Okay, so I have decided to live. I think. I feel live-ish today, anyway, but I cannot just yet implement my Good Plan to Re-invent my Life.
Alas, my ultimate triumph over ALL ADVERSITY via Sheer Animal Will has been cancelled, due to a sad lack of Sheer Animal Will.
Instead of Sheer Animal Will, I have had a two week long influx of MUCUS.
But not PERMA-cancelled. Only put off until October 10th. No one is going to triumph over any adversity THIS week. I have two lit conferences and an audio book to read. The plan begins THEN.
No, really. The tenth. Assuming I don’t suddenly get a bowel torsion and have to be put down like an old horse; good GRIEF my body is making me tired.
Meanwhile, a DEAR old friend from the WAYYY back back—I have known her since middle school— is having some mental illness that is requiring medication to resolve. They’ve had some troubles nailing her dosage. She is a little…erratic just now. She passed through town recently and had a little catch up session, and over coffee, the name of a Mean Girl who made half of her high school experience smell like a poop-shoe came up, and her face contorted for a second and she yelled,
I STILL HOPE SHE DIES.
Then there was a slight, awkward pause and she half-laughed, embarrassed and said, I think my drugs are working well for anger management, don’t you?
I nodded. Vigorously. Encouragingly. And hastily said, Yes because if they were not you would have said you hope she dies in a fire.
Then we got tickled and it turned into all the MANY worse things she might have said, like IN A FIRE WHILE COATED WITH FLESH EATING BACTERIA.
Or IN A FIRE WITH A HOST OF FIRE-RESISTANT BEES WHO PERSONALLY BLAME HER FOR THEIR CURRENT CRISPING.
Or IN A FIRE WHILE BEING TRAMPLED BY FURIOUS GOATS WHO ESCAPE THE FIRE AND GO ON TO HAVE LONG PEACEFUL LIVES FULL OF JUICY GRASSES AND ‘NILLA WAFERS. (Because the only Goat I know personally is Sara’s and he LOVES ‘Nilla wafers, and I want the goats who trample the mean girl to have some, because not a single goat was mean to my currently troubled friend in high school.)
I say all this to say, the crazy is GOING AROUND. We are none of us alone with it.