite my self, my first book of poems printed today. http://furniturepressbooks.com/chaps/fisherskittering/

    um. and I have that same dog that wants in, now out. now in. now out.

    and my dust bunnies have fangs now

  • If I went, it would deprive my father of the joy of repeating, at length and with many embellishments, the story of the time I (ACCIDENTALLY) backed over him with my car, breaking both his hip and right leg.

    If I went, who would remind my son that a proper shower involves an ample amount of soap and shampoo lathering and NOT just lying prone on the tub bottom for the exact length of time required to empty the hot water tank?

    If I went, I’d never live to see the day that my middle-aged, MBA-holding husband learns to put the toilet paper roll onto the spindle. I have the utmost faith that he can and will accomplish this goal someday, somehow. THAT I cannot miss!

    If I went, who would explain to my future grandchildren the pure, unadulterated disgust they should reserve for pulpy orange juice? DRINKS SHOULD NOT REQUIRE CHEWING! IF I WANTED AN ORANGE, I’D EAT AN ORANGE!


  • Chris

    Because I continue to meet and fall in love with new people. My two new nieces are the latest additions to the list. I don’t want to miss a second of that.

  • Because the chocolate I am carrying would melt. Nothing worse than melted chocolate.

  • Ruth

    I am not crispy because when my cat Jeoffry barfed at some point in the middle of the night last night, she did it in the bathtub. I turned on the water and by the time it was warm enough for my shower, all evidence of her 16-year-old digestive system was gone.

    I am not crispy because a darling little independent bakery that recently opened RIGHT on my way to work has extended its hours and is now open early enough that I could reward myself for walking to work with a salted caramel ice cream sandwich or a bacon chocolate chip cookie. YES, you read that right. A bacon chocolate chip cookie.

  • Because a deep sigh at the end of a job well done, or one you hated that you can walk away from, or one you finished (even badly) but finished, is an incredible feeling.

    Wildflowers in an impossibly green field blowing in the perfectly gentle breeze under an impossibly blue sky on a gorgeous spring day.

    The first sip of a really, really cold Diet Coke.

  • Kathy

    The eclecticness of listening to Dean Martin and Van Halen, Patsy Cline and Pink. The joys of Star Trek reruns. Johnny Depp’s next movie. Breakfast out for my birthday. Hummingbirds.

  • Linda J

    I’m not crispy because someone has to clean the house.

    I wrote a review for AGUKOP for audible.com.

    Love your work

  • Jessica

    I’m not crispy because I have to wait until my friends finish reading your book to find out what they think. ;~) (THANK YOU!!)

    I’m also not well done because I am hoping that this is the year I’ll be going to grad school, so I don’t want to run into the sun without knowing if that’s doable. (I might if it’s not doable, though, so stay tuned…)

    Jessica (the celt)

  • Cathi

    OMG! I just finished A GROWN UP KIND OF PRETTY!! This was one of the best books ever!!! YOU are Brilliant! Just thought you might like to know!

  • Brigitte

    Mostly inertia and laziness. And also the sure knowledge that if I went, that NEXT lottery ticket purchase would have been the winning one, and I’d miss out.

  • I’ve SEEN that movie! It’s called Sunshine and is the most excellent kind of Sci-fi. But, oh, that movie sort of argues FOR crispification to save the humans… never mind.

    Reasons that are not my kids (which is an excellent reason by the way)

    1. A Song of Ice and Fire was FINALLY made into a rather excellent TV show, even though HBO doesn’t want my money for me to watch it. Whatevs that’s their problem I guess. It is a great show.

    2. Sushi

    3. Musicals

    4. I haven’t finished Skyrim because Reckoning came out and then I didn’t finish that because Mass Effect 3 came out.

    5. Diablo 3

    6. My bedroom. It’s the catch-all in my house. Things get put in there because they don’t have another place or we don’t have the time to put them in their proper places. It probably has gained hoarder levels of stuff, although sans garbage cause EWWW, but I must stay uncrispified long enough to empty that room and make it presentable.

    7. Books. I haven’t, yet, read them all.

    8. I homeschool. If I was too crispy, my kids would be left to the public schools. That’s scary like a horror movie and not cause I think public schools are all horrible-awful, but for other complex reasons I won’t go into here.

  • Jill S. in B'ham

    I still have a great number of students to help appreciate writing, literature, etc….
    I fear that I won’t be crispy for a while….

  • Karen

    I’m staying uncrispyfied…because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to read your NEXT book. I loved Grown-Up Kind of Pretty (second favorite after Between, and that’s just cause I have a major crush on Henry! :-)).

  • JMixx

    I remain uncrispified because I cannot die until I have the initials “LPC” after my name. They stand for “Licensed Professional Counselor,” and I have been working on getting the THOUSANDS of work hours needed to qualify to sit for the exam so I can have those initials. Of the thousands needed, I need only three hundred, which is less than ten weeks, SO.

