The The BookPage review for A GROWN UP KIND OF PRETTY is up, and lovely, saying things like engrossing and etc, but I have to admit my mind boggled a little bit when the review promised that my fifth novel features, “a forest sex lair.”
A FOREST SEX LAIR! Below is a screen capture of some images that come up if you google the words “forest sex lair.”
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. I was quite charmed with all these as I was nervous to google those words, but LUCKILY the vicious thorny anti-porn walls erected by the parental filters I have on my computer HELD! I was afraid I might see things I might never unsee, and instead I got… Lurch. Who I always thought was kinda hot, to be oversharey, but I think I may be alone in that. Is he the first thing that springs to your mind when you hear the phrase, “forest sex lair?”
When I first read the review, I have to admit, I was giggling over that phrase, thinking, “Oh BookPage, what did you SMOKE? And what book did you read while you were smoking it?”
And then I did a little internal double take and thought, “Oh wait, THERE ACTUALLY IS A FOREST SEX LAIR in the book.” A pretty prominent one. I might not have CALLED it that in my head but, when I think about it, the phrase is just awfully darn …accurate.
SO yeah, I am going to own that phrase, and own it proudly. MY NEW BOOK HAS A FOREST SEX LAIR, and if THAT doesn’t get you to run right out and get a copy or participate in the Virtual Book Signing, I just do not know what will. Maybe another screen capture of google image results, from lower down?
YES! FELLOW GEEKS WHO CLOCKED IT! That is a still shot from LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM, and I LOVED that movie! I saw it when I was a wee lassie and never realized til NOW that that was Hugh Grant in there, so young he looks like a poufy haired fetus, fighting demon-worm puppets in a bar, though later he in the film he will fight real ones in what I can only describe as an underground sex lair. This was before he was four weddinged and one funeraled into stardom on myside of the pond. LOOK here he is, square dancing!
By the way? Yes. This is scattered and insane. I am freaking out over book release. I keep half writing Kudzu entries and forgetting to finish them and starting a new one the next day. Looking in the management part of the blog, I have the following entries half written and archived, waiting to be edited and posted:
A Farewell to Mollusks
Fatter Than Thou
Ansley…Dog or Metaphor?
I think that last one has a pretty weak title, comparatively speaking. Maybe I should change it. “Ansley…Dog or Forest Sex Lair?” comes to mind.
Or I could make it sound more touching and instructive, like Marley and me except the dog doesn’t die at the end because it is a blog entry, not a book. I could call it.
“Ansley…the Dog Who Caused Me to Grow as a Person.” or
“The Dog With The Pink Socks Tattoo” or
“Everything I Need to Know I learned from a Seventeen Pound Dog with an Overbite” or
“Tuesdays with Ansley”
How about this:
If you title it, I will finish writing it…Maybe. I’m a MESS. Please send chocolate. Or sedatives. Or sedatives dipped in chocolate. Whatever.