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The Pre-Penultimate Fail

Some books I read last year

Thanks, my inputting inputties. We are BIG TIME GO on the WHAT I READ part of Backdate Quaints. It isn’t book recs so much as a running list I will keep of whatever books I read that week. I think I will break it into two parts. READ […]

The Incredibly Disappointing Movie Ballerina Sex-Love Playa Fallacy Comparison

So I noticed that the two main ballerinas in BLACK SWAN had made almost exactly the same movie, FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS and NO STRINGS ATTACHED in which Natalie Portman OR Mila Kunis, but not respectively, has convenient but contractually loveless sex with Justin Timberlake or Ashton Kutcher, but not respectively, and they all four […]

Things That Are Awful

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW. The way he looks up at his person and makes lip-smackies. As if he is saying, “MMMM THANKS FOR THE DELCICIOUS….NOTHING.” And yet he keeps trying. He is Sisyphus Lizard. It is awful. And yet I laugh and laugh.

Look, this is awful, too:

Our across the street neighbors have a Santa […]

You Are Lucky To Know Me (a festival of self loathing in three parts. By which I mean, one part.)

You ARE lucky to know me. Because I am So Cool, Is Why.

Also, you are lucky to know me because I don’t ever do anything I say I am going to do, and this lets you feel better about yourself, because you probably do do at least SOME of the things you […]

This I Like

I am in a funk. BLERRRRG. Scott has been out of town for a week, is why, so I am EXHAUSTED. When he goes away, my regulation insomnia becomes Insomnia Double Plus Plus.

I am unpleasant.

I do not bathe.

The potted basil looks droopy and instead of getting the hose […]

An Explanation

My best beloveds have essentially asked me, “Joss, why are you so bat-crap crazy, crapping crazy bats?”

In lieu of a straight answer, I give you a list of reasons why it is bad to schedule your life via a sacred paper calendar:

1) Rememer that superfun day when I lost the sacred Paper […]

What to Watch When Sicksicksicksicksicksick

Can I chakram that mucus for you, ma’am?

There was this stomach flu thing that made its way through Georgia and then my family, and I think in the wake of it, my much pampered, zinc-infested, Airborne-sucking, Echinacea-fused bloodstream FAILED me, and it let the flu in. I am DYING of mucus and my […]

The Vanity Fair Shoot

Psst! Don’t forget to enter to win a copy of Karen Abbott’s hot new book, American Rose.

SO, if you are in the grocery store, pick up a copy of February’s Vanity Fair and take a peek at pages 115 – 116. I’m in there with a posse made up of The Lady […]

NAILed

Merry Everything!

I am having a little romance with a site called NAIL.

They market things, and are super innovative about it…Nail = smart. Also? A little weird. In the good way.

You may remember them from my post about longing for the gift of a sliced off, tannery-preserved hunk of elf ear this […]

To My Friends Inside the Television

The book is eating me. I can’t stop or put it down, and I am so floppitty-xausted by day’s end, I just want to glare blankly at the Television. And I DO mean glare. I TRY to relax, but I cannot. Why? You ask. Well. Some of my friends in the television ARE MAKING ME […]