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I’m on a Bus: Weirdest CONTEST Ever

I am heading out in a few hours to start reading the audio for A GROWN-UP KIND OF PRETTY. I wouldn’t say I am well, but I am SURE MEDICATED so I FEEL like I am. I am on about seven different things. Including Steriods.

Steroids make Hulk angry! RARR!!!

I spend a goodly portion of my day foaming at the mouth and wishing the foam was from gargling the blood of my enemies, oh yeah, but the drugs also make me feel like I have all these little luxuries I have been missing for weeks now—-a voice, lung capacity, the will to live….

Last few days have been spent rereading the book and walking around the house trying out voices and making weird rubbery faces because I remember everyone’s voice by setting a facial expression WITH each, and when I twist my face into that shape, the right voice comes out. It is making me wrinkly. BUT! I love this part of my job. I LOVE it when I get to do this.

SO Here is the weirdest contest EVER. As some of you know, I had a rawwwther chequered college career, with lots of transferring about and not-actually-showing-up-for-class type shenanigans, and when I had worked my transcripts into what looked like a MASS of hideously tangled yarnage that the cat ate and then gave back on the carpet, I got the worst office job ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET. I was essentially a tote monkey. It was…not fulfilling.

I won’t go into the excruciating details. I will just say that the job’s main duties involved dot matrix printer paper and its main pleasure was my own pathological liar-ing. The chronicles of that incredibly miserable year can be found in this anthology, along with other day job stories by Rick Bragg, John Grisham, Daniel Wallace, Tommy Franklin, Michelle Richmond and more.

Anyway, after about a year of this, I called my parents up and BEGGED for a second (or third. Or ninth, BUT HEY WHO IS COUNTING???) chance to get a college degree. They agreed to help, if I stayed on the honor roll. And if a college would TAKE me.

A local junior college did. GPC said I could have my umpty-somethingth chance…and I worked my tail off. I stayed on the honor roll .

That magical AA in theatre and communications CLOSED OFF the transcript nightmare. It was a degree. It was a FINISHED THING. It was ALL I needed to apply elsewhere, and so I had NO TRANSFER CREDITS at Georgia State.

I simply went in as a junior, with all my passed erased by that magical AA. OH GCP! LET US HUG IT OUT.

I graduated with honors, a thing I NEVER could have done with all those MISERABLE transcripts tailing me forever. And that helped me get into grad school where I got serious about writing fiction instead of plays and met Lydia, the first member of the vital writing posse that has most shaped my work etc so on and on world without end amen.

In short, I am very, very eternally grateful to GPC.

So they asked me to be part of their new ad campaign and I said yes…

AND NOW I AM ON BUSSES. Seriously. ON BUSSES. Looking FOAMINGLY insane and just SO HAPPY to be on a bus. Which is accurate, on both counts.

So. On busses, I look like this:

I want a picture of a BUS with me on it – DESPERATELY. If you live or work in Atlanta, and you see me on a bus, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, snap a phone pic and Shoot it to me in an email.

If you KNOW anyone in Atlanta, ALERT THEM TO THIS! Tweet it, facebook, ask anyone who knows ANYONE in Altanta to get me a pic of this. Because, OH MY BEST BELOVEDS, I think this is a once in a lifetime thing. I do not know many people who are on city busses TWICE.

The sender of the picture will be lavished with MANY FINE PRESENTS, including, but NOT AT ALL limited to, A SECRET SURPRISE THING, some signed first editions (a couple of mine, and one by a mystery guest author) a Pez head dispenser, and an object to be determioned later but that is either shaped like a monkey or bears the image of a monkey.

Also, if you are the person who ALERTS the sender of the picture, and they TELL ME OF YOU, you will also get a nice package of goodness.

There are ALSO billboard and print ads, and yes I WOULD like to know where the billboard is and see a photo if someone sees it—but the BUS. The bus is the great white whale, MOBY BUS AD, and you Oh best of all possible Best, Best, Best Beloveds, are the only harpoon I have. DEPLOY! DEPLOY!

22 comments to I’m on a Bus: Weirdest CONTEST Ever

  • Mir

    MOBY BUS AD! I am tempted to drive into the city JUST to harpoon one for you. 😉

  • I have alerted my Glitter Girls in ATL. I’m crossing fingers that they see the bus and you send gifts far and wide. So cool!

  • Beth

    I am heading to the airport on Marta, land of many buses, and will keep my eyes super peeled. Or something. And also retweet! Congrats!

  • How. Awesome! GPC was to be my great fix to my hideous transcript, as well, and I LOVED IT THERE. Then…kids happened, and then…we moved to Raleigh so no more GPC, unfortunately. The local junior college here is not so special, they are not tied to the state university system and you can actually take classes that the NC Universities do not accept as classes. I’m wondering why, but I guess just finishing some sort of associates would solve that problem. Anyway.

