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A Whatty WHAT Lair, You Say?

The The BookPage review for A GROWN UP KIND OF PRETTY is up, and lovely, saying things like engrossing and etc, but I have to admit my mind boggled a little bit when the review promised that my fifth novel features, “a forest sex lair.”

A FOREST SEX LAIR! Below is a screen capture of some images that come up if you google the words “forest sex lair.”

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. I was quite charmed with all these as I was nervous to google those words, but LUCKILY the vicious thorny anti-porn walls erected by the parental filters I have on my computer HELD! I was afraid I might see things I might never unsee, and instead I got… Lurch. Who I always thought was kinda hot, to be oversharey, but I think I may be alone in that. Is he the first thing that springs to your mind when you hear the phrase, “forest sex lair?”

When I first read the review, I have to admit, I was giggling over that phrase, thinking, “Oh BookPage, what did you SMOKE? And what book did you read while you were smoking it?”

And then I did a little internal double take and thought, “Oh wait, THERE ACTUALLY IS A FOREST SEX LAIR in the book.” A pretty prominent one. I might not have CALLED it that in my head but, when I think about it, the phrase is just awfully darn …accurate.

SO yeah, I am going to own that phrase, and own it proudly. MY NEW BOOK HAS A FOREST SEX LAIR, and if THAT doesn’t get you to run right out and get a copy or participate in the Virtual Book Signing, I just do not know what will. Maybe another screen capture of google image results, from lower down?

YES! FELLOW GEEKS WHO CLOCKED IT! That is a still shot from LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM, and I LOVED that movie! I saw it when I was a wee lassie and never realized til NOW that that was Hugh Grant in there, so young he looks like a poufy haired fetus, fighting demon-worm puppets in a bar, though later he in the film he will fight real ones in what I can only describe as an underground sex lair. This was before he was four weddinged and one funeraled into stardom on myside of the pond. LOOK here he is, square dancing!

By the way? Yes. This is scattered and insane. I am freaking out over book release. I keep half writing Kudzu entries and forgetting to finish them and starting a new one the next day. Looking in the management part of the blog, I have the following entries half written and archived, waiting to be edited and posted:

A Farewell to Mollusks

Fatter Than Thou

Ansley…Dog or Metaphor?

I think that last one has a pretty weak title, comparatively speaking. Maybe I should change it. “Ansley…Dog or Forest Sex Lair?” comes to mind.

Or I could make it sound more touching and instructive, like Marley and me except the dog doesn’t die at the end because it is a blog entry, not a book. I could call it.

“Ansley…the Dog Who Caused Me to Grow as a Person.” or

“The Dog With The Pink Socks Tattoo” or

“Everything I Need to Know I learned from a Seventeen Pound Dog with an Overbite” or

“Tuesdays with Ansley”

How about this:

If you title it, I will finish writing it…Maybe. I’m a MESS. Please send chocolate. Or sedatives. Or sedatives dipped in chocolate. Whatever.

23 comments to A Whatty WHAT Lair, You Say?

  • If you email me an address (like a PO box or something – I know you’re not going to give your HOUSE address out to some crazy internet person, and I wouldn’t want you to!), I will send you the best locally-crafted artisan chocolate that Charlottesville, VA, has to offer. Pinky swears. But they don’t have any sedative chocolate that I know of – I checked their website.

  • Methinks the squirrels in your brain have been smoking crack in The Forest Sex Lair. Zoo-wee Mama!!! There is NO NEED for you to go crazy over the book release when your reviews are so sparkly. . .remember. . .YOU=NYT Best-selling author, Joshilyn Jackson. NOW with forest sex lair!

  • kim

    Hee hee, the first image I noticed on there was Lurch. Now I’ve got “you rang” echoing through my brain.

    I can bring you chocolate next week when you speak at the Decatur library. No sedatives at the moment, though.

  • Jill W.

    Chocolate covered sedatives = best idea ever

  • Linda J

    Wow what a thought a forest sex lair!?! What is that? Now I absolutely have to read it. Not that there was ever any doubt that I would, I do, after all, refer to you as my favorite author.

  • Bridget

    Methinks you need about 3 back-to-back yoga session per day between now and the book launch. You won’t need chocolate then as you’ll be too tired to unwrap the stuff.
    And are you a milk or dark chocolate fan….?

