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Two Reminders, One Burning Question That Proves My Mental Illness Number is Nearing Terminal Numberlocity, and a PS

Reminder 1) I leave at 6 am for Mississippi on the first leg of the tour (HELLO OXFORD! HELLO JACKSON!) So if you are round about those parts, check the schedule and come out and see me. We will have fun. Pinky Swear.

Reminder 2) This also means that we are only a week and change away from the VBS at Alabama Booksmith, so if you want to participate/support my work/get more play/ have bouncier more behaving hair/support an AN AWESOME and hugely valuable Independent bookstore go HERE, and ps I love you.

If you just scratched your head and said, “By VBS does she mean Vacation Bible School and if I follow that link will I be expected to glue macaroni into the shape of a basket to float Felt Board Moses down a pipe cleaner river???” Then 1) Congrats you were prolly Raised Right, Ferrol Sams style, and 2) No, and 3) You can go HERE to get the skinny.

Burning Question: What is the movie where Emilio Estevez wakes up in the bathtub and it was all a dream? It was probably made in the late 80’s or early 90’s, and I was one of three people who saw it, and if you are one of the other two, can you please tell me the NAME?

Because I am constantly referencing this movie to mean a Wind Egg. Which, a Wind Egg is a an imperfect egg—an egg that will produce nothing but wind, see? An egg that will come to nothing. I learned the term reading the FANTASTIC Lucia books by E. F. Bensen.

SO when a book or movie is a wind egg, when it folds in on itself so there is no fundamental change or movement, when it is all a dream or a drug addled fantasy or it all took place in someone’s own brain or for some reason none of it was real, or WHATEVER dumb thing Shutter Islands the whole plot all the way up Jacob’s Ladder into nothing, I always say, “It’s just like that time Emelio Estevez woke up in the bath tub,” AND NO ONE KNOWS WHAT I MEAN BY THAT.

I wish when I said it and everyone blinked at me like confused lizards with lid disorders, I could say, YOU KNOW THAT MOVIE CALLED ________ THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS EXCEPT WITH EMILIO ESTEVEZ AND A BATHTUB instead of Dakota Fanning or John Cusack or Halle Barry all of whom have, yes, perpetrated films that were essentially a variation of the EMILIO WAS IN THE BATHTUBN THE WHOLE TIME thing, though granted, all of the films thusly referenced were more entertaining than the bathtub one because the bathtub one ALL I REMEMBER is my sense of impending rage as the misty bathtub rose up and I realized the whole film was a wind egg.

It was so bad, I can’t remember if Emilio was dreaming that he was a COWBOY or that he was IN SPACE or that he was in a GANG of BANK ROBBERS in the 40’s in Chicago??? No idea. I just remember the rage I felt over the bathtub reveal at the end when he was being scalped/lasered/going down in a hale of gatling gun fire but suddenly instead woke up with no injury greater than prune-finger in the cooling jasmine scented bubbles of 1992 or whatever godforsaken year it was.)

PS! These pictures are all from various launch week festivities. That drink I am toasting with is actually Alison’s drink and it is made of gin and mint and perhaps Spock’s iridescent Vulcan blood, while mine was made out of sensible things like bourbon with more bourbon and a splash of auxiliary bourbon. But I held her cocktail for the picture because it matched the book.

27 comments to Two Reminders, One Burning Question That Proves My Mental Illness Number is Nearing Terminal Numberlocity, and a PS

  • That movie was called WISDOM (made in 1986) but you can tell people the name and they STILL will not know what you’re talking about because you’re right, only 3 people saw it. It was a terrible terrible terrible re-imagining of the Bonnie & Clyde story (meets Robin Hood, a little bit), but then yes, Emilio wakes up and it’s all been a dream. I think Demi Moore was his girlfriend maybe? And Tom Skerrit was in it maybe?

  • Wisdom <– that is the movie. I think you're right that only you and a couple of other people saw it; I was not one of them. Emilio Estavez will forever be Otto the Repo Man to me.