    Best. Contest. Ever. I shall alert my ATL friends of this awesomeness. So, is it #Mobybusad?

  • Aimee

    HOW COOL ARE YOU???! You’re on a bus!

    Is it wrong that part of me hopes that you have to search for a while, so I can start calling you Monomaniac Joshilyn?

  • So cool! I’m too far from Atlanta to help but will alert everyone I know in the area! 😉
    Can’t believe I am flying this week and am NOT going through Atlanta. Of course. But the bus! We accept your mission and we will find her!

  • Wow! Bus ads mean that you are a forreal celebrity. You know, JWOWW from Jersey Shore is on a bus too telling the world about tanning products. I don’t tell you that to make you feel better or worse about your bus add (except I secretly hope it makes you feel better because even though JWOWW is famous because she is kind of awful, she’s still famous and on a bus and I like her because she’s the sanest of the “cast” of Jersey Shore). Just the bus facts.

  • Em

    So… they probably won’t be advertising for GPC in Boston? Dernit!

  • Isn’t that the real measure of success? Getting on a bus? Very, very cool! Sorry I can’t help you much, seeing as how I’m up here in Seattle, but if you ever come to a bus or billboard near me, let me know.

  • edj

    That. Is. The. Coolest. Thing. Ever!!! WOW! I have never even been close to being on a bus, at least on the side of the bus, except British buses where you can sort of hang out the back. But it is not the same. I am wracking my brains as to if I know someone in Atlanta–I know someone who visited there but that is not the same thing. So I’m pretty sure I won’t win this one. Regardless, just wanted to say Congrats! and put in a plug for you to be on other buses in other cities. Just cuz it would be cool.

  • allison noakes

    It is so Sex in the City. You need to 1) Find the number of the bus. 2) Get the schedule of said bus. 3) Set up a martini bar where the bus will pass and have a huge toast!!! I wish I lived in Atlanta. Boo hoo.

  • Pandora Vox

    So my first thought was, “OMG! I only live 3 hrs from Atlanta and am off for the next 4 days so should drive there and look for Moby Bus” but that was shot down by the fact I just got home from having steroids fired into the little nerve bundles of my spine via my neck and therefore am not supposed to drive for at least 24hrs (anesthesia).
    And then I thought, “Joss is now just like Carrie Bradshaw!” *insert beginning credits of Sex in the City where she sees herself on the bus except it was you and you on the bus*

    So, CONGRATS! I think your bus picture is prettier than Carrie’s and your hair is shinier and if I could drive I would so drive to Atlanta and stalk the Marta buses looking for it!

  • Jessica

    I am absolutely nowhere near Atlanta, alas. However, I did read the “I’m on a bus” in the Old Spice guy’s voice, similar to how he says, “I’m on a horse.” So. There’s that.

    Congrats on the on-the-bus-being!

  • Brigitte

    I read too fast, and first thought you were literally going to be riding the bus! Too bad I don’t have the Photoshop mad skillz to fake it for you. 🙂

  • A. It is very cool you are on a bus.

  • DebR

    Lydia, YES to “B” – I thought the same thing!! That photo is a little freaky-eerie to me! But still Joss, very cool that you’re on a bus! I can’t help with the quest for MobyBus, not being in Atlanta or knowing off-hand of anyone else who is, but Yay for BusFame! However…I now have the song “I’m on a Boat” stuck firmly in my head as my earworm du jour. This is probably not an appropriate song to catch myself singing at work!!!!

  • CJ

    Most cool! Wonder what they do with the transit cards after they’ve completed their bus duties? Would MARTA save it for you and let you have it? No doubt in my mind that you could make THE COOLEST holiday cards with the fam and your very own transit card!

    Tangent: My mom and I once left a parking garage in DC with a ONE WAY sign that had fallen off the wall. Sorry, though, I don’t live close enough to Atlanta to happen to find anything that might “fall off” of a bus.

    Hope you get the pic soon!

  • I wish I lived in Atlanta just so I could see you on a bus and think, “I know her! Kind of! In the computer!”

    Hmm. Maybe it’s best that I’m in Boston instead.

    Anyway, congratulations on your bus coronation!

  • Linda J

    OMG congrats on the bus!!! Can’t wait for the audio of AGUKOP!!!

  • Elizabeth

    My entire family is on the lookout. Ok, well, maybe my brother, his wife and their kids. It’s the best I could do on Atlanta at such short notice.

  • Totally driving through Atlanta tomorrow on my way to Florida FOR A MEMORIAL SERVICE! But guess who’s stopping by the nearest terminal on my way? This girl?

    I’m beginning to think I may have a problem…

  • elizabeth

    Emailing you the bus picture RIGHT NOW!!!! So excited!