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My Mortal Enemy, Part the ONEth. (Scroll down for PART NILth)

Boggart has had his moments...

I am gathering from the comments that many of my beloveds think I am sillypantsing, and in the end, My Mortal Enemy will turn out to be The Boggart (not a bad call, all things considered) or, maybe, roaches, which okay. You could make a case for that.

DIGRESSION: Monday night I took the dogs out for a pre-bedtime pee and a roach came roaring out of the gloaming and RAN ACROSS MY BARE FOOT WITH ITS WHISPERY DRY HAIRY ROACH FEET.

I very nearly died. I could FEEL my brain trying to turn itself inside out and perish before the knowledge that the FEET OF IT!!!! THE RUSTLING, DRY, LEAF-CORPSEY FEET OF IT!!!! had touched my SKIN could get all the way up my spine. I DO want them ALL dead, ALL ALL ALL, even the little baby roaches, even the saintly old granny ones in rockers. So yes. Tha’s pretty mortal and enem-aphorous.

But no. I mean a person. This may well be my first LEGITMATE, ACTUAL, FLESHLY My Mortal Enemy since middle school. Everyone has 1 or 6 or 432 in Middle School. But not as adults, right?

Well, turns out? No. And this feels NEW for me in that the last time I felt I had a true mortal enemy I could not legally drink or vote or even drive.

The Mustache-Crazyeye combo is a major douche cue

Oh sure, there have been people, in the past, that I have CALLED My Mortal Enemy. Humans who by act or attitude irked me SO deeply I named them the name, but none had the SUBSTANCE of actual malevolence.

In grad school, for example, there was a sluggy, sexist piece of crap named Redacted McButthole who tried his best to poop on anything not written about great phallic sailing lonely wolfman hero YAY Nietzsche! man war wangers… but I was in league with a triumvirate of mighty and moderately evil women, all of whom were smarter than he was, so he could make no serious headway on behalf of the patriarchy. A My Mortal Enemy has to be an actual THREAT in some way, you know?

And later on, there have been Internetians I CALLED My Mortal Enemy, but they never even truly reached Nemesis status. They were irritants at best, people who did things like…

OH here is an example: when I blogged about painting my guest room a rather violent shade of orange (you know how I feel about orange, and if you do not, I can nutshell it here for you in five words: I feel SUPER about orange!) this M.M.E. penned for me a LONG earnest e-mail about why that was a terribad idea…including how MOST people do not feel NEARLY as SUPER about orange as I do, and why would I assault my guests’ eyes in this way, and what GUESTS want is a peaceful Moss Green and GOLD sort of experience with maybe a touch of cranberry as an accent.

This M.M.E. was ALWAYS sending me long chatty e-mails in response to blog entries, explaining why what I was doing was wrong and a bit dim, and laying out a plan for me to be–think-do-choose better. SO NOT KIDDING. It never spoke in the comments, always DIRECT and EXCRUTIATINGLY HELPFUL in pointing out where I was going wrong, and making plans for me to improve….SO intrusive and overly personal, like we were longtime besties and she was telling me things that might HURT at first, but really it was to help me out. This M.M.E. even took to calling me JOSSY, like it thought it was my MOTHER—Mom only living human who calls me that.

This went on for, oh, A YEAR or so, until eventually the fact that I NEVER ONCE ANSWERED the M.M.E. Wannabe, or blogged about it, or responded or encouraged or struggled against it in any way…well eventually the M.M.E wandered off into traffic and was killed, or, more likely, went to benefit some more responsive other with her GREAT AND HELPFUL WISDOMS.
These types of peoples have in the past been deemed worthy of the title ONLY by my penchant for hyperbole.

THIS is an ACTUAL Mortal Enemy.

I will say that tt is a writer of some renown. It is going to be an it on here, and I will change some other identifying details to not engage directly in an overt war with it by badmouthing it un-anonymously on the Internets, because…I would lose that war. It would go to greater lengths than I am willing to go because it already has malevolence toward me, while I only have RIGHTEOUS ANGER and BAFFLEMENT toward it.

This person just flat hates me; hated me before we met, I think, and, based on subsequent behaviors, I’d guess meeting me only made it a redder, richer feeling. I will tell you some specific mortal enemy evidences next post. Today I am just establishing its actual existence.

I am a little shocked by it, because I don’t WANT it. I hate conflict of any sort. Gives me HIVES.