  • For the future: “Ansley’s Guide to Spirituality: Eat, Bay, Love”

    A forest sex lair, huh? Now I’m doubly glad I ordered my copy in HC.

  • Michelle-who-is-Shelley

    Okay, honestly when you said “what comes to mind when I say ‘forest sex lair'”? The first thing that came to my mind was the Twilight movies. They are always lying in the forest, running through the forest, talking in the forest, or fighting in the forest in those movies. I think the only thing they don’t do is have sex.

  • cakeburnette

    M-w-i-S: they have sex in the latest movie. Sometimes in the forest.

  • Brigitte

    Forget Hugh, I loved that singing! Much better than the square-dancing music I was forced to submit to in 5th grade (Oh, the humanity).

    How ’bout “The Curious Incident of the Ansley in the Night-Time?” Assuming night enters the picture at any point, of course.

    And I too want some of those chocolate-covered sedatives, mmmmm.

  • DebR

    I can’t think of good Ansley titles based on books – I keep thinking of songs or shows or something. Like “Ansley Way You Want It, That’s The Way You Need It” or “Little Orphan Ansley and Jossie Warbucks” or “Ansley Which Way You Can” or “You Can’t Always Get What You Want, But If You Get Ansley, You Get What You Need” (which isn’t even based on a title at all, it’s based on a lyric, but Whatevah!!!)

    Sorry, that’s all I gots. Still dithering on whether to buy AGUKOP as a real-live book with pages or on my kindle, which is why I’m way late to the virtual book signing party. 😮 (But I WILL be buying in some version once I make up my teeny-tiny mind on format!)

  • DebR–CRACKED ME UP!!! Seriously. . .”Ansley Way You Want It?” Hilarious.

  • Aimee

    Luuuuuuuurch! Of course he would be in a Forest Sex Lair. Of course.

    It’s not that I didn’t want to read the book before, but who can resist the lure of a lair? Not me.

    As for titles: Ansley and the Art of Archery. No? No.

    I like Jan’s suggestion of “Eat, Bay, Love” That is genius.

  • sillyme

    the dog DIES at the end? I’m not gonna watch that. That’s awful!

  • Lulu

    Personally, I’m thrilled that amazon delivered my pre-ordered copy yesterday!!!
    So, during today’s snowpocalypse, also known as regular wintertime here, I’m working from home but so far studiously ignoring the siren call of that (grown-up kind of) pretty book.

    (I know, I’m just a major suck up here…)
    Ansley in Alabama (or, conversely, gods in Ansley)
    Ansley, Georgia
    The Girl who Stopped Ansley (because I don’t like the idea of Ansley stopping the swimming)
    Backseat Ansley

  • Emily

    It’s funny that if you google “forest sex lair” now (or perhaps when you’re bored at work, for example) that the screen shots from this post are the first two results.

  • Michelle-who-is-Shelley

    Jill W. — so where does one get these chocolate covered sedatives? They sound divine.

  • Jill Sturgeon

    Extremely loud and incredibly Ansley!

  • Brigitte

    Okay, I’m pulling the trigger on the virtual book signing any day now . . but I feel such PRESSURE to come up with some personalized message for Joshilyn to write to ME (“To my most inspirational, favoritest Best Beloved”? – Ha!).

    Maybe I’ll just opt for the plain signature . .

  • Christie

    I’m about 2/3 of the way through Pretty and I just had to put it down for a minute and come in and thank you. I am going through a rough spot in life lately and I have been morose and gloomy. I’ve also been going through a reading slump where I toss every book — long-awaited new ones and old favourites– aside after a few pages and just watch old West Wing episodes instead. Just knowing that I had your newest book in the house ready to read lifted my spirits immensely so I was already having a better week than I’ve had in ages! Last night I took myself out to a nearby restaurant, ordered a nice dinner and a grapefruit martini and cracked it open. I was hooked from the very first line! Thank you!

  • It makes complete sense that Lurch would come up under the search of “forest sex lair.” The image I’m still trying to figure out is the pretty European town. I am so excited for your new book!

  • You might want to double check your parental filtering…I’m pretty sure Lurch is eyeing that noose in an autoerotic kind of way~wait, what do you mean, I’m the only one who sees that?!

  • Lemon is definitely out.