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This is an ocelot. Apparently. When I said we had them living in our hair, I was picturing a type of weasel. I chose Ocelots because the weasel is an inherently amusing animal—even the WORD Weasel is an inherently amusing word. But no, ocelots are a darling thing you get when a house cat [...]  ADVICE NUMBER ONE: You should read Richard Russo on the toilet. No, but, you really should. I was recently found by an old and very very very odd college acquaintance on the Facebook (OH! INTERNET! WHAT DID WE DO BEFORE YOU???), and when I asked him what he was up to these days, [...] SO I did a book club call last night – V fun group. One of them, Nora Lindberg, wrote some Haiku in response to A GROWN-UP KIND OF PRETTY. This one was my favorite: What kind of pretty are they- Hair pretty, smart pretty, or Mom pretty? Tough pretty wins every time. [...] First of all, my dad was back in CCU last week and all this weekend with some congestive heart failure. Just a LITTLE bit. Heh. We’ve all been in Birmingham. They thought it was a heart attack or pulmonary embolism, but it was a problem with some clotting in his graft. They were able to [...]
My Gimlet Eye. Look, it is fixing you. SO when last we spoke, I was trying to think of NON BRIBEY incentives that might motivate genuine fans of A GROWN-UP KIND OF PRETTY help get the word out about its NOM for BEST FICTION over at GOODREADS. Have YOU voted yet, Oh Best of [...] Yes yes yes, spiritual lessons from dogs whose insides seem to be half-bladder yesterday, spiritual lessons from dogs whose insides seem to be half-bladder tomorrow, but NEVER, it seems, spiritual lessons from dogs whose insides seem to be half-bladder TODAY. SOCK ME NON OF YOUR PINK SOCKERIES, oh best of all possible beloveds, [...] Oh My Best Beloveds, something AMAZING happened today. Remember in the way-back-back of 2006 when I asked you to give me your email addresses if you wanted to be on the list to get my BRAND NEW EXCITING COMING VERY SOON ANY SECOND NOW REALLY newsletter that I promised to send out whenever I [...] Consider this my Holiday Greetings and Christmas Cards to all the people I did not mail Christmas cards to, which includes…everyone on the planet. Yes. I suck. BUT! I used to BUY Christmas cards and not send them, so now I just skip right to not sending them, so at least I suck [...] My sweet friend Patty Callahan Henry and her daughter Meghan used their awesomeness to get the COMPLETELY AMAZING Marcia (B-Ham’s large mammal curator) to take me and Susan Rebecca White on a special ZOO TOUR in honor of Susan’s Birthday and my existential angst ridden mid-life crisis. I have to tell you—this was the [...] My best beloveds have essentially asked me, “Joss, why are you so bat-crap crazy, crapping crazy bats?” In lieu of a straight answer, I give you a list of reasons why it is bad to schedule your life via a sacred paper calendar: 1) Rememer that superfun day when I lost the sacred Paper [...] |
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