But I would be lying if I didn’t say that the WRITER part of me wants to sit down with you (and cookies. OH please let there be cookies) and vivisect the idea of someone hating a near stranger THIS much, wishing a fellow human who has not killed and eaten puppies ALL kinds of ill. It hurts and it enrages me by turns, but it also piques my interest. Why spend the energy doing everything they can to make any day where our paths intersect less pleasant via any means that present themselves?

What about you? When (if ever) was the last time you had a person who genuinely wished ill was upon you, and did their utmost to help ill get a leg up if it happened to pass by? I ask because I am flummoxed on how to act next time our paths cross—AND THEY WILL! I just said to Kira, talking about this human, “I am sure Jesus loves Name. I am not sure HOW, because, UGH, but I am sure he manages.

So how did you handle it? High road? Low road? Hiding? Ninja-assassins? And if Ninja-Assassins, did you happen to keep their business cards? *angelic smile*

29 comments to My Mortal Enemy, Part the ONEth. (Scroll down for PART NILth)

  • Em

    What kind of dummy doesn’t like you? What’s not to like? Clearly we have a very confused person on our hands here.

    I had a mortal enemy at work not long ago. She snipped about me behind my back, she refused to do things I needed her to do when I was in charge and was basically a pain in my butt. We ended up having a code on a person who we absolutely did not expect to ever code in a million years and it shook us both up. During it, I even said to her, “we will never ever be doing this again. This will only ever happen once” (I was also trying to calm myself down). It didn’t seem important after that (and she stopped being such a bitch). I don’t suggest you use this approach but it worked at the time. My suggestion for you is to make this person a character in your next book and feed him or her rat poison. That’d be fun.

  • Jennifer Tobin

    I don’t think I’ve had a mortal enemy. I’ve had people who didn’t much like me. And people I didn’t much like. Sometimes they were even the same people. Mostly we were all too lazy to do much more than occasionally badmouth each other behind backs. You probably make more of an impact than I ever do and have attracted a crazy. Weird because you seem very likable.

  • Karen

    I find that pity really ticks off mortal enemies. Lets you take the high road cloaked in smugly smugness while tsk-tsking about how sad it is someone is so small and sad.

    I had a mortal enemy at work, too, but I didn’t know it. Apparently, she despised me for that breathing thing I’m wont to do. She’d tell all of her besties of her loathing, and then when she’d break with her besties, they all came to me and told me of her despising that rivaled Snow White’s stepmother’s. And that’s when I decided to pity the fool and that really pissed her off.

    And I agree with Em. Whoever this “it” is, it be crazy.

  • Michelle-who-is-Shelley

    I already have my hackles up in an “I-will-help-defend-you-against-this-horrible-person” attitude. (Not because I think we “know” each other, or b/c we are besties or friends – don’t worry), but because I get absolutely livid when things like this happen. I have not had it happen to me, because I am not in the public eye in any way, but because of your books, you have put yourself out there, and those of us who read your novels and blog are extremely grateful that you took that leap and wrote the books that we so love to read. It is not right that you should be punished for the gift that you give with your writing. It is just not right.

    It reminds me of the Natalie Maines/Dixie Chicks thing so many years ago. I was (and still am) a huge fan of their music. There they were at a concert in London with a crowd of people that are all riled up from an anti-war rally, and they are trying to joke around with the crowd to get them in a friendlier mood and Natalie off-handedly says the sentence that ruins her life. She got DEATH THREATS. Adults were telling their children to HATE her, and encouraging them to stomp on her CD’s and take pleasure in that violence against someone they didn’t even know. The result? No more music from the Dixie Chicks. She was afraid for her children.

    I have a relative who approved of the parents who did all of that. He said to his young son: “we should go out and buy the CD just so we can break it.” Such an idiotic statement to start out with aside from the wrongness of it. I still have not managed to figure out that kind no-basis-in-reality hatred. Flummoxed is exactly the word.
    The one thing I am wondering is if this nemesis of yours is male. The above-mentioned relative is a man who “doesn’t like mouthy females who don’t know their place.” Grrrr. But I am anti-conflict like you are, so I have not said any of this to his face — thus the outpouring of it here on your comments page. (Sorry).

  • Have I had a mortal enemy? One of my siblings hated me for a few years, and that was deeply painful. I’ve had people from whom I’ve sensed loathing – some were patients, even – but in general the people who dislike me usually express it passive-aggressively. Your situation sounds like more direct conflict.

    Hatred is an emotion I work very hard not to feel, but some people are taught to nurse a grudge. A few even seek them out. (I love the term “offence collector.”)

