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The Blog Shies

There’s are couple of weird things that happen when you stop blogging for a little—or a lot.

1) First, you HATE to read those “why I have not been blogging” entries by other people, because they are not very interesting, and they seem to imply a certain HOW HAVE YOU MANAGED WITHOUT ME POOR YOU-ness, when really it is just a blog and the answer is, Fine, thanks.

Also, they usually boil down to “OH EM GEE, you guys, I was so super busy.” And who isn’t? Especially this time of year.

BUT…at the same time, you begin to believe you can’t write a normal blog entry until you dutifully fulfill the obligation to write the blog entry about why you haven’t been writing blog entries, and it seems boring to do that, and so you keep putting off writing it and then you have not blogged LONGER and LONGER until, eventually, you feel in order to justify your near absence you need to REALLY have a great reason, like, say, if alligators came up out of the toilet and ate your dog and you have been too sad and nonplussed and also getting therapy for your new restroom-themed night terrors.

OH! THE EARS!

But we haven’t had ANYTHING remotely reptilian rise out of the toilet, Thank the Lord, and eventually it almost feels like you are WAITING for some justifying thing to happen, which is first cousins with WILLING upon yourself an infliction of dog-murdering toilet reptiles.

And MAN, do you ever love your dogs.

Solution: I am not going to write the entry. I will say this: Things happened. I was super busy. So were you. The end, and also, HI I am back.

2) You get The Blog Shies. It’s like running into a friend you haven’t seen in a bit, and you are not sure what to ask because what if you ask about that husband of hers you always found to be moderately suspect, and she is in the middle of ugli-ly divorcing him, or he is in prison, or he actually WAS doing terrible experiments crossing his own toilet reptiles with hooved animals and his bison-viper hybrid ate him whole and pooped him out on the middle of the dining room table during her Thanksgiving dinner?

And you should probably already KNOW this. If you were any kind of friend at all. And so asking now would highlight that yes, you ARE really behind on each other’s lives. SO.

Also, in the blog sense, you know there are more blogs out there, like 700 zillion and when you get quieter and quieter people go away and you could NOW be talking companionably to, well, no one, and when the lights come up, you are quite blushed to see you have been babbling to an empty room, save for, perhaps, the mummified body of a man who may have once given a rose to Emily, or maybe it is Norman Bates’s mother.
Not to be corpse-ist here, but I confess all dessicated human remains look alike to me.

Solution: Just gonna ask you—HOW IS TRICKS? Anyone you know get eaten recently? Are you a dessicated corpse? If not, HOW ARE YOU? Are you still here? I am still here.

36 comments to The Blog Shies

  • Pamela

    Still here. One of the wonders of RSS feeds is that you’re unlikely ever to find yourself talking to an empty room, since it requires no effort for most of us to tune back in.

  • Amanda

    Still here, still telling all my friends “Ommygosh there is this awesome writer, her name is Joshilyn Jackson, you must read her blog RIGHTNOW and here, borrow my copy of her latest book!” In the mighty Google Reader, if there is a (1) next to you, everything else is dropped. Trains of thought, rush projects, vases…

  • Saskia

    Still here! (And indeed, the power of feed readers!)

  • I don’t apologize for being to long away from postings on my blog because I find that sometimes, SOMETIMES, I don’t have anything to say, and who wants to read about how you have nothing to say?

    I, too, push JoshilynJackson upon everyone I meet and randomly link your blog to my facebook page or my google+ feed because I find you distinctly hilarious and timely, and I love when things are META and come full circle. Sometimes symmetry is good, don’t you think?

    Myself? I’ve been busy. I’ve been angry. I’ve been happy. I’ve been confused. I’ve been sad. I’ve been creative. I’ve been playing a lot of Skyrim and waiting patiently for Diablo 3 to come out (ALLFREAKINREADY!). Mostly, I’ve been good. It’s good to have you back, whatever the reason for your absence.

  • Kathy

    Not a corpse……..yet, but a bit dessicated as dry as it’s been around here. Truly, checking your blog is one of the “can’t miss” “sneak it in when I’m supposed to be working” things I do everyday.

  • I’m still here! MIGHT have seen a deer get eaten by two slavering wild dogs this morning. But I was personally acquainted with neither deer nor dogs, so no! No one I know has been eaten recently. As far as I know.

  • I can babble with the best of them, or go silent for a while. Most readers seem to prefer the second.

    May I say I’d *love* to be at least a tiny bit like a dessicated corpse? At this time of year I find my “fluff” has turned to “jello” much more than usual, and I fear being served up as a doomed-to-be-neglected-by-guests side dish for Christmas dinner.

