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What Giraffe Say

Hint: not RING DING DINGITTY BLARG BLARG LAR or whatever it is.

Self-improvement is not a slow, sustainable climb to glory for me. It comes in fits and starts and surges, with a lot of backsliding and re-victories and unvictories and periods of despair and sudden reversals and emergent mourning and losing interest and […]

A TY, a FRO’BACK FRIDAY Contest, and my second attempt to write What Was Failed, Part 1

First, from the files of UNfail, SOMEONE ELSE’S LOVE STORY is a USA today bestseller, and I feel really happy and grateful about that. That’s a national list, and I have never had a book hit it before. SO.

Dear everyone who bought the book so far, You are warm and fragrant, buttered with […]

The Year of Living Thriftorously

First the tour is up. Am I coming to a town near you? Are you coming to the town near you to see me?

If I am NOT coming to a town near you? Well. Now you know. And you can take steps to get the signed, personalized copy of SELS you need to […]

My Beautiful Mid-Life Crisis

I have decided to live to be exactly 88, at which point I will drop dead onto the tarmac. I plan to have wispy tufts of lavender hair not actually covering much of my shiny smooth cap of scalp. I will be sporting a generous dollop of crooked-y pink lipstick, some on my lips and […]

The Blog Shies

There’s are couple of weird things that happen when you stop blogging for a little—or a lot.

1) First, you HATE to read those “why I have not been blogging” entries by other people, because they are not very interesting, and they seem to imply a certain HOW HAVE YOU MANAGED WITHOUT ME […]

The State of the Union: Part One

This turnip is experiencing anticipation and hopeful love. Or it is a stalker.

I am about as self actualized as your average turnip.

That may not be fair to turnips.

Perhaps your AVERAGE turnip sits around thinking, “I am crunchy! I am wholesome! My nature is serene root-vegetable-y-ness. I understand my potential […]

An Explanation

My best beloveds have essentially asked me, “Joss, why are you so bat-crap crazy, crapping crazy bats?”

In lieu of a straight answer, I give you a list of reasons why it is bad to schedule your life via a sacred paper calendar:

1) Rememer that superfun day when I lost the sacred Paper […]

Where the Red Fern Does Not Grow

I need to re-invigorate my soil.

I hate gardening, so I fervently wish this was a metaphor. It is not.

Here you see a pretty picture of the loamy dirt bed outside my office. It is rife with azaleas. I show you this to make it less humiliating to show you the NEXT […]