    Want a quote that always cheers me up? (Sam, cover your eyes.) “Don’t try to win over the haters, you’re not the jackass whisperer.” ~Scott Stratten

    😀

  • Jabberwocky

    You have just described my MIL. Really. And darned (Hi Sam!) if I know. But can you pit your mortal nemesis against mine? I’ll bring the popcorn.

  • Sandi

    I was going to say my last mortal enemy was in high school, and I dealt with him very poorly. As in saying to him, “I want to rip your face off right now,” and him replying with a smirk, “Go ahead,” and me going ahead. And then him knocking me to the floor of the van and beating on my arm hard enough to leave a bruise but it was okay because it was in November and I wore long sleeves and he couldn’t cover the scratches on his face. But I don’t recommend that method anymore.

    However, I remembered that I did have a mortal enemy at work a year or so ago. She was very sneaky and morally superior. She backed me into a corner in an office and told me that I was bossy and pushy and she talked to our supervisor about me and if I didn’t stop it she was going to talk to him again and have me fired. She said it with that prissy mouth and head waggle that… well, it made me want to rip her head off. But I didn’t. This time I cried and apologized and tried to curb my tendency to act like I know everything. And I waited her out, and the supervisor was fired and she quit.

    As for cookies, well, I made World Peace cookies today. They are the perfect cookie for this situation. I would offer to send you some except a) that would make me sound a bit stalker-ish, and b) they’re all gone. But they’re super easy to make, all deep, dark cocoa and tiny chocolate bits, buttery and a little salty and melt-in-your-mouth-y. The original recipe can be found here: http://cookbookhabit.blogspot.com/2009/02/tuesdays-with-dorie-world-peace-cookies.html

  • Jessica

    Wait, someone doesn’t like you? That doesn’t seem right…

    Anyway, I had this lady I used to work with who hated me. I never spoke to her and she never spoke to me, but word got around that she was badmouthing me and saying terrible (untrue) things to my other coworkers. Whenever someone would bring me news of what she was saying, I’d say, “How would she know anything about me? She’s never talked to me and she doesn’t know me.”

    People were asking me if I hated her and whatnot (trying to fuel the office “drama” fire — but I figured if I didn’t add fuel, there wouldn’t be much drama near me), and I’d always reply, “I don’t know her at all, so I really have no feelings about her at all, to be honest.”

    Yeah, word got back to me that that set her off even more. Who did I think I was, not having feelings for her? I’d always smile when I saw her in the hallway and pretend I didn’t know who she was. It was wonderful. I never did figure out why she hated me when she didn’t even remotely know me from Eve, but that was her problem, not mine.

    IT isn’t worthy of your time or worry. I wish I had a ninja assassin card for you. Come to think of it, that would have saved me a few years of stress about that other lady if I had one myself…

  • Jess H

    I don’t really have any helpful advice, but at the end where you mentioned ninjas, and the whole cookie thing, made me really want to tell you about ninja bread men cookie cutters. Not lying! I found them on ThinkGeek. If you’ve never visited this website you are missing a treat. From them I purchased an actual white chocolate zombie bunny for my husband’s Easter basket. Brill!

  • Christine in Los Angeles

    My Mum had thoughts on this type of meanie; she’d say “well, while they’re picking on you, they’re leaving someone else alone, and you have us, so he/she can’t really hurt you.” Remember, sweetie, you have us, and we could gang-up on the MME, and do some serious hurtin’.
    God bless, Christine in Los Angeles

  • Jennifer in NC

    My theory is the MME is just jealous of your superior writing ability! My experience with people like this is that they are usually deep-down unhappy and want to engage others in their anger and misery. Clearly this is an insane person–what’s not to like about you??? I say kill your MME with kindness. Easier said than done, but I know you can do it!

  • Brigitte

    My dad’s old buddy from his teen years, that he still sees every year, is some sort of crime lord (dad’s never inquired too closely). Maybe he’s got ninja assassins on his staff . .

  • Shelley

    Is it possible that MME is the same as former anti-orange stalker blogger? People don’t like being ignored, especially opinionated idiots. It’s amazing how out of line some people are. I can’t imagine trying to undermine co-workers or peers, it’s hardly making any organization or community a better place.

