Comments: And you CAME and you GAVE! Without TAKING!

erm. I have that record. Charlayne. Never been to me. From the album... Used to Be. I could quote the whole thing but I won't...

"you know what truth is? it's that little baby you're holding. it's that man you fought with this morning. the same one you're going to make love with tonight. that's truth! that's love!"

Posted by dynagirl at December 5, 2006 5:41 PM

I'm glad Dynagirl had the info on that song because I had no idea. However, the heart is a fart game is one I have been playing without the benefit of a catchy name for years! Who knew!

Personal fave:
Look at this face
I know the beers are showin'
Look at me drive
I still don't know where I'm goin'

I don't know much
But I know I'm loaded
And that may be
All they need to know

Posted by em at December 5, 2006 9:56 PM

Thanks, Joshilyn. As soon as I read the post title, Homer Simpson started singing in my head:

"Oh Mandy,
You came and you brought me a turkey
On my vacation away from worky."

And I can't make him stop!

Posted by kac at December 6, 2006 8:01 AM

Charlayne? Is that how it's spelled? The one-name, one-hit wonder woman who dominated my Summer of 82 (or 81?) with the Song That Will Be Stuck In My Memory Till I Die.

My best friend recently learned to download music and burn CDs and I was driving with her awhile ago when suddenly the words, "Hey lady..." came over the speakers and I screamed, "NEVER BEEN TO ME! You've got NEVER BEEN TO ME!! on this CD!!! Awesome!!!!" So yeah, brings back the memories.

I vividly remember singing into my hairbrush one day between classes in Grade Eleven: "I've been undressed by kings, and I've seen some things that a woman ain't s'posed to see..." when the guy in front of me turned around and said, "You HAVE??" However, my worst musical admission of shame would have to be that even now, the line, "that man you fought with this morning ... the same one you're going to make love to tonight," said with the little break in her voice ... kinda almost makes me cry a bit.

Posted by TrudyJ at December 6, 2006 8:17 AM

"My Heart is a Fart" also works with certain Christmas songs if, you know...you don't mind going to hell and all. :-)

Posted by DebR at December 6, 2006 8:50 AM

Also works well when your son is practicing the same frelling song on the piano 500 times in a row.

Posted by Laura L at December 6, 2006 10:40 AM

"I've been undressed by kings/ and I've seen some things/ that a woman ain't s'posed to see/ hey, lady, I've been to paradiiiiiise, but I've never been to me."

Good lord. I used to love that song, but it raised so many questions. First of all, kingS? I want names! And what exactly is it that "a woman ain't s'posed to see?"

I wish I could known about the Heart is a Fart game when my husband and I were driving from Boston to San Diego. As it was, we had to settle for Songs of the Egomaniac, which is when you listen to overwrought ballads, but replace every "you" with "me." As in, "How am I supposed to live without me? Now that I've been lovin' me so long?" It works especially well with Celine Dion songs.

Posted by Aimee at December 6, 2006 10:49 AM

I wish I HAD known. HAD. Not could. Sheesh.

Posted by Aimee at December 6, 2006 10:49 AM

I think I've played that game also, but never had a name for it either! My husband started me on it with this classic song from Eddie Rabbit:

"Ooo-ooo I'm driving my life away, looking for a better way for me"---becomes---:

"Ooo-ooo I'm driving my wife away
looking for a better lay
for me."

I have never been able to listen to the song since and sing the right words....

Posted by Sheri at December 6, 2006 6:23 PM

Another classic, from my friend's brother:

"Havin' my baby,
What a sneaky way of sayin' we're gettin' married..."

Posted by TrudyJ at December 6, 2006 8:54 PM

I have to correct something here. Sorry I'm a DJ. It is Charlene, and it is from the LP of the same name. I've Never Been To Me.

The Rock the Casbah commercial just kills me. Who would have thunk My heart is a Fart commercials would be so current.

Posted by Cele at December 7, 2006 1:43 AM

We actually play the game unwittingly around here. My husband for years thought the words to the Elton John song were "Saturday night's alright for fighting, better than election year."

Posted by dramamama at December 7, 2006 9:20 AM

I just remember that I was a VERY innocent 12 year old and I heard that song and the lines, "I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't s'posed to see", and being OH SO CURIOUS! about what a woman wasn't supposed to see.

At 38, sometimes I still wonder.

Posted by Angela at December 7, 2006 1:21 PM

I think the secret thing women ain't s'posed to see is that sometimes, kings are not very well equipped.

Posted by TrudyJ at December 7, 2006 7:43 PM

Bwah! I shoulda guessed, Trudy. Thanks for the clarification.

Posted by Aimee at December 8, 2006 11:14 AM

That "I've Never Been to Me" song was on the soundtrack for Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. One of the drag queen characters lip synched to it during the movie. So I think that takes it full-circle from totally cheesy to campy-cool.

Though I have to admit that I kind of liked that song when I was a teenager. It's right in the middle of my vocal range, so I could belt it out while driving around. I also admit to having a bit of a fantasy about it, where that was the kind of thing I would say later in life to my classmates at our class reunion, when I'd had this fabulous, globe-trotting career doing all kinds of glamorous things, while they remained stuck in that small town, having babies. Of course, I wouldn't really mean all that "I've never been to me" stuff and would only be saying it to make them feel better about their crummy lives. I always thought there was a condescending tone to the song, rather patronizing and maybe with a touch of sarcasm. It was like, "Yeah, I've gone to exotic places, had amazing lovers and wonderful adventures, but really, I totally envy you being stuck here, barefoot and pregnant." Or maybe that's just me.

As for the Mr. Mister song, there was a joke on the radio when it was popular about what the guy said at the Burger King drive-through window when he was complaining about his order: "Take these onion rings and learn to fry again." And ever since then, that's how I hear that song.

Posted by Shanna Swendson at December 9, 2006 11:15 PM