  • Karen

    Still here and waiting for Jan. 25 so Amazon can send a copy of your new book and then I can ignore my family for at least an entire day while I read as voraciously as I ate the Coca Cola cake I made for my family for a T’giving treat and then refused to share with them. Recap: “You can have a small slice. That’s too big. That’s still too big. Oh, just let me cut it. Well, if you want more cake then move out, buy your own ingredients, and learn how to make it yourself.”

  • liz

    Still here. And I have been patiently checking my RSS feed, and then crabbily not trusting it and going to your blog directly and hitting refresh every other day or so. Glad you are back, and that you didn’t bring the reptiles.

  • Judy in California

    Definitely still here. Love the dog ears. “Less than two months until Jan. 25!” she exclaimed with gleeful anticipation… :D

  • Glad to see you are still around. :)

  • Kristi Lafoon

    Totally still here. And glad of it. Thanks for the smiles…okay, down-right belly laughs.

  • Also still here. . .and I have no RSS feed, so I must MANUALLY, PHYSICALLY CLICK on my “favorites” button, then CLICK on YOUR PARTICULAR blog each day to see if you have posted. . .that means I am your favorite. Right?

    Not mummified. No one has been eaten, but everyone I know has GOTTEN to eat, so that’s a good thing. Being alive and all. I did not recognize Ansley from the back and thought (momentarily) that you had been absent because you had moved to a new house after you added ANOTHER dog to your clan.

  • Hey, purty new FTK background. (I’ve been reading through RSS reader lately so this might be old news to others.)

    I’m still here, though suffering from the Blog Shies myself, which you’ve described exactly. I often make a few false starts before I’m ready to reintroduce myself. This morning was false start #2, so that’s good. :)

  • Julie in Austin

    Hey, Woman! Welcome back! I missed your off-the-wall, colorful, crazy-ass stories! Your gift with language and humor is AWESOME! Looking forward to the new (audio) book!

  • Lulu

    Hi, Hon, glad you’re back. I was gone for a bit too — off to Seattle to cook turkey at the bachelor son’s house. Son had to work that day (and the next, and the next) and we didn’t, so it seemed fair for us to drive 5 hours over the rivers and through the woods to share the delicious anonymous turkey…

    And so far, no mummified human remains here, but quite a few germy, sneezy corpses-to-be lounging around with boxes of tissues and tubs of hand sanitizer. Merry gesundheit!

  • DebR

    Still here, no toilet reptiles or mummified bodies at my house either, although for a while I seem to have had a rotting body in the chimney of the lovely old fireplace right next to my desk at work. I’m pretty sure it was a bat body or a bird body, not a human body, but still. Rotting. Stinking. And did I mention right next to my desk? But now it’s either stopped stinking or I’ve gotten used to it. Or hey, maybe it’s frozen & will start stinking again in the Spring! Isn’t that a cheery thought? Aren’t you glad you asked??? :-)

    In other news, I am a brand,shiny-new,first-time Kindle owner. (Yeah, yeah, I’m a late adopter.) I was dragged to it kicking & screaming since I love paper books so much & didn’t think I would ever want an eReader, but I have to admit I am learning to love the Kindle too. So….That’s what’s new with me! Glad to see you’re still here and haven’t had your brain eaten by aliens (that was my guess as to why there were no new posts for a while). Also, love the new BlogSkin!

  • Em

    I’m still here. My little feed thingy turns dark when there is a new post so I know to come back. It is like a dog whistle. Otherwise, I am pretty dense and it takes a while of it not darkening for me to wonder, hey? WAS she eaten by a toilet monster? I’ve been good. I do feel a bit mummified but I can’t prove it and I am pretty sure I can get a work note for mummification anyway so…

  • A loyal reader in St. Paul MN

    Not mummified; still here.

    What’s new with me is I’m thinking about jumping ship to a new job that’s been offered, but having a really hard time making the decision. Anyone got a crystal ball I can borrow? (I’m going to have to anonymize?…anonymate?…change my name for this post.) Do I want to be a manager of people so I can eventually be a boss, or is it going to drive me crazy?

    p.s. I recommend your books to everyone I know and also furtively turn one of your books facing out every time I go to my big box book store. Last time it was TGWSS.

  • edj

    Still here. THe old feed reader, and all that. I could do with being a bit more dessicated…well, I do have dry skin (LUV winter!) but the ol’ bones are awfully well covered. No one has been eaten. Yet.

    What’s up? I work with Iraqi refugees, as does my husband, and the other day we were commenting on how, if you translated directly the greetings, the men would be kissing each other and saying, “What colour are you today, my love?” And I bet that wouldn’t be a big hit in Georgia, although I don’t know, since I have never been there. What do you think? We were joking about this and our colleague said that was no weirder than saying “What’s up?” which is of course ALSO an idiom. But I just went back to check and you didn’t even say “What’s up?” You say “How is tricks?” and the answer is, I don’t know how to answer that.