    My hubby’s sister has decided to be his MME and being a relative we can’t go with the never see her at all option. So I choose to be nice and pretend she hasn’t been totally out of line and destructive and inquire about her kids but nothing real. Hubby just avoids her altogether. Unhappily distressed about it for sure. Nobody likes being hated for no bloody good reasons, especially when they aren’t given the oppotunity to defend themselves first. Still, you know you don’t deserve to be hated. Therefore you theoretically should know that they are just an idiot and to be pitied but not bothered by. Hopefully they won’t escalate into actual destructive tactics. Good luck.

  • DebR

    Ok, so…concerned then, not amused. Got it.

    My last full-blown MME was in college. He was a roommate of my at-that-time-boyfriend – a guy I dated for 3 1/2 years, was crazy about & truly thought would someday be my husband (although I turned out to be wrong about that – which as it turns out was not a bad thing – it would not have worked out).

    This bf’s roommate hated the very air that I breathed & the feeling was entirely mutual. If you asked him why he hated me, I imagine he’d have given you some hot air about “bros before ‘hos” and how I was spoiling what should be this fun, wild-oats-sowing party time for his bestie by tying him down to one mere woman, and not a great woman at that.

    If you ask me why he hated me, I believed then and still believe now that it was plain, old-fashioned, green-eyed-monster, romantic/sexual jealousy. I think he wanted my bf to be HIS bf – but if I’d ever said that to him (which I never did) he’d have vehemently & indignantly denied it and hated me even more because he was so deeply in the closet he wouldn’t have been willing to admit those feelings even to himself, never mind to me or to the object of his obsession. But I KNEW he was totally, IN LOVE with this guy I was dating. (I’ve wondered from time to time since then if he ever got to the place of being willing to admit he’s gay.)

    As to why I hated him – well of course partly because he had the bad taste to hate me first, but also because he was a creepy, lying, manipulative, sleazy, nasty-minded jerk. I really think I’d have despised him even if he had liked me. He was not a nice person. AT ALL.

    I’m not sure if how I handled things at the time it even matters after all this time because it’s not how I would handle it now. Now? – I’d break up with the boyfriend & get them BOTH out of my life because many years of experience since then have shown me that anyone who would be best friends with someone as nasty as that is no one I need in my life anyway. Of course that is NO help whatsoever regarding your situation.

    I’ll be curious to hear more about what’s been going on with your MME. Then maybe one of your best beloveds (maybe not ME…heh…but SOMEONE) will have a brilliant idea of how to handle this situation!

  • Barbie

    While I was planning a ninja attack on the worst MME-Boss of my career, a very wise fortune cookie stopped me cold in my tracks. The fortune read “Do not be afraid of opposition. A kite rises against the wind.” And sure enough, it worked. Zen wins, every time.

  • Aimee

    Wow, a real live Mortal Enemy. And a human one, at that! It has been a while since I’ve had one of those, but I shall tell you how I vanquished the last one. This was someone who was my immediate supervisor in the very first job I had out of school. She was not a good person. She had a drinking problem, and would go out and get drunk at lunch. She also pawned off all her work on me and then took credit for it. She talked about me behind my back and basically did everything she did to make me look bad. A true ninja move was needed, because she somehow managed to have the ear of the department head, and he had NO IDEA of her true nature. And I? Was so excrutiatingly junior that the mere thought of going to the dept head to talk about what was really going on caused me to curl up and die. SO. In the midst of this I got a call from a headhunter. He was looking for someone who did what my MME ostensibly did (even though I was doing all of her work). SO I recommended her for the job, she got it and left me in peace, and I sent my MME to work for the competition and be THEIR pain in the ass instead of mine.

    I truly believe that with you and ALL of the Best Beloveds, we will figure out a way to vanquish your MME and make it look like an act of kindness. *beams benevolently*

  • JulieB

    Oooh. Aimee had a stroke of _brilliance._

    Some suspicions: the MME is jealous of you and sees writing as a zero-sum business. Your success is threatening his/her own sales. (No, but that is how MME thinks) Your success threatens his/her contract, time with the editorial staff, whatever – if MME works with any of the people you happen to work with. If not, MME is threatened by your reviews.

    I think, since there are so many people in the world, and statistically, it’s pretty close to 50/50 between male and female, you could reveal the MME’s gender, because that would allow us to speculate wildly and rashly and stereotypically (“A male thinks women only write “chick lit”” “a female is being catty”) but it’s your MME and you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

    Of course, I like the benevolent ignorance approach Karen suggested. It really worked for me years back as a reporter when I had to pass through a territorial secretary anytime I needed a quote from the mayor. But I also really love the idea of making this person a character in one of your books. I have heard that people don’t recognize themselves when they’ve been fictionalized, and you could do some very nasty things to this person. And really, how would the MME prove it? MME would have to admit reading your books (probably not going to) and then admit to being a churlish/moronic/snippy or whatever.

