I so badly want to pet your hair and holler at the mean doorman for you! I have an idea. If they have a comment card, leave the pieces of the spider displayed prominently on it.
Insist on speaking to the manager this very moment -- that is just nonsense.
#1) Workmen are not allowed to start making dreadful noise in the guest areas until after 9am. And even that is early, given the schedule hotel guests are often on. Insist that they change the time they start work.
#2) The presence of a spider that big in a "fancy" hotel? Uhhh... hello? Vermin! And use that term, too. It'll make the manager cringe. And added to the fact that noone even came to knock on your door with you making all that noise? That's a safety concern.
#3) Making you walk to the gym IN THE RAIN when they clearly say they'll give you a ride is false advertising. And downright RUDE! And you'd hate to have to tell your publishing house about your treatment. They might stop using said "fancy" hotel, and possibly even tell other publishing houses to do the same.
OK, so I sound like I'm being somewhat sarcastic here. I'm not; I'm dead serious. The manager needs to know that you are NOT pleased for these particular reasons, and what are they going to do to fix this? I would insist on at LEAST free room-service and a reprimand for the person who shipped you outside in a strange city IN THE RAIN.
And please make sure that you're telling your editor about the bullshit hotels you've been dealing with. It's obvious you aren't being a prima donna. There are certain levels of service that you expect, however, and if they're not being met, the people paying for the room need to know this.
(oh, and I'll be in Chicago next month for a conference. Would you be willing to email me with the name of the hotel you're at? I'd hate to wind up there unknowingly...)
Have I told you lately I LOVED gods?
Ahhh, but which is worse? The Hotel or Kimberly?
Loving gods, by the way. Reading it is sooo improving my vocabulary, too, you Big Smarty.
AAAHH!! That is inexcusable about the gym. What a bunch of dorks. I think you are perfectly within your moral rights to smuggle home that plasma TV as compensation.
But seriously, tell you editors how badly this hotel sucks.
Alright, that's IT! Next trip, we're sending Arlene's Aunt Flo with you. If she were along this trip, all rude, obnoxious and unacceptable treatment of our little Georgia peach would halt, cease and desist instantaneously. The spider would have been pulped; the construction workers would have been cowering (quietly, I might add) in their steel-toed boots; and the doorman would have carried you to the gym on his own back AND held the umbrella for you. Oh, and wouldn't Aunt Flo just love to get a-hold of Kimberly. Ha!
Oh my darling, I am incensed on your behalf. Like Amy, I want to pet your hair and rip the doorman a new one (I'm sure that's what Amy would've said if she wasn't so genteel-like). Instead I will have to settle for a day of telling you that you are pretty.
Because, HI, I will call you later but I will SEE YOU FOR LUNCH tomorrow, k? And if there are scary spiders at your expensive lodging, you can come hang out with me in my cheap-ass motel where I hear that all of the cockroaches ate the spiders already. Also we could just drink a lot and then not care so much. I'm just sayin'.
I never even thought about siccing Aunt Flo on them! That's wonderful! If she did that, they'd be offering to ship that plasma tv home for her, just "please get her off of me (whimper whimper)"
I think I will have to get your book for summer reading, I love southern books. I saw a full page add for your book in People yesterday. You rock
I'm with Beth on this one, Joss. I think it's time to channel your inner belle and Make A Fuss. AND to tell your publisher (maybe your media escort?) about your experiences.
Big hugs to you. I hope the next stop is better. It sure as hell better not be worse!!
yes, make a ladylike fuss. Speak to the manager and explain that you are not happy and why. Be very matter of fact and calm and sound Reasonable but Stern. You are only a doormat if you lie down for it!! I have traveled on business and it is always within your rights to complain and get satisfaction. That's the way these things work.
For the incipient cold, try some (not sure how to spell it) Courvasier - it is a liquer that will knock your socks off, even sniffing it will clear your sinuses all the way to Paris. And then you'll sleep well.
Had a dream about you last night. In it I was telling you that due to the demands being made on your life, the unpleasantness, the cold, the spider, rude people, being away from your husband and babies (yada, yada, yada) you needed to order ROOM SERVICE. I have never done it myself, but if I were in your circumstances, for my mental health, I might be a little more likely to need that kind of pampering. You are earning it. You deserve it. Really.
I would give you a ride to the gym.