Comments: Things I Learned Reading Miss Snark

Every morning I have a list of things to do and a heart full of good intentions and then I click the link to Faster than Kudzu and it's all over. ;)

If you want to come over later and have a gunfight, I'm available!

Posted by Amy-GO at May 4, 2006 9:19 AM

"firm but genital hold"
six legs
melting eyeballs
vermicelli heads

Oh. My. GAWD.

I laughed so hard I nearly poodled my pants while my eyes gushed salt water like a really big salt-water-leaky thing and I gasped for air like someone pushed out of the airlock of a Voorilian war ship, only, you know, without the whole imploding in the airlessness of space thing.

When's the next IA short fiction contest again??

Posted by DebR at May 4, 2006 10:01 AM

Deb -- is it a compliment or an insult that your paragraph would compete rather nicely in that group.

I so hate snorting my coffee in the mornings -- and yet, I can not help myself to read this and snort away.

Posted by Patricia at May 4, 2006 10:11 AM

I'm a little creeped out by the eyes that rose from their fixed positions on the floor to stare at him. Also the eyes that poured like warm jello. In general, the eyes CREEP ME OUT. I need get someone in a genital grip, I think.

Posted by Kira at May 4, 2006 10:25 AM

"Ejaculations aside, that's one hell of a package to swallow!"

Really, what else is there to say?

Posted by Chris at May 4, 2006 10:28 AM

Those IA entries reminded me of teaching creative writing to high school seniors in the early 90s. The introduction of a word processor with a thesaurus in our computer lab made for some interesting reading.

Posted by Mel at May 4, 2006 11:14 AM

Oooooo! I want a liquilounge too!!!!

More grits... less irony!!

Posted by Cornelia Read at May 4, 2006 11:37 AM

oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I always did want to write a book, but didn't think my sentence structure, spelling, imagination,vocabulary, training,or education in such, would allow it (or have it actually sell)
Sweet Jesus, I'm getting me a WOO WOO and writin' me a book!
p.s don't laugh. I've seen them rabbits

Posted by desi at May 4, 2006 12:57 PM

Sure I know the Woo Woo. We've served them here in Houston for a decade or so. The only problem with them is the idiots who get drunk off of them seem compeled to then run around like a freight train screaming WOO WOO!! (Sigh, life in the clubscene.) See the vodka is relativly harmless, less than an ounce, the peach schnopps even less of a player (only 40 proof) but the two together and the cavity causing sweetness goes straight to your head creating a 21 year old frat boy in your normal place. (Screams like an idiot, tends to hump anything that holds still, and falls in love with the closest person- "I love you man!") So Ccharming.

Posted by Nic at May 4, 2006 2:02 PM

It's so *snicker* terribly reasuring to know *snork* that Weston has things so well in hand! *ROFLMAO*

Posted by David at May 4, 2006 2:11 PM

Patricia, I'd say compliment since that's what I was trying for. Now if I'd been trying to write Serious Litrachurrrrr, well that'd be another story! ;-)

Posted by DebR at May 4, 2006 4:01 PM

*creeping out from behind my safe wall of lurkdom to comment on a REAL PUBLISHED AUTHOR'S BLOG!!*

I've just got to say, I've been working on writing a lil' sumthin' of my own, and I suddenly feel much more confident about my writing abilities after reading those contest entries!! I'm feeling the need to go check out this Miss Snark website for sure! And Joshilyn, I just have to tell you that not a post entry goes by that you don't have me absolutely rolling in the aisles--you are such a talented writer!

*going back into hiding under my rock on the outskirts of Rabbitania*

Posted by Angela at May 4, 2006 5:31 PM

This is my fave: Instinctively, without thinking about it, he grabbed the woman and hugged her and then gave her breasts a couple of playful pinches. "Commander please," she said as she blushed and began yodeling.


Cause, I always yodel when Corey grabs my breasts. *rolls eyes*

By the way, what do you think of the rumor that Capote actually wrote To Kill?

Posted by Heather at May 4, 2006 8:32 PM

No! He never did!! I never heard of that and wish I never had!

Now I feel like I've just taken a daily bath in onion oil.

Posted by elswhere at May 4, 2006 10:52 PM

Now see, the daily bath in onion oil really DOES sound like one of the worst things that could happen.

Well, okay, except for the vermicelli head and the jello eyeballs. And the yodeling.

I agree with Angela. I'm going to re-read all the novelish things I've written and be very glad that not one of them has..no, wait, one does have a rabbit, but it's a real rabbit...for a novel, that is...but not even the science fiction story has anyone throwing away anything they've found in their trousers! And not one person says "Oovil snetch" ever.

Posted by Fran at May 5, 2006 3:09 AM

It's kinda catchy, though. Could "Oovil snetch" be the new Lemony Snicket? Hmm?

Posted by David at May 5, 2006 7:46 AM

I think "oovil snetch" sounds like a character IN Lemony Snicket. I could totally picture the Beaudilaire (sp?) kids discovering they have a nasty old Uncle Oovil Snetch who is trying to be their guardian.

Posted by DebR at May 5, 2006 9:54 AM

oh, Joshilyn, I can see you running around the Writers' Symposium (in terribly cute shoes, bien sur) with a cocktail glass in hand, yodeling, "Do you want to touch my Woo Woo, kids?"
!!!
P.S. IF that should actually happen, pleez post video!

Posted by Elena at May 7, 2006 10:44 AM