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from Cake Wrecks: it looks like they needed a little more...cake room

It’s our anniversary today. 17 years. Not a very exciting one, really. Scott and I are unmoved—We call it, The Meh Anniversary.

LAST YEAR we were all kinds of excited about it. SIXTEEN! That was the year my marriage finally got old enough to drive. WHEE! We car shopped for our marriage, and picked it out a custom pumpkin orange completely restored karmann ghia with a black soft top convertible roof. It was a whole big thing.

This year, all my marriage can do is get into R Rated movies, and to be frank, my marriage has long been buying tickets to Disney Films and then cool-breezing right into the R theatre. That’s just how my marriage rolls.

Next year, my poor marriage will get the responsibility of VOTING, and while it will do its civic duty, as I do, I can’t help but pity it. LORD, what with politics in such an ugly state—It is a swampland, a bipartisan smear-covered hate fest with lies and tricksy rhetoric and endless spin. Who needs THAT added to the nicenesses of having and holding, the loving and the cherishing? (I skipped obey.)

You can go on the internet, if the R Rated Movie Anniversary does not thrill you, either, and try to look up what anniversary the 17th is on one of those charts…

You know the charts, right? it goes, like, year one is Paper, then year two is the Cotton anniversary, then Leather, followed by Adultery, Meth, Hives, Secret love child, and the ever popular Stormy Public Divorce year.

Oh wait, my bad. That was the celebrity anniversary guide.

The TRADITIONAL one goes paper, cotton, leather, flowers, wood, sugar, etc. up to crystal on year fifteen. Then 16 – 19—NOTHING. The traditional chart stops caring all the way up until you get dishes or a trip to the far east on the 20th .

The MODERN chart feels like we need more conspicuous consumerism in our daily married lives, and suggest furniture. WHich does make the year SLIGHTLY more practically useful, if not interesting.

Because that is a picture of my current couch arm—-you are thinking cats right? But no! That couch wreck is courtesy of Bagel, The Teething Years. And that’s just the most obvious trouble! Bagel also chewed open EVERY cushion, so they can never be flipped. And Maisy has practiced Gymnastics on the arm, so that it is about to fall off onto the ground, chewed open chunk and all. And Sam, when little, would march back and forth across it, like a tiny Hannibal crossing the Sof-alps. So. We got each other a sofa.

It was the same sofa, so we ended up with just the one.

The next anniversary I will be excited about is 21. The Vodka Anniversary. My kinda year.

But the boringness of the possible gifts for this year aside, the ongoing good part? Is super, super, super good. In fact, the good part is the best thing going:

17 years ago I married my fella, the one I liked the best of all, and he is still my very favorite.


19 comments to Happy

  • Couches come and go, but the man with whom you SIT on the couch–that one SHOULD be your fave. Glad he is. We are reaching voting anniversary June 12th. Which is also our son’s 10th birthday, hence we’ve not really HAD an anniversary in 10 years. It’s kind of like being born in leap year or something–we probably won’t get to celebrate our anniversary on our actual anniversary for at least another 8+ years–but we like the boy better than a sofa–or dinner out. πŸ™‚

  • Beth R

    Happy anniversary! It’s pretty obvious to the internet that you are a great match πŸ™‚

  • I SO get that Roxanne — Scot;s birthday is Feb 25, ad mine is Feb 27.

    Sam was born Feb 26th! We just abdicated our birthdays and let him have it. Which means we DO really tend to celebrate our anniversaries quite heartily!

  • Em

    Happy Anniversary! I’m glad you married the one you like best. He must be a pretty special guy (and definitely a lucky one). Enjoy your day and your sofa!

  • Oh, happy anniversary!

  • Happy Anniversary and Congratulations and Yahoo and Yippee for You! Marrying your best friend is really what it’s all about, and even through the quiet, kinda shrugged off landmarks, they’re still the best thing going. You two are touchstones for Lillian and me; we watch you being happy through the years and we are reassured that it can and does last!

    So once again, congratulations, and may many more dance your way!

  • Katherine

    Happy anniversary! I’m so glad to know that my next anniversary is the vodka one. Of course, we don’t do a whole lot to celebrate, often as it is 4 days after Christmas. We’re often on the road heading home from his folks.

    We have the birthday cluster too – not quite as bad, but within a week at the end of March we have both my parents, me and my 15 yo son. I’ve taken to celebrating my birthday during spring break, usually early April. It’s better all around.

  • JulieB

    Happy Anniversary!

  • Well, then. Sounds like sofa needs some breakin’ in. Welcome it to your home so to speak. πŸ™‚

  • Michelle-who-is-Shelley

    Happy Anniversary. I just celebrated my 23rd Anniversary on the 27th – the day before yours. 23 is kind of a “meh” anniversary number too, but we had a little uniqueness thrown into this one because we were both 23 years old when we got married. As my husband said, “we have been married as long as we have not been married.”

    I mirror your sentiments at the end of your blog, and posted something similar on my FB about marrying my best friend and loving him more than I could have imagined when I was a newlywed. Got all kinds of “likes this” from other women friends. Hubby, however, said : “I just threw up a little in my mouth.” He does not do well with mushy. πŸ™‚

    P.S. I did not get the “MjΗ«lnir” joke, but I said it to both my husband and my son and they both busted up laughing. They want to hear more Scott jokes.

  • rams

    Oh dear. We’re at 33, which the worst Easter book for children I ever saw would suggest might be the Bucket of Nails anniversary, which I decline.

  • Mir

    Him still being your favorite and you still being his is the best possible anniversary gift, anyway. πŸ™‚ Happy anniversary!

  • Congratulations, you two crazy kids!

  • Now everybody’s going to want a husband. πŸ™‚

  • Happy anniversary! You made me LOL about the celebrity options, although you did forget the Sex Tape and DUI years.

  • Aimee

    Happy Anniversay, a little late! It’s great being married to your favorite one, isn’t it?

  • Scottsdale Girl


  • Congratulations and Happy Anniversary! This August 7th will be our 17th anniversary also. Good to know it is furniture. I’m thinking the deck furniture we just bought for our new (to us) house is our present to each other.

  • Jessica

    Happy anniversary! We celebrated our fifth on May 27th. We call each anniversary a honeymoon (and so do some of our friends, since they say we’re still newlyweds), because I keep forgetting it’s called an anniversary for some reason. We always go away on a trip and do something fun. We don’t get presents for each other, instead opting to buy a present for us together (it is for our marriage together, after all) — usually something for our house, such as art, or something we know we’ll both enjoy.

    Last year, by the way, our anniversary present was signed copies of all of your books from Alabama Booksmith when you asked us to press the button. Yep, I got my husband to agree to buy them all again, since we already had them, for our anniversary present. πŸ˜€

    Each year, we ask our friends if we are oldyweds yet, but they say as long as we are holding hands and actually liking to be around each other we’ll be newlyweds. πŸ˜€ Here’s to several more decades of newleywedded bliss for you and your hubby as well.