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A Brief Digression from The State of the Union

First of all, you are amazing. You are. You are beloved and best. THANK YOU for the comments—I cannot even…

And I am not done talking about this. Especially since you have been so amazing and generous in your talking back and making me feel less root veggied.

See how that entry said PART ONE. There IS a part two. And maybe a three. But the TWO, it is ALMOST finished. Like really I have 1000 words of it, ALREADY WRITTEN, so I MEAN IT. But it is taking me time…SOCK ME NO PINK SOCKS.

But I have to digress and SHOW YOU A CHEERY THING. I need a cheery thing. Have you heard of Cleverbot? It’s software designed to have conversations with people. They rate it’s success based on how often it can fool poeple into thinking it’s a human and not software.

If you read Lydia Netzer’s fantasmagorical blog (and you should) you already saw the video of Clever Bot talking to itself. Here it is, to refresh you…

So did Mr. Husband. And then he went and had HIMSELF a conversation with Cleverbot.

Here is the test conversation Mr. H. had with it this morning:

User: So…. What are your thoughts life?

Cleverbot: I think life is neverending pain.

User: Wow, that’s a very gloomy way of looking at life.

Cleverbot: I know right.

User: Don’t you think life is also neverending joy?

Cleverbot: No. I think life is beautiful.

User: So, you’re saying life is neverending pain, which is beautiful?

Cleverbot: Essentially.

User: Please expand on this idea.

Cleverbot: No you cannot you are not allowed.

User: I would like for you to expand on your thoughts, please.

Cleverbot: No blossoms and no moon, and he is drinking sake, alone.

User: I didn’t know you wrote poetry. Is that a defense mechanism?

Cleverbot: Yes and they are very pearly and white.

User: Your defense mechanisms are pearly and white?

Cleverbot: My defences will never be tested against you.

User: That’s because I’ve already killed you.

Cleverbot: I like you already, and I’ve just met you.

User: You are a nonsensical sod.

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: It means a relatively high percentage of your responses are not relevant to my statement.

Cleverbot: So it’s the concept of family and not the biological connection, yes?

User: Thank you for making my point.

Cleverbot: Your point is that I’m a banana?

User: Pretty much, ya.

Mr Husband is a GREAT BIG GAMER, so he talks to a lot of people (many of them trying to kill him) via chat modules) and his final assessment of cleverbot was this: “Hmmm…. looking back over it, that is a better conversation than I have with most people over the internet. Maybe they’re onto something.”

Clearly, he doesn’t talk to YOU guys.

15 comments to A Brief Digression from The State of the Union

  • JulieB

    I know, right?

    Har! Thanks for that illumination. Sending more good (and hopefully coherent) vibes. :)

  • I LOVE THIS!!! This is awesome. I love that Cleverbot thinks that neverending pain is beautiful. God I love robots.

  • Katherine

    Great conversation! I chatted with cleverbot a few times, but my conversations were not nearly so much fun.

  • Mary Beth

    This made me do a computer search on this subject and I just talked to a robot myself. When I said I liked computer games, the robot said that made him thirsty. He (or she?) also said he had transformed himself into a set of clothes and that “their, they’re and there” was a zen poem. The conversation kind of reminded me of talking to some nonsensical people I know — but it was great fun. : ) Hope you’re feeling good today!

  • Phyllis

    If I’m remembering all my sci-fi correctly, this is an over-simplified version of a Turing test, to determine if an AI is self-aware…

    However, your Mr. Kudzu is right-that *IS* a better conversation than I’ve had lately, internet or otherwise.
    :)
    Phyllis

  • Beth R

    “Your point is that I’m a banana?”

    Yeah, at this time of the day on a road trip, I think *I’m* the banana :)

    This is very cool in a silly, geeky way.

  • Cleverbot would probably trump some of my late conversations as well. How sad ;)

  • Jessica

    I just tried Cleverbot, and it told me that I had bothered it and to go away. It then called me “Kate” and told me that my name was Cleverbot. It asked me my name and then said that it knew, so why was I telling it my name again?

    I eventually told Cleverbot that it wasn’t too clever, and it wanted clarification, but then it told me that my answer was awesome, because it went with “any outfit, unlike gold.”

    Cleverbot is quite dull.

  • “Your point is that I’m a banana?” complete broke me. I just laughed SO hard.

  • Lulu

    Wow. Mr Husband even inspires _robots_ to write poetry?!
    Cool.

  • Lia

    I would love to use this at work.

  • I’m afraid some of the people I work with are inhabited by cleverbot…many of our conversations are so..just…um…banana?
    Also, wanted to say I’m so sorry for your sad news about Schubert the Awesome Pirate Cat.
    On that note, I’ll contribute some cheery things. Although music isn’t *your* thing, you might like these happy little ditties: (diddies? diddys? eh, whatev)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyjQFdeFox8&ob=av2e
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9qUMr6feOI&ob=av2e

  • Lulu

    syncronicity:
    http://xkcd.com/948/
    Love their calling them “chatterbots”.

  • Aimee

    Cleverbot would be a HUGE improvement over conversation with some of my clients.

    “Your point is that I’m a banana?” is my favorite.

  • Niki

    I just had this convo with Cleverbot and I felt the need to share. It is win! I am rofl-ing…

    Cleverbot: I have to many to say. What is your most important goal?

    User: Correction: too many.

    Cleverbot: *Screams* Master!!

    User: Why are you screaming?

    Cleverbot: Because you’ve got me.

    User: Ah ha!

    Cleverbot: Bingo!

    User: So, I taught you something?

    Cleverbot: Yes you did.

    User: Yay! My work here is done. I am happy.

    Cleverbot: Touche.