Comments: Two Minor Christmas Miracles

Oh lawsy, you make me laugh! I'd have kneecapped the guy.

John Mayer, indeed.

Posted by RuthWells at December 5, 2008 10:10 AM

...is thankful that she has no plans to visit the state of Georgia anytime in the next 4 days. And while she's at it, will stay away from Starbucks entirely just in case the Murerous Rampage should make its way across the Mason-Dixon line. Like the phenomenon from The Happening. Because that could so totally happen IRL.

Posted by Tammy at December 5, 2008 10:13 AM

I HATE that so much. WHY does it seem like the only people who bother singing out loud to the music only they can hear have NO vocal ability? It makes my classically-trained-in-opera brain want to implode. I don't think I would have been so non-murdering.

My Christmas miracle hasn't happened yet. I am confident it will. We've got three weeks. (Note I have nothing specific in mind. I'm just sure something will come up!)

Posted by Jess at December 5, 2008 10:44 AM

Heh. You were very GOOD and VIRTUOUS. I applaud your non-murder.

Miracles here? Well, the other day (and I'm not sure that this REALLY qualifies as a Christmas miracle exactly, but it felt pretty good, just the same) I called this guy for a client of mine. I had a question -- simple yes or no answer, would have taken 10 seconds of his time. But instead he decided to lecture me about what is and isn't my job, etc. I felt I handled it passably well, but after the fact thought of many other things that would have been better to say. Anyway, later that day, he called BACK. To complain to me again. And this time? Oh this time! I said what I wanted to say. The most beautiful part of it is that I did it (and I can NEVER do this! NEVERNEVERNEVER!) politely. I did it firmly and politely and calmly, but all the same, I wrecked him and his rudeness. And Lo! It felt darn good.

Posted by Aimee at December 5, 2008 10:46 AM

Oh, you had me laughing out loud. The description of the goatee guy was spot on. I hate those guys!

Were you exaggerating about the conversation with your kids that morning, or did you really truly actually find out about a costume, cookies, and a play the morning of? That's crazy! I can't even imagine.

Posted by Holly at December 5, 2008 12:17 PM

My Christmas miracle is Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. Trust me. You want to see it. Netflix has it for free on the instant watch thing.

Posted by JenA at December 5, 2008 1:29 PM

Not murdering people: a fine old Joshilyn's-Family tradition! Maisy must get it from you.

(c.f.: http://www.joshilynjackson.com/mt/archives/000920.html )

Posted by elswhere at December 5, 2008 2:18 PM

No Christmas miracles here yet, but if my share of miracles are down there with you, keeping you murder-free until Scott comes home, then they are QUITE well spent and welcome to be with you!

heh. I've seen goatee-guy. Or goaty-guy. He's so very full of himself, isn't he?

Posted by Fran at December 5, 2008 5:34 PM

I applaud you for being able to string coherent words together with your Love gone that many days. Egads. Hubby and I work in the very same school building and ride to and fro with our children every day, so I think you are monumentally strong and that killing Mr. Panties would have been totally understandable. . .and would have saved some girl from waiting for him to call.

Posted by Roxanne at December 5, 2008 7:16 PM

THAT GUY IS A JERK.

Posted by Nik at December 6, 2008 3:42 AM

I hate people like that... for instance in my one class...there are a group of THREE Asians...that sit and talk in their native language constantly until two of them falls asleep. Every day!!! Totally ignoring the teacher when she asks the class to be quiet. Our substitute who was the noise police on Tuesday, was about driven nuts. I always envision flinging my pencils at them like ninja stars and piercing their necks or throwing my books at them smashing their faces. I also work with a girl that does this "Hmm Hmm Hmm" when she is thinking and she does it all the TIME. But anyway. Hope Scott has a safe trip home and not to his wife sitting in a corner chewing on her fingernails...or sitting in a jail cell...or a round white room with padded walls....

Posted by Lia at December 6, 2008 8:16 AM

I am very impressed at your ability to not commit murder in the face of such jerkfacedness. I know that guy, too, and I do not know that I would have been able to maintain my composure in the face of THAT guy singing THAT song.

I hope that Scott has a safe trip home.

Posted by erinanne at December 7, 2008 3:25 PM

One more day, Joss!!! I had to come back and report that this weekend, I had my Christmas miracle. I'll be married for four years in July, and we've never decorated for Christmas. We've half-heartedly put out some Christmas candles my husband's mother gave us, occasionally remembered to put on a seasonal tablecloth... but we never had room for a tree, so it never seemed worth it to me to do anything else.

We moved over the summer to an apartment with actual storage space and a living room that isn't just one big box, and we realized we have room for a tree! So we got a Christmas tree this weekend and tonight we're going to put it up and decorate and I am just like a little kid I am so excited. :D

On the flip side, of course, I've developed your crazy wake-up-every-hour insomnia, which means I get about total four-five hours of sleep a night, maybe, and which is not nearly enough for me to function. Have you figured out any way to sleep for multiple hours straight yet?

Posted by Jess at December 8, 2008 11:30 AM

I spent the week aiding and assisting a zillion frantic parents after their school went on lockdown when a weapon was reported. I had a sharpshooter on my Library roof and the bloodthirsty media sticking mics in faces. BLEK. The Christmas miracle? It was a BB gun, and a high-schooler will probably not see pantyland for the rest of his natural life.

At least your goatee go to guy wasn't singing "I will fix you" by Coldplay. That has to be the smarmy song of the century.

Posted by Going Crunchy at December 12, 2008 11:38 PM