    *grin*

  • Chris

    RuPaul said it best, “it’s none of your business what other people think about you.” In other words, this is entirely your MME’s problem and you shouldn’t have to think of a solution. That being said, you do have to look out for yourself and make sure this person doesn’t actually do anything to harm you, so. Whatever steps you take, be on the high road. Good luck.

  • LaurieB

    Well, “it’s” dislike for you shall be banished by our (your fans) loyal and admiring support! Take heart, it just shows the strength of your character and talent that someone is so jealous of you, can’t come to terms with that jealousy, thus expressing it as hatred. And now I hang up my (fake)psychologist hat.

    I have Asbergers and have had to deal with folks discomfort all my life. Some are so uncomfortable they express it in anger and hatred. It’s hard but people with Asbergers are said to have been born without the social gene and we bring it on ourselves. On the flip side, I know my friends are truly exceptional because they can overlook my social awkwardness and enjoy our friendship despite that awkwardness. To misquote Spencer Tracy just a little, “There aren’t many but what’s there is cherce.”

  • Chris of the Woodwork

    Plainly said, I hate it when people don’t like me. I am the consummate approval junkie, which is why when I email you in person-like, I then email you yet again to apologize for emailing you because you may have taken offense at something I’ve said.

    I am a sad lot.

    Having said that, I must admit that I have recently had what I believe to be the same problem here at work (yes, I read blogs at work sometimes) with a certain unnamed individual. I believed this individual was treating me with disrespect in front of others and didn’t LIKE me, even though we’ve never had many conversations, much less business dealings together.

    So I determined to take the biblical route. “If you have anything against your brother, go to him first…” rather than talking about Person behind Person’s back. Problem was, I was so upset by it by the time I went to talk with Person that I literally let Person have it with both guns instead of talking it out calmly and saying, “Why do I pi$$ you off so much? What do you have against me?”

    Not helpful.

    In the end we seem to have worked it out. Person is now treating me better, and I am calmer and less likely to blow Person’s head off. In the figurative sense, of course.

    My advice is to CALMLY talk about it with It, directly and openly, and ask It what the problem is and what you can do to fix it, if anything. At least you’ll show that you acknowledge there is a problem, that you actually care about fixing it, and you may gain some respect for facing it head on.

    Takes some intestinal fortitude sometimes, but it really is worth it in the end. It’s sure to get rid of the heart and stomach cramps sooner.

  • Oh man, I had a MME in college. On the FIRST DAY OF ORIENTATION, she decided that my roommate was going to be her one and only bestie and I was thus IN THE WAY AND MUST BE DESTROYED. I had never been hated before (and am not aware that I have been since), especially in such a direct, personal way. It flabbergasted me.

    I went out of my way to be nice and respectful to her. Because that’s what reasonable, sane people do, right? She went out of her way to make my life miserable, for more than two years. This was in big as well as in tiny, maddening ways. She actively tried to convince my roommate (and closest friend in school) not to room with me again (and failed). She’d try to get everyone else on the hall to go to lunch together before I got there and could join in. The badmouthed me to hallmates and tried to align them all against me, too.

    One day she actually burst into my room and screamed at me for pouring out her shampoo in the shower… which I didn’t do (I didn’t keep personal track of whose bottle of shampoo was whose, for one thing… AND I wouldn’t do something so petty, for another). Probably one of our other more-than-a-dozen hallmates accidentally knocked it over and she’d left it open so it spilled out. But she went to shower, found it lying on its side and emptyish, and concluded that OF COURSE it was my fault, as her very own personally selected MME! And she would NOT believe that it wasn’t due to a dastardly plan of mine to ruin her shower. Ugh.

    The stupid thing is that it’s now more than 12 years later, and I still get that sick knot in my stomach when I see she’s commented on my former roommate’s Facebook page. Just because it reminds me that she exists and is probably still out there, hating me. How silly is that?

    So, not a total success story, I’m afraid. I’ve been not liked before, and I totally get and can deal with that, but the hatred? The pure, unadulterated wishing for grievous bodily ill that came my way from her? I still can’t wrap my brain around it. It makes no SENSE. The worst part has always been that my mind keeps worrying away at the totally ridiculous but mind-wormy thought that maybe, just maybe, I did something to MAKE her hate me and just don’t remember. What did I do? What could I have done differently? Did I bring it on? YUCK.

