LOOK UP! LOOK AWAY! LOOK HERE NOW! DO NOT SCROLL DOWN!!!!
LOOK AT….nothing! Yup. I have NOTHING to tell you except I have found a path into the new book and I have been sucked very far down it and am hardly breathing real air these days. YAY! It is weird to be working on a book with Backseat Saints JUST this second out in paperback and the book after Saints already complete and edited and somewhere in the bowels of publishing being magically typeset, so that my head is two books in front of the bookstores.
It makes Saints feel oddly removed and not really happening, which upsets me, because I theoretically LOVE Rose and her wretched dog, Gretel, so VERY much, but where are they? Somewhere in Berkeley? Is Rose wearing ugly shoes? SHE WOULDN’T!
Is the book happening? Do you see it around? Have you gotten one? I have not gotten out of sweat pants in three days, so everything feels fictional except my sweaty keyboard and tarragon chicken salad, which is all I have to eat in this house. Buckets of it. Starting to hate its guts. Please remit emergency tomato bisque.At night, I emerge from the fictional Circle K where I am having Guns and Love burst and bloom respectively, and I am watching THE BIG BANG THEORY on DVD with Sam, who every now and again does not get some of the jokes because the Sheldon-logic makes SENSE to him.
Kid is a genius, and that comes with a scoop of weirdness and a spooky bit of Sheldon-empathy. *shrug* But anyway, at the end, Chuck Lorre has this huge wad of TEXT and I like to freeze it and read it.
Sometimes it is a rant, sometimes a joke, sometimes a philosophical musing. The last ep, it was Mr. Lorre’s take on the question that stumps Miss Manners…What do you say to an atheist when he sneezes.
The traditional “God bless you!” may or may not be effective in warding off bubonic plague, but either way, it isn’t proper to God bless an atheist.
Chuck Lorre had the best answer. Ever. When the atheist sneezes you say, “Oh dear! It sounds like you are coming down with something. I hope you don’t die and rot in a box.”I like it because it hits an almost impossible-to-hit magic trifecta; it respects a foreign-to-me belief system while wishing someone well while being blackly hilarious. *clapclapclap*
I like it so much I just said, “Oh dear! It sounds like you are coming down with something. I hope you don’t die and rot in a box!” to Ansley, who sneezed, and who may or may not be an atheist, but who definitely has a soul, whether she knows it or not.
Some dogs do, apparently. *shrugs again* I can see hers shining goodness beams out of her ears at moments. Not the moments when she is EATING MY CARPET, mind you, but other moments, I see it gleaming there. Bagel has one, too, but his is a one-celled organism, like his brain.
And there I am, back to Saints, which really MUST be happening and real out there, because I had a sudden wash of pure certainty that GRETEL has a soul, and then I remembered Gretel doesn’t actually, technically exist. But it reminded me my book DOES and I was back in the place where I was when I sat in the backseat of that car and followed Rose across the country. See how that works?
If you do, please explain it to me in a letter you send with the bisque and probably some brain medication. THANKS.
I wave goodbye as Obi Wan Dog says, “The Mental Illness is strong in this one today.”