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Alanis Lyrics---It's like your current least fave bacteria is your fave color.

I have to tell you how Scott won Christmas, but I cannot because of my New Year’s resolutions. Namely the FIRST one, which was:

Do not get strep throat.

Status: Failed. Already. I am sitting here bleary eyed and sweaty and chilled all at once, with glands the approximate size and hardness of walnuts, digging through gites-for-rent in Paris and Provence (aka French House pR0n) on Home Away.

So I will have to tell you about How Scott Won Christmas later, when I have 3 or 4 non-fever-inflamed brain cells. (BY THE WAY! I thought I was going to win Christmas, but he trounced me.)

"Go for NPH"

Resolution 2: Answer the phone by yelling GO FOR BARNEY into it.

Status: Partial Success: I am 3 for 10 on that, having remembered to yell GO FOR BARNEY 30% of the time. Okay well maybe not REMEMBERED. I admit I check caller ID and CHOOSE when and where going for Barney is appropriate.

An Example of a Not Appropriate Moment: If my editor calls to tell me that A Grown-Up Kind of Pretty has made the February INDIE NEXT LIST.

WHICH BY THE WAY IT TOTALLY DID. This is SUPER excellent, because The Independent Bookstores have always been amazing to me, handselling my work, word-of-mouthing my backlist…

It just feels good to know that they liked this book enough to write in the reviews and votes that put the book on the list. (Sample: “This is a fast-paced and enthralling read that pulls you in and won’t let you go until the very end.” — Morgan Kiedrowski, Next Chapter Bookshop, Mequon, WI”)

That stuff matters, especially NOW, as I deteriorate into a puddle of BOOK RELEASE MENTAL ILLNESS. And Strep.
Indie Next List is a great reason not to fly myself ALLLLL the way across the ocean and drown in the Rhone. Which is a lot more romantic-seeming than drowning myself here, in the Hootch, but Scott says I am not allowed to do EITHER> He is a resolution thwarter. For example, he pre-thwarted:

Resolution 3: Go live in France and eat nothing that isn’t SOAKED in truffle butter until my heart explodes.

Status: ABANDONED. Because Scott did not care for it.

Scott: I don’t like that one.
Me: No worries. I never keep my resolutions.
Scott: Don’t care. Ix-nay on the death by butter.
Me: So can I at least—
Scott: Also I call no drowning in any rivers. No matter how exotic the locale.

S So, NEW Resolution 3: Learn to speak conversational French with an APALLING HICK GEORGIA GIRL ACCENT.

Status: Got a book on tape from Audible.
Currently listening to French.
Currently saying French things.

I think we can put a BIG BEWINGED DELIGHTFUL NAKEDLY CHERUBIC CHECK MARK on at least a part of that one.

I may not be able to say more than 9 words so far, but trust me, the hick accent part? Got THAT nailed.

15 comments to Resolutely

  • Gaylin

    Joss, totally waiting impatiently to know how Scott won Christmas!

    Very sorry to hear you have strep, had it once, didn’t like it, told it not to ever return.

    Seeing as how French is Canada’s other official language, I should be able to help you learn french. Eh, not so much, I can say pass the salt and that is about it. Also, people in France consider french-canadian to be a horrendous version of ‘their’ french.

  • Ew, strep is teh suck. Get better!

  • Boo about strep! Yay about Indie Next! Because we do, most seriously, lurve you. And think you’re pretty even with walnut-sized glands. At least you don’t have the Martian Death Plague, which is running rampant through our shop.

  • edj

    I may have already told this story, but we had a friend in Mauritania (part of francophone NW africa) who lived in Paris for 2 years to learn French. His French was good but he had an accent so thick it had obviously been drowned in butter and deep-fried at some point in its existence. I can’t type it, but when he said, “Je m’appelle To-odd,” we would all try unsuccessfully not to smirk. It was awesome.

  • Danielle

    People in France use more english words (anglicism) than us here in Quebec.They are a little scornful for the other french communities with no reasons at all.
    I’m with Scott about #3: awfull. We want you in shape to continue writing good books. Take good care Joshilyn.

  • Ugh, being sick over the New Year?! Just consider it like a free pass… and your resolutions don’t start counting until your glands shrink down to the size of whatever nut they are supposed to be.

  • Brigitte

    Bon-jewer maddy-mwah-zul!

    Seeing as how my parents moved to the US with me and got me my Permanent Residency when I was bitty, I believe I am the only French-Canadian who can’t speak French. Phooey.

  • Kristen

    Oh! Ack! Ick! Ptooey on strep (my phone wanted that to read Ptolemy on strep…). But yea yea and hooray for you with Indie Next List! Totally over the moon for you!!!

  • Aimee


    YAAAAAAAAAAAAY to IndieNext! Congrats!

    I can’t wait to hear how Scott won Christmas.

    And finally, I just re-read “Blame It On Paris” and so my idea of your Georgia French accent is very similar to Laura Florand’s brother calling her husband “Say-bast-ee-YON”

  • Boo for strep, it is not fun…hang in there! But YAY! for everything else.

    Just went to the virtual book tour. The captcha on the order form was PReened….which is, of course, what anyone who is on the Indie Next List would be doing! très à propos <– lookie, some FRENCH

  • gillian

    well strep in french is : streptocoque
    which sounds like some kind of gourmet food, maybe cooked in butter I mean Buerre
    Get well soon

  • Linda J

    Get well soon dear, We are all eagerly awaiting the new book.

  • Learn to speak conversational French with an APALLING HICK GEORGIA GIRL ACCENT.

    My high school French teacher introduced herself, “Jay may aypayl Madame Hazledon.”

    She was from South Carolina and it showed.

  • Well hells bells! I clicked on this through Alice Bradley and fell into an internet whoopsie and here you are. I read your novel Gods In Alabama a year or so ago and loved it, and am so glad to find you writing here. Hello! And Goodbye. And Read You Soon! RYS. ( Isn’t it weird that Rhys is spelled Rhys? )

  • Michelle-who-is-Shelley

    Congrats on the Indie Next list. Hooray!
    And congrats on being able to post the above blog ( and even get a pic of NPH in!) while you are sick. I have had only the winter blues and haven’t even been able to post here on your blog. Blech.