Comments: As Seen On Television: Part I lost track

Sorry about the insomnia. With luck, your well-chosen Princess Bride reference will cause you to be rewarded with better sleep tonight!

Posted by JMyersbook at September 26, 2009 10:39 AM

Gah! The insomnia is crappy enough, but I sympathize with the horrible dream. I had a very bad dream last spring that left me meloncholy and bleak for almost 2 months. Pamper yourself today and sleep well tonight.

Posted by JulieB at September 26, 2009 11:15 AM

Insomnia sucks, but that was really, really funny! :)

Posted by saltedwithshadows at September 26, 2009 11:26 AM

I also hate CSI and miss Life very much. CSI is not even so bad that it's good, it is so bad it's passed good and gone back to bad. Unless you watch this, in which it is good and hilarious:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sarYH0z948

Posted by Jessica at September 26, 2009 11:37 AM

Oh, Insomnia. I prefer the infomercials about kitchen gadgets. I love to cook, and I like to think I cook well, and all without the aid of the Magic Bullet or the Jack LaLane Power Juicer or that weird radioactive oven thing endorsed by Mr. T. Or those knives where the guy uses the knife to try to cut a hammer. So it amuses me to watch unnaturally perky hosts that they say are "celebrities" and yet who I have never heard of talk about how long it takes to peel an apple by hand.

P.S. I think I'd lay there in the dark thinking about the disastrous poetry reading until dawn before I turned on CSI. And yet, people I know are always saying things like, "There was a CSI marathon on yesterday! I love that show!" Maybe, like you, I am missing something...something that apparently makes the show bearable to watch for more than 10 seconds.

Posted by Haley at September 26, 2009 11:39 AM

I watch it. I'm sorry. It's horrifyingly amusing to me.

Posted by Heather at September 26, 2009 11:53 AM

I will forgive you if you do nto have a nielson box.

Posted by Joshilyn at September 26, 2009 11:55 AM

Joshilyn + CSI + no sleep = funny post

Also:

Joshilyn + CSI + no sleep = grouchy Joshilyn

I'm sorry you feel sad and mean. I think you should feel witty and clever.

Posted by Nikki at September 26, 2009 12:02 PM

I still cannot and will not accept that David Caruso went from NYPD Blue to such dreck. It is staggeringly bad. Also, the blonde girl who was so good on West Wing. What kind of crazy voodoo magic are they perpetrating to lure such talent to the place where it goes to die? And then be exhumed. And then be splayed out on a table in gruesome splayed-ness. I may have just made up the word splayed...I'm awfully tired.

I'm pretty sure ExtenZ was concocted at the Ponds Institute- that bastion of science...

Posted by laura at September 26, 2009 12:17 PM

Did you know that there is a CSI Miami drinking game? Yes, you do a shot every time Horatio Cain takes off his glasses.

Posted by Heather Cook at September 26, 2009 12:37 PM

Oh, Heather! I am hoping to start a drinking game (they must start somewhere) for Dr Phil where you take a drink whenever someone says "that's why we're here." Whatever gets you through the afternoon, you know?

My favorite thing about the informercials is the fine print under the "experts". Dr. Endorsement is usually a resident or has a PhD in astology or something. Sometimes they are dramatizations of real experts who said things taken out of context to imply endorsement: "[I think NO ONE, under any circumstances should EVER] 'USE THIS PRODUCT!'"

Posted by Em at September 26, 2009 3:55 PM

Em, As-tology? Perfect!

Joshilyn, you are a very very cleaver woman. Thanks for the smile.

Posted by Shonna at September 26, 2009 6:54 PM

I don't know anything about poetry either, but you sure are right about referring folks to Beth Ann Fennelly. I attended a writing conference where she was an instructor, and boy can that girl deliver a poem. I mean, wow. She was amazing.

Posted by Lisa Katzenberger at September 26, 2009 8:36 PM

Okay. You've done it again. My husband just said "Stop that damnable giggling!" (He was smiling, by the way.)

Posted by Sandra Leigh at September 26, 2009 9:26 PM

Strange dreams abound! Yours is the scariest, though.

And I came home to my very sick Lillian watching CSI: Miami, but she does have a plague of some sort and is automatically forgiven.

I do hope you get some sleep tonight!

Posted by Fran at September 26, 2009 10:50 PM

My daughter is 12 1/2 now and writing long, angst-filled poems about pain, and no gain being possible now because of all the pain, and also cuz everyone's dead. Also there are knights, dragons, and lots of fairies. It's fairly awesome.

Posted by edj at September 27, 2009 6:50 PM

CSI:Miami is slightly more tolerable if you think of it as a COMEDY. Also, if you play Heather's drinking game. And those are not ordinary sunglasses, they are the Sunglasses of Justice.

Posted by JenniferG at September 28, 2009 8:58 AM

Sniff* I miss The Unusuals. Thanks for bringing it up.

Posted by heidi at September 28, 2009 9:29 AM

Oh my. You should only ever watch CSI:Miami if you are in NEED of rage. It is not the cure for insomnia. I do remember David Caruso being good on NYPD Blue lo! these many years ago. But the man has not done a single good thing since leaving that show. It's uncanny, really. I will say, though, that my husband and I love to make fun of that show any time we happen to breeze past it while searching for something to watch. We like to imitate David Caruso's heavy intonation and weird dramatic pauses.

Posted by Aimee at September 28, 2009 10:57 AM

So did Red Haired Guy Who Used To Be So Great on NYPD Blue have his hands on his hips and his body angled sideways while spewing forth that profound line? Occasionaly when feeling meanish to the world, I'll watch and yell everytime he takes off his sunglasses, puts his hands on his hips or stands sideways to deliver a line. Gets rid of a lot of stress. Hee.

Posted by Kathy at September 28, 2009 12:21 PM

Only reason I ever watch CSI:Miami is because a kid that I worked with in a summer theatre program a century or so ago has an recurring role in it. He plays the Internal Affairs guy and, I think, does nice work.

William Peterson made the same cheesy dialogue work in the original CSI. His character reveled in his geekiness and was very at-home in his own skin. Horatio, et al take themselves far too seriously. Unfortunately, so do the actors who are playing them.

Posted by Jan in Norman, OK at September 28, 2009 12:24 PM

I would also like to vote for CSI: Pushing Daisies and CSI: Eli Stone. All the good stuff gets cancelled. I was happy to see Victor Garber in gLee though. Crap, I just remembered...we've got to start calling it CSI: gLee.

Posted by Melisa at September 28, 2009 4:16 PM

Just to make you more rage-y at CSI: Miami - did you know that for a while (I don't know if this is still true) that CSI: Miami was the number 1 show in the world?

Posted by Jessie at September 29, 2009 9:05 AM

efa1rK I want to say - thank you for this!

Posted by lilikindsli at October 1, 2009 8:31 AM