I will now have to go find the haiku in your comments that starts with "Dog! Do not eat it!" because that sounds awesome.
And your story of the poodle almost made me shoot coffee out my nose, which is a good trick today since I can hardly keep my eyes open. But I have tears running down my face from laughter. You really do tell a great story.
I added Cornelia's book to my wishlist.
1. The Nose Poodle story was totally worth the wait, even though the "undulate" and "pulse" parts had me going "eeeuuwEeuuwEEUUWWWW!"
2. Congrats, Becky! I loved that limerick.
3. Congrats, ME!! YAY! Thank you Cornelia and Joss!! (I'll email my addy, J.)
4. Cornelia, your book sounds really good! I'll gladly go pitterpattring (under the influence of the poodle story y'know) to Amazon to pre-order if you want, but before I do will you be having any way for us to order signed copies from an independent bookseller? 'cause that'd be my preference if it's an option.
Nose Poodle....we had a delicate Cocker Spaniel who expressed love and gratitude the same we way. We coined it the Vulcan Brainlick!
I have fallen asleep, more than once, and awoken to find Arlo, of short stature and big dog weight, standing on top of me peering into my face with his nose in my open mouth. Eeeewww!
"white goats on the hillside"... *SNORK*!
I have to write a blog post again today, and after reading this YET ANOTHER thing of most splendiferous beauty and wit penned by our own dearest Joshilyn, yea, I AM NOT WORTHY. Or funny. Like, at all.
And o, winningest DebR, I will be signing copies next Thursday at Cody's Books:
1730 Fourth Street
Berkeley, CA 94710
From anywhere in the US: 800-995-1180
From within CA ONLY: 800-479-7744
I would love to sign one there for you and have them send it, should you be so inclined. and THANK YOU!
everyone did such a great job. they were lots of fun to read and what creativity!!
I totally thought I had it nailed!
Wait, what? Not even in YOUR alternate dimension, Joshilyn, should breasts be like goats NOR should such things have anything to do with a mortgage. It's good that you're so pretty and funny because sometimes you are JUST PLAIN WEIRD.
Perhaps you are suffering from PLBA (poodle-licked brain atrophy), mmmmm?
Congrats to DebR -- you wrote some of the funniest stuff (and worked really hard at it)!! I'm green -- all my body parts are turning green in fact --- but I'm pleased you won!!!
I'm close-ish to Berkley, perhaps I will go down to the book signing --- I really want to see what goat breasts look like.
Well! I dare say you would have no such trouble with the Spanish newts. And that brain-sucking poodle gives a whole new meaning to: Dog! Do not eat it! Who knew they had an appetite for brain cells? *snork*
Congrats, Becky and DebR!
Patricia, that would be SO GREAT!!! Thank you!!!
Thank you for giving me one more reason to tell my children why we can never, ever have a dog.
Yes, Deb, you cannot have signed copies of Cornelia's new book from SMB (Seattle Mystery Bookshop) because, even though the lovely Ms. Read will be signing there on June 2nd, we have on hand only 36 copies of her book and more reservations for her book than that.
*grin* Such a great problem to have, and we'll fix it, of course, before she gets here. But thank you for supporting the independents!
Regarding the Nose Poodle...Don't DO that! I'm recovering from a cold/flu, and I cough just breathing and when I laugh, I turn all purply and gasp like a trout in the sun. Not at ALL pretty, and kind of scary at times! But I've known poodles like that, so you have my complete and total commiseration!
OH, FRAN, you gladden my tiny black heart... pitter-clank, pitter-clank. I am so very sorry to hear that you are suffering from the sunbathing-trout-laughter disease.
And we have now all been running around THIS house all night saying "Dog! Do not eat that!" and cracking each other up. Should we maybe give Karry a prize for funniest? Like, I don't know, perhaps something in a bronzed tootsie roll?
I just called Cody's Books and they wouldn't sell me one because they don't have any yet! Sheesh...details, details! They assured me they'd have at least 60 copies by next Thursday though and said I should call back next week, so I'll try again later.
Thanks for the info, Cornelia.
And thank you Joss for letting us turn your comments into a "how to buy Cornelia's book" discussion! :-)
I added Cornelia's book to my list of books to get my next payday. Sounds like a really good one.
HA! I love it! A bronzed tootsie roll! Too funny! I am glad I made you all smile, the big grin on my face because you are all happy is worth not winning one of those awesome sculptures. (and they are awesome)
My dogs do the nose thing too - it's completely unnerving and gross to wake up like that.... so I don't fall asleep in the living room much.
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