  • Oh. My. Goodness. Your mental illness number was stratospheric when you penned this post. . .but that lets me know you are doing GREAT (really) because you are all running around to launch events. I. Cannot. Believe. you are going to be in Jackson. JACKSON. Just TWO STINKING HOURS from my hometown. Where I’ve not lived for 20 years. I’m down here in Houston which is NOT two hours from Jackson.

    Every one of those photos is GREAT, GREAT, GREAT. I especially love the table setting as gingham of any sort makes my soul sing. Not only THAT, but your book cover is EDIBLE and on a CAKE for goodness sakes. And as far as I’m concerned, “Georgia Center for THE Book” means they founded it for YOUR book. THE book.

    Emilio Estavez swims in my head as many, many people, but mainly he’s the guy who dipped Andie McDowell and laid a lip lock on her that had her questioning if she should have given him the time of day.

  • And I KNEW you meant Virtual Book Signing, but I had to beat back my fundamental evangelical roots to make it mean that. I did, after all, take a covered casserole to a pot luck today. And then stayed after to clean up.

  • allison noakes

    Not only was he in the movie Wisdom. He actually wrote and directed it. I am sure Emilio was glad at least you saw it!

  • *ahem* Emilio Estevez is Billy the Kid!

    Yay, for a new book! Yay, for a book tour! Congratulations!

    Yay, for you coming to Raleigh in February!

    Yay, for independent booksellers!

    My favorite picture is of all the people holding your book up over their faces and the one girl down front is peeking her eyes over the top! Love it!

    I shall now end this reply with more ! and !!! and !!!111one.

  • Well you look vivacious and skinny, whatever your mental illness number.

  • margaret

    I waited until your talk and signing in Decatur to buy my 2 copies (you said that made me your favorite). My sister was appropriately devastated when I told her how charming, witty, and brilliant you were (since she was unable to attend due to plague). I did give her personal home delivery that very same night and she read it in her sick bed. We both give it grades of Excellent and think it should be in Honors Classes. Travel safely, and I’m gonna get you a pic of VM in Athens…by hook or by crook!
    Thanks for everything!

  • @Tenessa. . .”Did you see the size of that chicken????” That is all I remember of him as Billy the Kid–if it was even he who said it. For some reason I remember him riding a horse backward.

  • God, WHAT is it about me or the pictures or you or Emilio Estevez that made me tear up like a mofo just now? Especially the picture with all the bookfaces — all those people loving you and your words, just like I do.

    Anyway, I like the Estevez bit better if I can also imagine him buried in ice, suddenly missing a kidney. Maybe with “CALL 911” scrawled on his chest in traces of that apple-green cocktail.

  • Brigitte

    Hee, I like Julie’s Mental Illness Number too!

    Aw, I was hoping that the participation of !*MOI*!
    in the VBS would vastly settle your nerves, alas and alack, it did not. More bourbon, then. 😉

  • Jessica

    Love the green drink, love the cutest gingham table setting, lovesomuch this blog (this is my very first comment on it; and I’m kinda excited *blush*), and I’m so looking forward to my book! I did the VBS thing this weekend, and I can’t wait for that beautiful personalized book to arrive at my house.

    Wishing you a fun book tour!

  • Rae

    Just wanted to let you know that I am LOVING the new book! It’s a “CAN’T PUT IT DOWN!” kind of book. The best kind! You’re writing is amazing! Keep up the great work! 🙂

  • I definitely thought of Vacation Bible School before Virtual Book Signing haha! All these pictures are so pretty and exciting – I can’t wait to meet you in NC!

  • I hated that movie! I mean, I didn’t hate the whole thing, but when he woke up in that bathtub I was ENRAGED. Urgh. Judging by these comments, more than three of us saw it. Maybe a lot of people saw it but were able to erase it from their memories, the way I wish I could.

    Pretty pictures!

  • Aimee

    You look so PRETTY in all these pictures!! That is the first thing.

    The second thing is that I lurve all of these pictures, but most especially the one of all the book-faced people with the one peeper in front. LOVE IT. You should frame that and hang it in your office.