    Also my Dad. I flatter myself that he needs me. Maybe he would just miss me. I hope.

    And my job is wacky and strange and important, trying to prevent people from jumping off bridges or shooting themselves or overdosing, at least until they have time to stop and THINK about these things, and what they would miss. Plus I’m nosy, and it’s difficult to find out juicy things if you’re a crispified lemming.

    And I love playing pool, and my dog makes me laugh. Whatever the commercial is where the man with the Indian accent says, “I could have been a contendah!” also makes me laugh. Every. Time. And I love “Codeword” crossword puzzles, which I do while snuggled in my bed each night before drifting off to sleep.

    And, on another subject, if word of mouth matters, then you’re going to be the rootenest, tootenest hombre east, west, north AAAAAND south of the Pecos, because I have a big mouth and I word about you.

    Me: What are you reading there?
    Interrupted Person: Oh, it’s a novel by R_____ P_____.
    Me: Sounds interesting. Have you read any of Joshilyn Jackson’s books? They are awesome. And they rocket along a mile a minute, and they’re ultimately not depressing. When you finish that one, you might want to look for one of hers…

  • JMixx

    Pee Ess! The “metaphorical spray of dog sick”? At my house, as at yours and I’m sure many others’, not always so metaphorical. EEEWWW.

  • Michelle-who-is-Shelley

    Milka chocolate. The kind that my husband brings back from business trips to Europe. Even though they sell smaller versions of the Milka chocolate in the “world foods” aisle of my grocery store, the kind from Europe is BETTER. It IS.

    Stories. Stories always save me. Stories in books, movies, TV, or music. It doesn’t matter. They capture me and take me in and then spit me out with more hope.

    I know you said no “for-the-love-of-my-beautiful-children”, but you haven’t met my son. As Maisy Jane would say, he is “Super-Teh-Coolz”. He is a sophomore in college and so full of enthusiasm for life, learning and friends that it just oozes out of him. I take credit for none of these traits. He is God given and and he lights up the people around him.

  • Karen

    I am uncrispyfied because:
    I want to see how it all turns out
    I have races to run and books to read (AGUKOP was lovely)
    I live for the day consumers revolt against those damnable Charmin bears and the GEICO squealing pigs

  • Karen

    I am uncrispyfied because:
    I want to see how it all turns out
    I have races to run and books to read (AGUKOP was lovely)
    I live for the day consumers revolt against those damnable Charmin bears and the GEICO squealing pigs

  • Myra Fabian

    I’ll be honest – I have two reasons to stay uncrispified. The Big Bang Theory and Solitaire Blitz on Facebook (I play “solitaire” against my sister).

  • Lulu

    I choose not to be a crispy lemming because of:
    1. The hubs – he’s a great guy and I would miss him.
    2. The critters, even with their fur balls, bad habits, and stinkyness – they’re love, pure and simple.
    3. My Scottish heritage – I’m too damned stubborn to go along with any crowd, so I’ll stay here in my air-conditioned world, remain obsessed with my iPad, and tally up my post-menopausal MI numbers. Thankewverramuch.

  • Jennifer in Durham

    My answer: I have yarn in my stash I haven’t knit yet. A lateral answer might be: there are monsters on I haven’t whomped yet.

  • Erin

    This is a really good question, as I am, frankly, feeling PRETTY DARN CRISPY right now, as I finish my dissertation (3.5 weeks to go! ACK!) while my husband finishes his Master’s coursework. It’s a little…REAL up in here, if you catch my drift.

    BUT–the things keeping me sane are mostly the people around me, who listen to me rant and rave and generally lose my marbles every few hours or so. God love ’em for never once rolling their eyes or running in the opposite direction when they see me coming.

    Also: SLEEP, glorious sleep. And the lovely spring weather we’ve had lately. And the switch from our yummy flannel sheets to our smooth and cool bamboo ones last week. *sigh* I love being in my bed.

    In OTHER news: LOVE LOVE LOVE your audiobooks, no doubt. SO MUCH so that my librarian husband not only requested AGUKOP from his library prior to its release date, but super-specially KNEW to request the audiobook version, “I know you like her audiobooks because she reads them.” I was so crispy at that point that I burst into tears–he knows me so well, and is so thoughtful. Scott’s pretty great, but I think maybe I got the very best one. (FOR ME, anyway…!)

  • Les in AZ

    First of all you were in AZ and I missed it? How bad is my karma. 2nd – I just finished Grown Up Kind of Pretty and i LOVED it – not the normal kind – but the C R A Z Y kind too 🙂 I am excited to get the audio book and hear you read it to me, now thats cool.

  • I choose not to be a crispy lemming each day, mostly for the relatively recent rediscovery that I had it right all those years ago with the very first boy I kissed. But also because I am finally letting my 10 year old inner crafty girl have her way with bits of yarn and felt. I am so enjoying watching imaginary garden pixies come to life for her. It is very much taking the sting out of the bad bits of being a grownup.