  • I’m here, and if I was a witless wonder with no morals whatsoever I would so totally lift this blog post verbatim and post it on my own little blog.
    Alas… I have a conscience that already won’t let me sleep at night, because I fudged the poor cashier out of an extra 14 cents in change and I can’t bring myself to cross the threshold of that store again because I just KNOW my face is up on the videos and printed out as “Most Wanted for Change Fraud” or whatever they do in their secret security rooms.
    How on earth could I possibly live with myself if I were to copy your funny and eloquent post that describes my own blog neglect so perfectly?
    I actually toyed with the excuse of “Well, see, I figured all my writerly friends were so busy with NaNo for the month of November, so I decided to experiment with something else, say… plunging the boys’ bathroom toilet… and you know all the fish I’ve flushed over the years? Well… you should see what happens when they live in a p trap for years…!”
    Nah.
    I think that instead I shall write my own eloquent post and ‘fess up to my laziness.
    And then I’ll direct them to this one for a laugh.
    And I’m fine, thanks for asking.

  • Thanks to Google Reader and having no short-term-memory and all, I don’t always notice when someone doesn’t blog for a while, but I’m happy to have you back! I subscribe to the Blogger Freedom idea, which is that I started my blog because I wanted to, and I’ll write when I want to, whether that’s every day or not for months. I highly recommend.

  • I have not blogged in three quarters of forever because I really can’t think of anything remotely intelligent to say, but I am here and not technically rotting flesh zombie style quite yet

  • Erin

    Still here. How are you doing with The Sad? Having been afflicted with this for quite some time myself, I was wondering if the giraffes really did cure you or if it has creeped back in.

  • Add me to the reader crowd – you’re in a folder called “Must Reads” and will be forever and ever. Stop blogging for a year, post once, and we’ll all be right there. Like everyone else it’s been a month of crazy followed by a few days of stuffed, now morphing back into crazy.

    Is it odd that I actually have a dessicated corpse story? In 2007 a local realtor was showing a house to a couple. They wandered into the bedroom and discovered the two week old corpse of the owner on the bed. At first they thought it was a Halloween prop.

  • Bridget

    Hi Joss-trust you had a nice visit with family and friends over Thanksgiving & are back once again to share your outlook on life. Looking forward to the book launch in January though I always feel like I haven’t done my homework ie read the book before we get to Q & A.

  • I’m new here, but will definitely be returning. Super cute post :)

  • Summer

    Here! Glad to see you’re back!

  • Linda J

    Present and accounted for. When you are gone for a bit I just think that you are so far into your next, no doubt, wonderful novel that when you do look up you see that your family is wondering if they need a net and cage for fear you have gone feral. Life happens. This we know. When lives of mentally ill authors happen novels are born. So go ahead go crazy, We will still devour your next book, and next book and next book…

    We still love you

  • Brigitte

    Hmmm. Sometimes I worry when you’re gone for a bit, like maybe the toilet alligators got your WHOLE FAMILY, but I didn’t worry this time. Maybe because I WAS busy. Or maybe because my meds are working really well.

    Ansley does look like a different (and bigger) dog in that picture. Ready to fight off those ‘gators, I’m sure.

  • Jill W.

    Still here, and glad to see you are back.

    Roxanne- I don’t have a feed either. I don’t understand what they are and how they work. I manually click over here everyday. And then, in an act of supreme laziness, I use the links on the right hand side of the screen to check some of my other favorite blogs, because that saves me all the copious time and arduous work of going to my favorites tab and clicking on kiwords, woulda coulda, etc from there… Sad, but true.

  • I am glad I am not the only one with no RSS. . .You and I have VERY good finger muscles from all of our extra clicking. :)

  • Andrea

    Still here…like all the others! Still love my Google Reader. Still love bragging on you (aka Amanda and her “Ommygosh there is this awesome writer, her name is Joshilyn Jackson, you must read her blog RIGHTNOW and here, borrow my copy of her latest book!”). Still thinking of choosing one of your books for my Feb Book Club even though I have read them all. Just because I love you & your writing!
    I am slacking on my own blog. It happens…we all get over it!
    Happy Holidays!

  • Les in AZ

    I’m good – thanks for asking. Currently stuck at work…the freeway is closed from some nasy accident (that thank goodness I wan’t involved with) and I can’t get home…so I decided it was time to check in with FTK and you :)

    Don’t worry you are allowed to be busy and ignor(e)? us a little – just don’t do that to the small ones living in your house – CPS frowns on that – just a wee bit. :) LOL

  • I am still here. :) Life is busy and good. Thanks for asking.

  • Aimee

    I am not a dessicated corpse — and neither are you! Yay, us!

    Honestly, when you’re away for a while (or a LONG while) it’s mostly just that I miss having something NEW by you to read and so maybe I mope. Just a little. Or a lot. So now I can stop moping and start reading.