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Hey, Remember the FAQ?

Me neither!

I AM supposed to already HAVE one. I know that. The work is theoretically done.

You were THERE when we did it, remember? You Best of all Possible Beloveds helped me compile a list of questions. If any question sounded even remotely familiar, I assumed it was because they had been asked frequently, and I answered them. I know I did like…15 individual blog posts. The idea was to AT THE END, cut and paste them together and make an FAQ page.

So it would have been REALLY smart to LABEL them all FAQ, right? SO that I could search Kudzu later and FIND THEM?

But instead I helpfully did not label or title the posts ANYTHING like FAQ. I made sure, in fact FAQ did not appear ANYWHERE in ANY of them. Nor did I cleverly make a CATEGORY.

OOOH WAIT!….Okay! Not true. Right after I typed that, I thought to myself, “Self, is that true? Or DID you make a category? And if you did, wouldn’t you feel FOOLISH having spent all this time using the search function?”

So I went to the old site and looked at the catagories and my little heart went pittery-pat-pat because technically I DID make a category. YAY! I opened it up and… I filed exactly ONE entry under it.

On the bright side, that one entry actually contains a frequently asked question. SO THERE IS THAT. One down.

When I SEARCH the old kudzu for the posts, all I find are posts delightedly butt-trumpeting about how I have now answered all those FAQ questions, and isn’t that AWESOME! Heh.

SO NOW! As we prepare here at Chez Kudzu to launch the ALL KNEW GROWN UP KIND OF WEBSITE (NEW! IMPROVED! Now with an ACTUAL designer instead of Jill and Lydia and Scott cobbling crap together with their personal human spittle, and 75% more raisins!) I am going to have an FAQ page that says COMING SOON!

And here we understand that soon is a relative term. Deeply, deeply, deeply relative. Why, “soon” to God might mean several billion years. So.

One idea I had was maybe to RE-DO the FAQ right here on KUDZU. Yes, just RE-ANSWER all the questions I don’t remember. HEH. One is: Where and when were you born?

Fort Walton Beach, Florida. February, 27. 1968.

That’s two down. Yay me.

13 comments to Hey, Remember the FAQ?

  • I don’t really like raisins. Can it have more chocolate chips instead?

  • Mit

    Totally giggled over this …

    “And here we understand that soon is a relative term. Deeply, deeply, deeply relative. Why, “soon” to God might mean several billion years. So.”

    I think God is wearing pink socks when he contemplates “soon”.

    ps: I agree with Tenessa. Raisins are icky. Can we have more of something else, please?

  • Judy in California

    And now, add “FAQ” to the Category listing for this post. Maybe? Yes? Just sayin’… 😉

  • No worries, guys.

    It had zero raisins before, so now, with 75% MORE, that means it has….zero raisins.

    Everybody wins. 🙂

    Judy, that makes sense. I wonder if I will remember to do that…

  • I vote that we all submit our FAVORITE pictures of pink sox to decorate the lovely, (not) raisin-laden FAQ page. Seeing as how the only question I did NOT have was when and where you were born. . .you already answered way more than I had thought of. You. Are. Awesome.

  • And I DO like raisins. . .but I can bring my own.

  • Brigitte

    Maybe some of your Best Beloveds, those who are far bestest than even moi, magically can remember and dig up which posts they are FOR you. After all, they came through on the bus picture! But you need a better prize than 0 raisins . .

  • Aimee

    “It had zero raisins before, so now, with 75% MORE, that means it has….zero raisins.”

    And with this response, we have officially gone down the rabbit hole, no?

    I suggest that you just make up the questions, make them as ridiculous as possible and pretend that they are frequently asked.

  • DebR

    Ooooh, I like Aimee’s idea! Like one question (obviously inspired by the photos in the post) could be, “So, Joshilyn, what the heck was up with the Cheese Dude in the dreams that Buffy and the Scooby Gang had during the last episode of Season Four?”

    Or you could say, “Who do you think is the hottest of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, and why?” Because, really, don’t you just get asked that ALL THE TIME?? I know I do, and I’m not even a best-selling author! :::beam:::

  • Rams

    How about “how do you pronounce your name?”. Not that anyone asks, but they should.

  • Aimee

    I love you, DebR!

  • I have LOTS of real work to get done, so of course I have been in search of suitable procrastination projects. Enter FTK!

    Just in case it’s helpful to have them in one place (and you haven’t located them by now already), here’s what I found while browsing through your archives:


    And if it’s not helpful and is instead sort of a new-FAQ-creation buzz-kill, feel very free to pretend this comment doesn’t exist. 🙂

  • Michelle-who-is-Shelley

    I just read an article that said the three most-often asked questions of writers are :
    When do you write?
    Where do you write?
    Where do you get your ideas?

    So in addition to Aimee’s idea (which I LOVE) maybe you can come up with really ridiculous ANSWERs to those three tediously over-asked questions.