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New Things and the VBS! (No, not that kind)

FIRST, an abject apology for the VIDEO I posted in the entry below. I did not realize it WAS a video of graphically horrible deaths. The website made it look like I was going embed a CREEPY GAME in which a raccoon chases Mario through a mushroom-laden abattoir. I took the video down and replaced it with a link to the game. SO SORRY.

Look, as an apology, I present you with a charming picture of a giraffe about to do a shot of tequila that you can put in the brain cell that is currently stuffed with images from the video. (Yes, I know, tradition dictates you lick SALT before doing a shot of tequila, but giraffes apparently lick squirrels instead, and maybe we shouldn’t be so JUDGEY, hmmmmm? As long as they suck lime after, it’s all good.)
I have been meaning to say for WEEKS now HEY LOOK THE WEBSITE CHANGED. We redid it for the January launch of the new book, which launches in January, DID I MENTION?

This is the first time we have used a pro instead of having Lydia Netzer and Gray James and Mr. Husband stick together some images and code using spittle and hope and quite possibly a soupcon of dark majicks. I didn’t ask and they didn’t tell.

Yes, Virginia, there is an FAQ PAGE. You heard me! The long-thought-to-be-purely mythological FAQ page now actually exists in space and time. Seeing it on my website is a little like seeing a unicorn calmly eating the blooms off the camellia bush in my side garden.


Did you go look?

NO?? Really go look.

Now did you go look?

HA! What do you think???? Scott made it.

One hopes the content will change slightly as The Inimitable Alison, my media consultant, as well as two of my very BEST of all possible beloveds, valiantly dug around in the slagpile of extreme verbiage that is Yellow Blog and FOUND quite a few the actual FAQ things I wrote ages ago, back when it was still in vogue for giraffes to lick kittens before shooting tequila.

SO one day, instead of just that PAGE, there might be actual CONTENT.

I do not suggest we hold our collective breath while we wait for that frabjous day.

Most of all importantlies, the VITUAL BOOK TOUR IS HAPPENING.

If you live in Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, North Carolina, Mississippi, OR Virginia, please go take a look at the ACTUAL TOUR PAGE. I may well be coming to a town hear you, and if I do, PLEASE come and see me AND TELL EVERYONE YOU EVER MET TO COME AND SEE ME AND IF YOU know ANYONE IN ANY OF THOSE STATES please tell them to come and see me Because

1) we will have fun, pinky swears, and

2) It’s so depressing when it is just me and two booksellers, eating up all the cupcakes, and

3) Yes, oftentimes there are cupcakes.

Also, a South Carolina date has been added. I will tell you as soon as I have the deets.

But if you live in some Wester or Norther style state, you can STILL support me, my work, this blog, my little kids’s organic milk habit, my pernicious having-a-roof-over-my-head habit and get a signed personalized first edition, first printing copy A GROWN-UP KIND OF PRETTY, and you will be supporting one of my ALL TIME Favorite Indie bookstores as well. Win, Win, Win.

Also, consider a signed copy AGUKOP for a birthday present or a teacher gift or a just because for some reader in your life you love. The book is already getting REALLY great reviews—More info on the book here.

You can download and read the first two chapters here.

ALSO! There will be PRIZES, some kind of cheery prize drawing for people who participate. I will tell you what they are in JANUARY, just as soon as I have decided what they are. HEH. Rigth now I am being eaten by Christmas.

Want to be my virtual favorite? Click here to attend the VIRTUAL BOOKSIGNING and thus make me happy for the rest of my life.

21 comments to New Things and the VBS! (No, not that kind)

  • Chris of the Woodwork

    Um…are you trying to say the FAQ page is a work of pure fiction? Because your link leads me to fiction.com, which says it is launching in Spring, tra la, and I need to sign up now.

    Very un FAQ-ish, I’m thinking. Very tra lah-ish, but very un FAQ-ish.

    Question marks???

  • The dark magics may have failed a bit. I can’t find the FAQs either.

  • JulieB

    Um, me neither. Methinks there is a linkage-y problem between the disturbing video and the FAQ…

  • FIXED!

    I fail at linking.


  • FAQ-SCHMAQ! YOU ARE COMING TO RALEIGH!!! I’m gonna go squee delightedly in the privacy of my bedroom so as not to scare the small natives. YAY!!!!

  • Rosemary

    What a lovely FAQ page! It made me feel quite refreshed and pleased.

  • OMG, Just read the first chapter. Terrific! Guess Christmas will be coming exactly one month late. Of if you’re a glass-half-full kinda gal, 11 months early.

  • Lori B.

    So sad our big beautiful Indie bookstore in Nashville closed. But another one opened. You could come christen it. Pretty please?

  • JulieB

    Wheeeee! I made the lights reverse. 🙂 Wonderful placeholder. Can’t wait for content!

  • Kim

    Yay! Decatur is first on the list!!! I’ve got the book preordered for my Nook, but I’ll have to pick up a real copy to get signed for my collection.

  • That is one lovely FAQ page.

    But why aren’t you coming to San Diego? I’ll drive you to In and Out burgers, show you surfers bobbing in the ocean and braid your hair.

  • Brigitte

    I WAS feeling refreshed, but it seems to have worn off already. Maybe I better go visit that FAQ page again.

  • Mit

    Much like Tenessa, I am thrilled to see you will be at QRB in Raleigh.

    Day after Valentines Day.

    I <3 you!

    (in an best beloveds way. Not a creepy-stocker-ish way.)

  • Jennifer in NC

    Another cheer for the Raleigh visit to Quail Ridge Books! I would mark the date if I could find my 2012 calendar (I know you can relate!). Just kidding, I mentally filed the date ages ago and have since been telling all of my book-buddies. Can’t wait to see you and to read the new book!!!

  • FAQ page:Cute, funny,packing a kitty in a box to ship funny.

  • Aimee

    I’m with Melodee! Why no love for San Diego? San Diego is LOVELY, and I would be happy to help braid your hair, and if burgers aren’t what you crave, there’s always Wahoo’s for fish tacos.

    That is a BEAUTIFUL FAQ PAGE. So sparkly! So… blank. But just the fact that it’s there is enough for me. *mutters darkly* FOR NOW.

    And I am so very excited that your book is coming out next month that I am not even concerned that, yet again, the title of this blog entry is not “The Movie Ballerina Sex-Love Playa Fallacy Comparison.”

  • Chris of the Woodwork


    Pink socks.

    The world is full of pink socks.

    And here I had my hopes all uppity and such….

  • SO looking forward to having AGUKOP to sell! And signed copies even, because you’re a rockstar!

    Someday you’ll come back to Seattle, but in the meantime I will look forward to your book next month and loving your new website without the bee, which frankly always made me a bit nervous. I know, it was a long time ago, but it still haunts me.

    Happy Christmas, my friend!

  • I dearly love the way you make up words.

  • edj

    You NEED to come to Oregon. I see other westcoasters pleading too. But we have Powells, which will be your favorite place in the whole wide universe (it’s a bookstore that is an entire city block and 3 storeys high) and also Portland is a book-lovers heaven. It rains and we sit around and read and drink coffee. You need to come.

  • Beth

    Wooo! I may get to come this time! But I will embarrassingly have nothing for you to sign, as I am a new iPad addict. Hmm. The cover, maybe?