  • Kathy

    Wow! A MME! Why must some people be so petty? If you don’t like someone then you avoid them as much as possible and kill them with kindness/politeness/pity when you can’t. Not sure what to do with an evil perpetrator of malevolent deeds though. Is this IT person actually trying to perpetrate? BTW, the “name” IT reminds me of that evil clown thing….*shudder*.

  • I had an MME in high school. She was dating a good friend of mine, and decided that as long as I was going to be friends with him she was going to make my life miserable. I plead teenager-hood and poor judgement on my response, which was basically to decide that if she was going to be crazy jealous of me, I might as well give her a reason to be.
    My second MME came along right after I graduated high school. I’m not sure whether she just hated me because she liked my boyfriend, or whether she just hated me for no good reason and felt the boyfriend was a good place to start focusing her crusade against me. But her work was thorough enough that, 10 years later, I’d still be perfectly happy to never see her again.

  • me

    I don’t have an answer that does not involve ninjas (I thought I had the ninja’s business card but I can’t seem to find it anywhere …), except for maybe moving all its books to a different section in the bookstore, like self-help or auto repair. Mainly I posted to say I am totally stealing Redacted McButthole. (Not the person. The fake-name.) Ha!

  • I take the high road with mortal enemies: be really nice to their face, then talk shit about them behind their backs or in vague status updates on Facebook. That’s high road, right?
    And ps, roaches make me die also, and I get medieval when there is a fly in my house.

  • Oh, Jan, this so totally cracked me up. . .laughing with tears streaming. . .

    “Don’t try to win over the haters, you’re not the jackass whisperer.” ~Scott Stratten

    Jossy. . .I mean Josh. . .I mean, well, you KNOW what I mean, you are Practically Perfect in Every Way, so this person is OBVIOUSLY delusional. 🙂 I, like you, am totally and completely flabbergasted by this turn of events. More than ANYTHING, I am sad that you are having to spend even ONE MICRO MINUTE of thought time pondering this situation and what it entails. Seriously. You came close to not being very recently, and you are writing ANOTHER book, and you have a life and a family and an entire MENAGERIE of which to take care. . .plus all of us who think you are incandescent as an author and a real, live human being even if we don’t know you FOR REAL.

    I kind of had an MME at work–she was on my teaching team and I drew her ire the first year I was at the school. It was not pleasant. The SECOND year we worked together, I kind of had somewhat of a collapse–too many major life events piled atop me for several years and WHAM. Not a pleasant landing. So finally in the spring, she asked me to her room one day after school (NOT a good sign–my stomach was in knots) and said, “You know. . .you really, REALLY drive me crazy. What EXACTLY is your problem???” Yes. She DID. My answer was, “Well, I am sorry that I drive you crazy, and my problem is that I was diagnosed with clinical depression four months ago, so just getting to work and taking care of my family is about all the emotional energy I have to spend. I don’t need you as a friend, and I can’t make you happy. I think you are a great teacher, though I doubt you would have the same to say about me. So, you will just have to be driven crazy, because this is it–all I got.”

    It didn’t necessarily help, but I SAID it nicely. She still thinks I’m an idiot, and I still find her to be a deeply unhappy person–both with herself and the world at large. I don’t think that helps you AT ALL, except to say that my hope is you do not spend ONE MORE SECOND worried about this unless there is some danger of physical harm. . .then call the cops, the ninjas, AND the jack@ss whisperers to come take this person DOWN. Those of us who know better than to call you “Josh” for real would be happy to help too.

  • Myra

    I used to think Kathie Lee Gifford was M.M.E. Then I realized she lives a life more stressed than my own, just trying to maintain being Kathie Lee Gifford.

  • Lia

    I’ve probably had some. I just ignore it. My theory is that I have more important things in life to worry about than someone who hates me. If they were someone I’d have to interact with on a daily basis/family/co-worker or of that sort it would be an acknowledge of their existence with a soft smile and a nod or a casual “Hi” and not encouraging any interaction other than that. Eventually and usually they end up making themselves look worse. Or the point in hating you is completely lost.

  • Scottsdale Girl

    I have to say that every mortal enemy I had, I ended up making a friend out of. Oh sure there was kerfluffle prior to said friendships but I find it easier to figure out what I liked about them and make them a friend. Or at least an ally. It sucks to know someone doesn’t like you for whatever reason