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Thwartland is my Home

This, sent to me by Best Beloved Michelle W, speaks to me. It is called The Hand of God (Wrestling my Demons) and if ever a statue was a native of Thwartland, this is that statue.

Okay, so I have decided to live. I think. I feel live-ish today, anyway, but I cannot just yet implement my Good Plan to Re-invent my Life.

Alas, my ultimate triumph over ALL ADVERSITY via Sheer Animal Will has been cancelled, due to a sad lack of Sheer Animal Will.

Instead of Sheer Animal Will, I have had a two week long influx of MUCUS.

But not PERMA-cancelled. Only put off until October 10th. No one is going to triumph over any adversity THIS week. I have two lit conferences and an audio book to read. The plan begins THEN.

No, really. The tenth. Assuming I don’t suddenly get a bowel torsion and have to be put down like an old horse; good GRIEF my body is making me tired.

Meanwhile, a DEAR old friend from the WAYYY back back—I have known her since middle school— is having some mental illness that is requiring medication to resolve. They’ve had some troubles nailing her dosage. She is a little…erratic just now. She passed through town recently and had a little catch up session, and over coffee, the name of a Mean Girl who made half of her high school experience smell like a poop-shoe came up, and her face contorted for a second and she yelled,


Then there was a slight, awkward pause and she half-laughed, embarrassed and said, I think my drugs are working well for anger management, don’t you?

I nodded. Vigorously. Encouragingly. And hastily said, Yes because if they were not you would have said you hope she dies in a fire.

Then we got tickled and it turned into all the MANY worse things she might have said, like IN A FIRE WHILE COATED WITH FLESH EATING BACTERIA.


Or IN A FIRE WHILE BEING TRAMPLED BY FURIOUS GOATS WHO ESCAPE THE FIRE AND GO ON TO HAVE LONG PEACEFUL LIVES FULL OF JUICY GRASSES AND ‘NILLA WAFERS. (Because the only Goat I know personally is Sara’s and he LOVES ‘Nilla wafers, and I want the goats who trample the mean girl to have some, because not a single goat was mean to my currently troubled friend in high school.)

I say all this to say, the crazy is GOING AROUND. We are none of us alone with it.

8 comments to Thwartland is my Home

  • Maybe you could just en robe The Mean Girl from high school in a verdant,grass coat littered with ‘Nilla Wafers and let SARA’S goat GO. TO. TOWN. Just sayin’. Seeing as how you know a goat personally and all.

  • Haley

    The crazy is always going around, but it’s good to laugh about it when we can. I’ve been struggling with the crazies for months now, and at first I didn’t want to seek professional help, but then I read something Stephen Fry wrote about getting help for his bipolar disorder and that people shouldn’t suffer in silence. Apparently I need famous comedians to validate my need for psychiatric drugs. Works for me.

  • Jessica

    I just heard the best one today on the internet about a bad boss: I hope he gets a very itchy rash on his groin but has broken both his arms the day before so he can’t scratch. That sounds sufficiently torturous.

    Haley, I’ve been the same way (minus the famous comedians 😉 ). I finally got up the nerve to talk to my doctor on Monday about some issues I’ve been having that have been bothering me. I’m trying other things besides medication first, but if I need it, I’ll do it. I grew up with a bipolar mom who didn’t get the help she needed for years, so I should be better about looking after my mental health.

  • Don’t worry about the bowel torsion. Got that covered. Seriously. Bleah.

    But I know you will make the October 10th deadline and you will be so brightly cheery and wonderful that everyone will bask in your radiance. And pet your shining, soft and silky hair, marveling at their luck for simply being in your presence. *nodnodnod* It’s true.

    The crazies out here are all on the road. Swear to whatever-you-choose-to-swear-by, they’re nutso. But I gotta say, a shout like that at the SBC coffee shop where I am known by name would have gotten a round of applause and free coffee. Just sayin’.

  • JMixx

    I haz a sympathy. I haz *such* a sympathy that, after reading about your Thwartage, I immediately got sick. Came home from work Monday utterly exhausted, nearly half-asleep, and went to bed early. Felt a little funny on Tuesday; then by Wednesday, bleack!! I am still sniffling and snerfling and periodically moaning softly in misery. (Okay, I am being dramatic. I am not miserable. I am uncomfortable. And whiny.) But fortunately not currently depressed.

  • so there is hope in this world that we will be saved my mean trampling goats. I will stock up on the nilla wafers (double two for them one for me) so I can show appropriate graditude.

  • Brigitte

    Gee, I still hope they die, too. Even on my meds. Oopsie!

  • Les in AZ

    Is it true? Are you going to be at the Tucson book fair March 10-11! If so I can’t WAIT!!!!! I will drive the 4/5 hours to see you 🙂

    Hope your feeling better!