I am unpleasant.
I do not bathe.
The potted basil looks droopy and instead of getting the hose I think at it, “OH WAH, Cry, why don’t you, and hope your tears can water your OWN dern roots.”
I say things mean things to cat. (I say them in a NICE voice, so he doesn’t KNOW I am saying mean things. But I know. And they are meaner even then what I say to the basil.)
When I am like this, I do not like me, and SCOTT JUST LANDED IN ATLANTA!!! LALALALA!
SO. I am going to count my weird blessings to rattle myself out of it so I can get in the shower and smell nice and tell the cat nicer things and be the sort of person one WANTS to come home to… HENCE! THIS I LIKE!
This I Like: Jessica. I like Jessica. She won one of the little Fox dolls in my recent Spread the Word campaign thing, sent me a picture of her new home. HOW COOL IS SHE?
This I like: The ways in which Domino’s Pizza has gone full scale nuclear death war against Pizza Hut and Papa John’s and the other quasi-gross delivery pizzas. First they went to war by making their pizza suck SO MUCH LESS than it used to suck. It also now sucks MILES less than its competitors, and yes, yes I am damning it with faint praise, BUT STILL, there IS faint praise there.
(I am an admitted pizza snob. I am willing to have it half as often so I can justify spending twice as much to get a house pesto one from the good local place.)
If I cave to the children and order quasi-gross delivery pizza, I ALWAYS order Domino’s these days. Not ONLY because the pizza is better, but because you can watch the progress. The online ticker machine tells you stage by stage what is happening and who did what. AND NOW! BEST OF ALL! You can CHOOSE A THEME.
I ordered it last night in a fit of desperation because Scott was out of town, and I chose the ROMANCE NOVEL theme (probably, if one is being strictly honest, ALSO in a fit of desperation because Scott was out of town.)
See how it is all PINKLY INFUSED WITH DARKLING MAUVE and KISSING people, and it made Trilling Music when I chose it. Best of ALL, during the transitions, a throaty Latino MAN would talk to me, a man who sounded like (but probably was not) Antonio Banderas, and he would say romatical pizza things to me.
Like, when it went in the oven, he said, “I am baking your pizza! I am baking your pizza with the fires of my passion!”
This makes me want to order MORE quasi-gross delivery pizza so I can try MORE themes. WELL PLAYED, DOMINOS. WELL PLAYED.
This I Like: Re-Blogged From Dan Meth.
I am trying to decide which one I am, but I think I may well be THREE of them. My tail fell off, my ancestor is Trespassers William, I could VERY easily stick in my own front door these days…pass the scrips.
This I Like: Bourbon. If you follow me on twitter you know I recently had a pretty serious falling out with Vodka. We utterly divorced, and I began seeing Moose Tricks (you may know him as Buffalo Trace.) And I LIKE Moose Tricks, btu I wanted a broader snobbier, palette. SO! I recently ordered a BOURBON TASTING flight at a pool hall Decatur, and when they brought it, it was not so much a “flight” as a “trip to the hospital with alcohol poisoning.” LOOK AT IT:
GOOD LORD. This is not a flight you want to FINISH, is what I am saying. I took a few sips of each in a round robin until my blood started to feel like it was made of molten iron. I STOPPED flighting (and the next day received a lovely fruit bouquet from my appreciative liver), but I did get a good feel for them. MY fave was the light and delicious Basil Hayden and Scott’s was the raw, red, cowboy-style Bulliet, which I ranked second, eben though they were OPPOSITES. I quite liked Knob Creek and Booker, but Baker’s tastes like rat medicine. AWFUL rat medicine. Your sick rat might sniff at it and choose death.
OKAY SO HELP ME ME OUT, oh My Best Beloveds. Can you hook me up— Link me or tell me —to some thisses YOU like. I need a bigger list to triumph over ALL THIS GRUMP I HAVE. My poor maligned cat will thank you.