    I am already IN for the VBS (and no, I apparently was NOT raised right, but I think I’m okay with that) and anybody who’s not in for the VBS should GET in, right now.

  • Glory Words

    I spent the week with the flu and the only good thing about it was the chance to read your new book. I fly through a few pages cuz the story has me caught. Then I gasp and realize there is so much to be savored, that I slow down and reread and love love love the characters/language/imagery so much!! It’s like book/crack and I’m badly needing a fix!

    Here are my two best compliments: First, it’s almost depressing to start your new books because I know it will be over way too soon and can’t stand the idea of how long I might have to wait for the next one, and really…can’t you just pop them out oh, say, monthly or so…great talent that you are?

    And Second, I’ll bet that every time you wake up to a new book launch day, every other thought-they-might-possibly-be-as-good-an-author sighs a big hearty sigh and says…”dang. She’s at it again!!”

    Thank you thank you thank you for being brave enough to put this magic to paper!


  • Lori B.

    I just Googled this movie, and I remember the empty football stadium and the FBI agents and him getting shot, but I do NOT remember the bathtub. Isn’t that weird. I must have blanked out that terrible ending and remembered it as it should have been!

    BTW, you look fabulous no matter how mentally ill you are. I am mentally ill with the handwashing sickness that comes from three puking children in a 48 hour period and a husband who is on his way home from work early with the same said puking illness. My hands look like Aslan clawed them off and instead of getting the shiny new skin, I got the dragon hands instead…

  • edj

    You look awesome and my fav part of the pic of all the people loving your book is the woman peeking over the top. Girl maybe. She looks fun. And VBS will always mean lukewarm weak Kool-aid and stale cookies to me. I remember food. Perhaps why I don’t look so awesome myself. Also flannelgraph. Who remembers flannelgraph?

  • You look great, Joss!

    Admit it, you just wanted to sip a drink that looks like it has Spock’s iridescent Vulcan blood in it. (The bourbon sounds better, imo.)

    Congrats on release week stuffs. I am reading GUKOP in tiny gulps of a chapter at a time lest my tiny grinch heart EXPLODE WITH FEELINGS. GUH, woman, I’m only like 50p in and already you’ve outdone yourself. That Ginny is killing me. Killing.

  • Hidden Faces

    That is so cool that you posted the picture Mr. Golden sent you of the Creative Writiers. We are all so excited to get to talk to you again about this awesome book. Also love your blog!

  • Another one of the Hidden Faces

    I am SO glad you liked our picture enough to put it on your blog! I am currently on chapter 9 and I cannot put it down. We can’t wait for you to visit us again and talk about the book!

    Fave character so far? Roger, of course.

    Amazing job as always. 🙂

  • Melissa C

    I bought the book (Kindle edition) yesterday. I finished reading it today (when I should’ve been paying attention during class.) I absolutely LOVED it. Loved, loved, loved! Thank you for sharing your wonderful gift with the world. 🙂

    Hoping to see you on the NC leg of the book tour. In a non-stalkery fashion, of course!

  • Michelle-who-is-Shelley

    I saw Wisdom also, but I don’t even remember the it-was-all-a-dream part. I thought it ended with him getting shot on some bleachers… Yes, Demi Moore was in it too and I think she was dating him in real life as well. That was back in the days after St. Elmo’s Fire when I went to any every brat pack movie.

  • Leigh

    Wow, look at all the Raleigh represents on your blog!!!! Me thinks you and all the rest of yous including the kiddies and animules and stuff including the most perfect husband, should pack up and move here. 🙂 You are obviously so very much loved beyond all that you can imagine and we will find a Hot Yoga place and I will even go with you and look, you have already got a half-dozen bests friends ready made…just add bourbon…we are kinda like those sea monkeys we would get as kids but hopefully we won’t creep you out as much as those did me. See you in 13 days!!!!!!

  • Scottsdale Girl

    I am TRYING to savor the book but got to 49% in like 3 hours. GAH! AGUKOP is HANDS DOWN my favoritey book of yours so far. Thank you Joshilyn!

  • Scottsdale Girl

    *favorite…although I like favoritey too. Heh.